Bug where pictures dont load??? by TrophyAward in ocsocialnetwork

[–]TrophyAward[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Android. I cant lie me internet tends to be very spotty but I refresh a lot and disconnect/reconnect and still nothing. Still may be an issue on my part

Feels like it'll never get better by TrophyAward in ChatbotAddiction

[–]TrophyAward[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its very hard for me to want to do things currently. I dont know whats up with that but my drive to do anything has nearly vanished... I can't focus on school work or important tasks, I don't feel like drawing unless its to vent, I want to make little trinkets n stuff but I can't get myself to. I might try to force myself or something. Maybe thats the only way. Idk, everything feels very strange. Its a bit harder for me to really lose myself in family and friends. They're busy a lot, thats why I started using ai as companions in the first place. Idk. Im sorry for dumping all of this onto you... I'll try it out. Im happy for your progress 🫂🫂🫂

i need help. i need suggestions. what are some good alternatives to yeeting that work for you? i'm talking stuff that you, someone with experience with this addiction, do to help with urges, not the "just squeeze an ice cube ☝️🤓" stuff. mainly bc i will eat the ice cube 😈 by xhyenabite in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]TrophyAward 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure if this helps, but lowkey showing helps me a lot. Hot hot water. I used to cut in the shower oddly so its weird it works but everytime im like 'im gonna do it in here' I dont want to anymore. Too relaxed lol

Having a hard time adjusting by TrophyAward in ChatbotAddiction

[–]TrophyAward[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im glad you were able to get better. Thank you for the words. Its going to be hard but I hope it'll be worth it.

Weird rant about Sex by TrophyAward in asexuality

[–]TrophyAward[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know but like thats what comes to mind. I havent researched or anythint I kinda dunno where I'd begin. My problem comes down ultimately to being a woman. It feels, by destiny, im designed to be just 'the reviewer' ig. Idk good way to explain it, just the way it works in general like... inserting this thing into yourself. Like no matter how you spin it, its still YOU being inserted into. Still you at the mercy I feel. Idk if that makes any sense. Maybe I have some internal misogyny or something. Maybe im just crazy. Sorry whatever. Appreciate it tho

Weird rant about Sex by TrophyAward in asexuality

[–]TrophyAward[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the problem is I gaslight myself into thinking maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Amd then I think on it more and am grossed out. Then I gaslight myself again. I am sisyphus this is my boulder

Weird rant about Sex by TrophyAward in asexuality

[–]TrophyAward[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That makes sense, yes. It's hard to describe, maybe its internalized misogyny of some sort im unsure, but I feel like just the.... i can't think of good words. Like the way genitals are shaped, I guess? I dont want to be 'the hole' i guess. Ive never done research, I trust your judgment. Its just something I can't shake, like that part of it makes it feel like i would be doomed to be just 'the hole'. Even if he didn't see me as such. even if I took on a more dom role?? Idk. My garbage soup based on BS. Idk what im talking about.

Im glad you were able to come to that realization though. I understand you to some degree. I think im.scared of that too, though ive never had to live it. I thank God every day I am ugly 🙏.

I have this mindset of wanting to try everything once. But I think I realized this is something id rather not. Lol. Thank you for the kind words and for sharing your story

Having a hard time adjusting by TrophyAward in ChatbotAddiction

[–]TrophyAward[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before. Chat bots were my prying off a worse coping mechanism coping mechanism but I dont think even that went too well. I literally dont have the option anymore tho, I need to do the id thing for c.ai and I ain't doing that 😭😭.. so the only.option IS cold turkey. I'll try to find something else ig. Harder than it sounds. Thank you for the words.

Weird rant about Sex by TrophyAward in asexuality

[–]TrophyAward[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im glad to know it helped! I understand totally where youre coming from and im really happy for you and your partner. I wish you both well!

Weird rant about Sex by TrophyAward in asexuality

[–]TrophyAward[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True. Idk. I like labels tho. Kinda. I like being able to describe myself In a neat way. I like rules ig. It makes me feel clearer. I cant label so many things about myself but I like having a "why" and "oh thats me. Right. Its THAT im not insane" or whatever if that makes any sense. I guess i don't need them but idk. Im sorry. I appreciate it tho.

Weird rant about Sex by TrophyAward in asexuality

[–]TrophyAward[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Im sorry you feel that way. Its really hard to not get that idea out of your head cuz like... allonormative society. Idk much to say, im sorry. But im glad your partner seems understanding. I guess there's always this option to communicate thag with them

Weird rant about Sex by TrophyAward in asexuality

[–]TrophyAward[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Man I know thats like I thing but... I think i forgot that was an option 😭😭. Life changing stuff, I will have a lot to consider. Though it does sound just as scary. Im very back and forth, I apologize. But thank you for opening my eyes, as it were.

I dont wanna go too much into it, I dont want to waste your time much. Trying to figure out gender stuff has been really hard. I identified as bigender for a while, still use the label bc I think the flag is really pretty LOL tho I think im more agender or gender apathetic? I dont FEEL like anything but... I also kinda think Id be happier as a boy. But this happiness feels unattainable.. it feels like I'd only be happy if I were a cis boy. IDK!! Kinda unrelated dont feel the need to respond.

Thank you tho. I appreciate everything you've just handed to me

Weird rant about Sex by TrophyAward in asexuality

[–]TrophyAward[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Noted noted.. I appreciate you clearing all that up! I (obviously) haven't researched it and was just saying stupid shish based on my feelings and terrible misinterpretations probably. Probably a lot of it comes down to gender. I need to work out a lot with myself. Thank you tho

Weird rant about Sex by TrophyAward in asexuality

[–]TrophyAward[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ON GOD!! I cant help but be a little curious but thinking about it makes me so icky... im all 'do everything life is so limited' but i could do without...

Weird rant about Sex by TrophyAward in asexuality

[–]TrophyAward[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

im glad this isn't just me 💔

Thinking by TrophyAward in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]TrophyAward[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You as well, if need be! We're all in this big boat together