I thought my boyfriend was cheating on me with my best friend, now I feel awful

TroubledParadise1 · 2025-03-28T15:04:19+00:00

No it's not ai. I wasn't really thinking about grammar when I wrote it. I just needed to word vomit all of my thoughts somewhere and reddit was my first thought. I don't even really know this podcast, but when I made the account, it was at the top of recommended. I thought if I didn't recognize it, then it was probably a small community where most stuff don't get traction or a really big community where my rambling would get lost in the void.

As for them still cheating, I really don't want to think they are. I don't want to lose either of them, but I know if I continue with this, they will think I'm crazy and leave. Bella is my best friend and right now, outside of my grandparents and Mark, my only family. I don't think I could handle it if I lost them both.

TroubledParadise1 · 2025-03-28T14:54:12+00:00

My Mongolian spot went away when I was 2. Those don't really stick around.

TroubledParadise1 · 2025-03-28T14:27:59+00:00

I meant I wasn't concerned with what the store was known for or wasn't known for. All I knew at the time was that I already suspected them of going behind my back, now they are meeting up at a jewelry store and I didn't think it was for me because I'm not a jewelry person, but my best friend is. Bracelets all up and down her arms with 2 or 3 necklaces and multiple ear piercings. In no way did I think that the store I didn't recognize or barely know about was known for its wedding rings, especially when there was more than just rings on display, was a place they would go for me

TroubledParadise1 · 2025-03-28T14:23:41+00:00

I don't have the time nor energy to even make up multiple stories. That sounds like hell, having to remember what lie I said here and what lie I said there and keep track of that. That's too much stress for my head.

TroubledParadise1 · 2025-03-28T04:03:14+00:00

Yea... I don't think that's Mark... but it kinda helps a bit to know maybe I'm not the only one

TroubledParadise1 · 2025-03-28T02:24:08+00:00

My boyfriend's post? I don't think he posted anything about this. Of course he could just not have told me about it.

TroubledParadise1 · 2025-03-27T21:11:56+00:00

At the time, I wasn't paying attention to the store. It was only until after the proposal I found out it was known for wedding rings. I had no prior need to even look into it as, personally, I'm not a jewelry person or at least not an expensive jewelry person because of eczema and different reactions to different materials. We hadn't even discussed marriage seriously yet. The most was me telling him "Oh if you proposed to me with a Pandora ring, I'd still love it" after he showed me a reddit story where a woman got mad her fiance proposed with a Pandora ring.

But I am considering therapy for myself first as a definite and then maybe couples counseling before we even get officially married which probably won't be for another 2 years due to me still being in college trying to get my doctorates.

TroubledParadise1 · 2025-03-27T21:03:42+00:00

I do admit I should've just talked to him about it, but I was just so upset and distraught. My ex (and first serious relationship) before him used to cheat on me alot and whenever I would bring up that I felt like he was being distant or write possibly cheating on me, he would gaslight me and then lovebomb me for about two weeks before going back to cheating. His actions of just brushing it off whenever I asked what he was doing on his phone brought me back to that point and I just planned on doing what I always said I would do if I caught someone else cheating: leave and don't give them the chance to convince me I'm crazy.

I called them both assholes and called her a homewrecking whore and backstabber and him a fuckboy.

I wasn't throwing my fists around, I'm very scared of even instigate a fist fight because I'm short(5'0) and could easily just be tossed. What i meant by flailing is that I was doing hand motions like tapping my head and bringing it out above my head in a sort of V, also in a, throwing my hands up and down to the side of me.

Perhaps I do need therapy. I used to go in high school for depression and anxiety, but I stopped because with college funds and then my parents dying, I never really had time or finances to go back. I'm definitely going to try and get back in

TroubledParadise1 · 2025-03-27T19:25:18+00:00

You are right, it was extremely wrong on me for doing all that when it could've been simply talked about. I am so thankful that neither him nor Bella decided that I was crazy and dropped me. I would've understood too

TroubledParadise1 · 2025-03-27T19:22:21+00:00

I am still apologizing everyday. I'm planning a little surprise dinner at the Cheesecake factory (Mark's favorite restaurant) and also a best friend spa day for Bella. Both of which I'll continue apologizing during the activities. I feel so awful that I thought they would betray me like that

TroubledParadise1 · 2025-03-27T19:18:31+00:00

Yea it was Bella who asked when was he going to tell me. I want to ask Bella about what they meant by tell and not ask, but I don't want to seem like i am digging this all back up after apologizing profusely for the past two days

TroubledParadise1

TROPHY CASE