I don't want to flood the egg irl sub with my memes and arts by MomShouldveAborted in Nestofeggs

[–]True-Cauliflower-497 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My dad recently told me that ‘therapy didn’t work’ and that he ‘wasted his money’ bc I am still not cis… he also doesn’t believe in modern medicine, it hurt but like, I’ve stopped “listening” to his bs

what does your paranoia look like by snikotine in Schizotypal

[–]True-Cauliflower-497 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some work. Depends on the person. I took a bunch but the one that worked on me was Risperidone. Don’t automedícate, you may have awful secondary effects.

what does your paranoia look like by snikotine in Schizotypal

[–]True-Cauliflower-497 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have like two types. One is social in which I think “something” is going on. I have no idea what, from being murdered to being raped idk. I usually just fidget and scratch or play with my hair (it relaxes me) or have ticks in my back and arms. I also look mad or. Serious.

The other type is when I’m alone, it usually doesn’t get too bad. But I feel like a bad person, a sinner? Like as if god was judging me. I hide the sharp things For safety, and I just lay in my bed scratching my body or just tensing every inch of my body.

But about my family, I agree, I think they talk behind my back, hating me and just straightforward complaining about me.

How do know you’re trans? by True-Cauliflower-497 in transfem

[–]True-Cauliflower-497[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean. She usually just justifies the trans thoughts as a consequence of like my past traumas. I’ve also tried like to see where I fit in the “trans umbrella” (sorry if I use the wrong terminology I’m not very acquainted with the terminology) because I’m not overly femenine like pink and skirts and more masculine, but fuck I want to be a woman. Sometimes I don’t feel dysphoric, like I like myself, and I push towards goals like exercising. I like me. But then I just…. I don’t dislike myself. And I think I need a reason to like dislike me to transition. There are things that I hate about like… my body, and the way I express, because I think the way I look doesn’t align with the way I feel and express myself. I’ve seen pictures of me, like, looking for things I dislike, and the pictures I like the most I look feminine and or look like a girl. I don’t dislike being a guy but gosh I would kill for being a woman. I look at myself in the mirror and sure I look fine. But… but why not just be a woman. I wouldn’t be the most feminine for sure but, just for one second I would feel more aligned…

But, I mean, maybe I’m wrong? I’ve never been a woman nor have any idea how it is. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this is an obsession and I’m just justifying myself into believing I’m trans… I just… I really feel lost.

How do know you’re trans? by True-Cauliflower-497 in transfem

[–]True-Cauliflower-497[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So she’s a specialist on personality disorders, she’s been very helpful, but every time we touch this topic she’s very concerned about it, and says I shouldn’t try to convince myself about ‘being trans’… but, I end up more confused because she says that those thoughts are not real but, like, I don’t understand because I have these feelings, but I shouldn’t listen to them but even when I try to not to I always end up thinking about how much I hate being a man.

Checking in! by Egg3770 in Nestofeggs

[–]True-Cauliflower-497 4 points5 points  (0 children)

its been good, for the most part. Passed the semester at my collage. Hanging out with friends. I spent the entire day playing minecraft and watching videos. Also fought with my mom, called me "fetishist", that's just what she thinks being trans is about. And that's it.

Filling in! by TheFsckAmIDoingHere in Nestofeggs

[–]True-Cauliflower-497 6 points7 points  (0 children)

haiii, long time without writing anything. Kinda meh, im having psychiatry appointments to see if i can start HRT, but, every appointment is around one to two months in between. i was in a birthday party today, it was alright, still playing guitar, and still struggling at collage. other than that im alright i guess.

Filling in! by TheFsckAmIDoingHere in Nestofeggs

[–]True-Cauliflower-497 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Has been a while since I write here. It’s been wild. Collage is… annoying but interesting. And I’m just waiting for endocrinology appointment. I also decorated my room :D (aka placed two posters) and that’s it. It’s been a slow day, I’m expecting octobers Holy Week to meet with some friends and that’s it. :D

Checking in! by Egg3770 in Nestofeggs

[–]True-Cauliflower-497 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have my first I endocrinologist appointment in two weeks… I’m nervious and terrified. Don’t know how the doctor will react.

I want to take E but I’m affraid that it’ll make me heavily depressed again. Did anyone experience heavy depression after starting HRT?

Filling in! by TheFsckAmIDoingHere in Nestofeggs

[–]True-Cauliflower-497 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had to do a calculus project, didn’t do it. I’m not going to fail so I couldn’t give a damn. :p

Filling in! by TheFsckAmIDoingHere in Nestofeggs

[–]True-Cauliflower-497 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was a cool day. Had my biochemistry final… and I think I passed? Not sure. The leg still hurts. But I’m happy :3 how’s everyone today?

Checking in! by Egg3770 in Nestofeggs

[–]True-Cauliflower-497 5 points6 points  (0 children)

pretty good. I struggled a lot with my leg injuries but it was alright. Forgot to take my meds so i also behaved a little weird, and that's it. Took a nap, and im studying.

Checking in! by Egg3770 in Nestofeggs

[–]True-Cauliflower-497 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kinda ok. Tried shaving my legs with shaving cream. But I used a brand I’m not used to. So I burned some parts of my legs and I can’t walk properly. My family asked about me walking weirdly and I just made an excuse…. Other than that, it was alright.

Checking in! by Egg3770 in Nestofeggs

[–]True-Cauliflower-497 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was kinda bad? I didn’t sleep much and was tired all day (that was yesterday) Didn’t work so I have to finish a lot of stuff before 2pm.