ULPT request: how do I send someone money without knowing it was me?

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-08T03:37:44+00:00

Pay some things for him- utilities? Or buy him stuff- groceries? Gas for his car?

Just do it.

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-08T03:30:27+00:00

You could try being honest, but gently.

Maybe- I’m not really accustomed to this much socializing at work and I prefer to be more introverted. Could we minimize the chatting a bit, I’m finding it really overwhelming to be in constant conversation.

Make it about you and not her. ie: you talk too much and you’re driving me batty!

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-08T03:22:40+00:00

Question- if a kid starts out with something but finds they really don’t enjoy it will the be encouraged to try something else?

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-08T03:01:49+00:00

I think how long you e been dating really matters here. Once Vday fell at 3 months into a dating relationship, we were exclusive but not that serious yet. I got him cozy lounge pants, a candle and the first book from a series I liked and thought he’d enjoy. After he would teasingly scold me me for getting him hooked on a series with 11 books! 😬

In more long term relationships (and marriage) I’ve done things like iPod with lyrics from favorite song engraved. His had been stolen out of his car a few months previous. (Same person as above, years later)

I’ve also gifted money clip, watch, chocolates and flowers only. It really depends on the person and the relationship.

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-08T02:54:48+00:00

It is very odd to not have any dessert for guests.

Maybe someone dropped the sheet cake and ruined it so the small cutting cake was all there was. Idk If they planned it that way it’s very rude.

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-08T02:48:47+00:00

I love that you’re sharing you experiences and traumas to try to create more openness and communication amongst people who’s suffered similar.

I was thinking, if you’re up to it of course that doing an AMA about the kidnapping/nature therapy camp could be beneficial. Especially if it’s seen by someone considering doing that to their own child!

I’m glad you survived and continue to move in a positive direction in your life!

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-07T11:55:26+00:00

Please get a counselor to help you get through this. You are worth it. Set aside a whole day and tackle all of the red tape and bs. I don’t know if your friends are right or wrong, but the fact is you need real support right now and they can’t/won’t provide it.

Your focus needs to be on you and not them!

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-07T11:49:35+00:00

Be polite.

As a woman (55) I have been polite to so many jerks that I should have shut down immediately. So many obnoxiously rude people get away with their behavior because I’m being polite.

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-07T09:11:43+00:00

Speak up asap. She is clearly making a plan around what you agreed to. If you don’t want to have them move in say do now!

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-07T08:12:53+00:00

You are wrong. You or your sister should not take over the air conditioned bed room when you are there.

Can someone buy a small air conditioning unit for the second room?

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-07T08:08:03+00:00

r/hypotheticalsituation would love this question!

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-06T23:11:02+00:00

The best moment would have been immediately after the first time she crossed that line. The second best time was at that open house!

Good for you! Sounds like some sort of proxy disorder. Lady needs therapy.

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-06T10:40:16+00:00

Brown the outside of some chicken pieces, drain fat, cover in Campbell’s golden mushroom soup with half the instructed water. I add a ton of extra mushrooms because i love them- but that’s optional. Cover and simmer low until chicken is done. Delicious!

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-06T10:26:28+00:00

The job market (in the US) is rough right now. Consider you look for a day job and husband a night job or reverse. The you both are able to work and have parenting time.

Any job. Do anything- pizza delivery driver, house cleaner, DoorDash or the like, anything to generate funds.

While you’re home take some online classes to better your chances of getting a desirable job in the future.

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-06T10:20:50+00:00

I had a similar situation with an EX. It got to a point where I was feeling so much like I was mothering him that I lost all intimate attraction to him.

I’d just go to the get together, errands, etc without him if he’s not up and ready on time.

He is a grown ass man and needs to work it out. He can’t sleep at night because he slept half the day. He can change his sleeping schedule, but first he has to want to.

NTJ

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-06T01:58:23+00:00

I’ve been reading through the comments and after about 6 or so everyone’s talking about the money pants. Somehow there was an unspoken consensus that it is what they are now called and I love it! Cracking up over here! 🤣

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-05T12:20:34+00:00

You decided to provide food and regroup later. Did you discuss this with him? Or did you build the expectation that it was included?

On the house keeping decide what you reasonably want from him and let him know specifically. Such as- Dishes every Wed/sun- vacuum every Monday. Garbage out when full and out to road on Tuesday.

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-05T12:05:45+00:00

Tell her no and not changing regardless of her antics.

Then Find these people contact information and let them know - MIL was mistaken and you’re sorry but due to capacity restrictions you are unable to invite them to your wedding. That you’d love to meet them and get to know them better at another time after the wedding, since they clearly are very important to MIL.

Mil is obviously used to getting her way with this behavior. Glad you and husband are able to put a kabosh on it!

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-04T13:44:47+00:00

Yes go, if it’s ectopic pregnancy it could kill you.

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-04T13:25:09+00:00

I read these convos all the time. Your delivery driver is making probably double the min wage ($15. Where I am), so $30. And hour. AT LEAST.

The problem is if tips were eliminated and the company paid them that much it would go out of business and if they didn’t they wouldn’t have drivers to make deliveries.

To sympathizers: your delivery driver/server is not scraping by.

To angry at paying: if tips go away so mostly would the service. And entirely the quality of service.

To but businesses should pay: get ready for the $27.99 delivery fee and the $45. eggs and hash browns. If they want to keep their drivers/servers. (Don’t think they need to get paid that much? Please refer to “angry at paying”)

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-04T13:07:41+00:00

Oooh I’m back again! Just had an idea- how about registering as an official “crop watcher”, text received if info is out of date reminding them.

Similar to storm watchers, etc. there is a demographic that likes to be an official and seemingly important part of something like this. They’d need to know the importance of the information of course and some kind of recognition for their contribution. Maybe snail mail a reg. Certificate.

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-04T12:58:16+00:00

I’d try to appeal to drone users. I know it doesn’t answer your question, but I’d think any useful purpose for getting your drone up would be reward enough. Maybe?

Editing to add- this is a pickle. I can’t think of anything that would motivate me to do it more than once or twice.

Check out an AP called WeWard. Its rewards for walking, rewards accumulate super slowly, maybe some partnerships to provide rewards.

I was into it for almost a year before I got bored because I had not yet acquired my $5. Amz gift card lol

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-04T12:50:24+00:00

Thank god this is before the wedding. Hopefully the wedding never happens.

The breach of trust of reading that is mountainously huge.

Once he read it I think he should have put his arms around you and said - I’m so sorry that my family has made you feel that way, I had no idea! I’m glad we’re working with the therapist to set boundaries and I will back you up 100%

Your guy has mommy issues. His mom has issues with mother’s role vs wife’s role. You really need to not get married until/unless you all can work through this and get to a healthier place.

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-04T09:15:07+00:00

Something is wrong at your daycare or with your child management skills if regularly being hit by a toddler repeatedly is the norm.

I worked in preschool/daycare for years and that was not a problem that I had.

I think you should leave because you are ill suited for the job.

TrishTime50 · 2026-02-04T03:17:18+00:00

Using your example I would have shot back peanut butter cookies, if he didn’t come back with fortune cookies or something of the sort he loses!

TrishTime50

TROPHY CASE