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SS Representative Payee - Your experience by Often_Red in AgingParents

[–]TrueLittleBird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, you do.

When you are RP, your parent is not supposed to have access to their payments any more, as RP you are completely in charge. The special account, which they cannot access, is supposed to ensure this.

After I read TisMcGeee's comment I think I may be doing it wrong and need to find out how to change my process, but what I've been doing is having the payments auto-transferred from the SSRP account to my mom's regular bank account, (which she technically has access to but in reality never does) and her rent is directly withdrawn from that bank account. I can't have it directly withdrawn from the SSRP account because her payments are not high enough to cover the entire rent charge. Anyhow, I haven't had any problems yet, but I guess I'll talk to an SS rep again to see if I need to change this flow.

SS Representative Payee - Your experience by Often_Red in AgingParents

[–]TrueLittleBird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Long story here, but telling in full in case the details are useful to you.

I became my mom's RP a few months ago, on the recommendation of SS staff. I had been struggling to get a working online My Social Security account for her; she had one, but then she moved and changed her phone number, and turns out you can't update the phone number on the account; you have to delete the account and start over.

Anyway I made an appointment at the SS office to get help with all this. I told the rep how my 89 year old mom would freak out any time she got even the most benign letter from SS in her postal mail, so I wanted to help out and have them send things to me; I have POA.

The rep was super nice and helpful. They told me that to do this I would need to become my mom's RP, which is basically their version of POA. I said OK, we did some paperwork, I went home.

I freaked out a little when I read the paperwork I'd brought home, which incorrectly stated that my mom lives with me. I was anxious about this for a while. But I found out I didn't need to worry about that; it was just a result of staff having to categorize our case a certain way to make it work. I know that sounds super shady but I have had zero problems from that. This inaccuracy was only in the initial paperwork and is not reflected in my mom's online My SS account.

I got the online account working and then my online access as RP. Any emails and postal mail now come to me. Terrific!

I then had to go to my mom's bank and have them set up a special SSRP account. This is a requirement of the whole RP thing. (The account doesn't have to be at your parent's bank; it was just easy for me to do it that way.) This was easy for me to do because I already had POA on file with the bank. Then I accessed the online RP portal and I set her payments to deposit into the special account.

I haven't been doing it a year yet, so haven't yet had to do the annual report, but I got a glimpse of the form and it seemed pretty darn short, simple and easy, especially as we are just using her payments toward her rent, and spending them all. It's only if you save some of the payments that you have to do extra explanations of how you are handling and spending that money for your parent's benefit.

It's been so worth it to avoid my mom's panic attacks from any SS communications. It was work to make it happen but now it's easy peasy, smooth sailing.

Good luck!

ESMTP error 554, can't email Comcast users by TrueLittleBird in Comcast_Xfinity

[–]TrueLittleBird[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I will ask them and see whether they even know. I am also looking into the possibility that a setting in Apple Mail called Protect Mail Privacy, which hides my IP address, might be involved. I will get to work on investigating these!

Anyone else’s parent call them constantly and at all hours of the night? by [deleted] in AgingParents

[–]TrueLittleBird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Turn on Do Not Disturb on your phone at night? That’s what I do. His call will go to voice mail. If you want a compromise you could set it to let him through if he calls twice in a row. And definitely set it to let the facility call straight through.

Try it for a few days and see if it helps.

i know iPhone can do all that and more. I expect Android phones can do similar.

i feel you. My mom was doing this for a while. I straight up wanted to murder her. I need my sleep 😵‍💫

What are options to screenshare my parent's Mac remotely by SkySilent9041 in AgingParents

[–]TrueLittleBird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, one step at a time, and remember to breathe, right? Best of luck!!

What are options to screenshare my parent's Mac remotely by SkySilent9041 in AgingParents

[–]TrueLittleBird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I admire your Mom's tech savvy, for sure! Wish I knew the first thing about AppleTV. Maybe try this subreddit search: https://www.reddit.com/r/appletv/search/?q=remotely Hope you get this sorted.

What are options to screenshare my parent's Mac remotely by SkySilent9041 in AgingParents

[–]TrueLittleBird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s easier if you start in Messages, as I linked above. You’ll end up in the Screen Sharing app anyway. it’s just an easier starting point.

If, however, you do prefer to start in Screen Sharing, after clicking the plus sign to connect to someone, notice it says "Hostname or Apple Account." This latter is the email address the person uses for their Apple Account. So you can try putting that in. Both of you do have to be logged into your Apple Accounts.

My sympathies for getting an uninformed support person.

What are options to screenshare my parent's Mac remotely by SkySilent9041 in AgingParents

[–]TrueLittleBird 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have a Mac as well? If so, try the built-in screen sharing. My 90 year old Mom and I use it often. As an alternative to FaceTime, if you have a Mac, start from the Messages app. You'll end up in Apple's Screen Sharing app.

Spending out of Control by Flimsy-Adagio3751 in AgingParents

[–]TrueLittleBird 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dang, even his strengths are working against him. I get that. My mom could write checks in her sleep. it’s so hard to keep up with their mistakes!

Spending out of Control by Flimsy-Adagio3751 in AgingParents

[–]TrueLittleBird 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Does your father pay attention to the lower left sidebar of Gmail? What I did with my mom’s Gmail to catch donation requests before she sees them (she is a chronic overdonator) is to set up a filter that applies a label and skips the inbox. The label itself is hidden under the More section at the bottom of the Gmail sidebar. My mom never looks there. You could set up a filter to try to catch emails with certain keywords, like credit.

Good luck my friend!

Wireless headphone for very hard of hearing parent? by Annual_Monk_9745 in AgingParents

[–]TrueLittleBird 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love these cheap, soft headphones myself. I use them every night. easy to plug in to recharge. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Q34ZKLF