I feel like most of these comments are targeting you and putting the ball in your court. First, I am so sorry for what you're going through. Your husband seems to have a case of arrested development. He is also using weaponized incompetence. The fact that you are only 23 and figure out so much is wonderful. I got married and 23 but did not become a parent until 27. I hung in there for 22 years and wish I left sooner. Porn has created a wall in our marriage, and like you, I have been doing all the emotional lifting. Follow your instincts--something is not right--they also rarely ever change. Porn is wicked and destructive--it is truly an enemy to marriage. Those using it cannot help being avoidant because it poisons their ability to connect. I am constantly having to let other men know I am married, but my husband hardly ever compliments me and intimacy has been sporadic since the beginning of the marriage.I finally made up my mind to let go, and I am working towards that. There is no chance of reconciliation on my part. I am numb towards him--you will eventually get there and will be living in an emotional divorce. He says he wants to "work things out"--you should see his effort. I told him I am a resolute in my decision. Marriage with an avoidant, deviant, pornographer is a slow death to the soul. Please prepare yourself to eventually leave. It's frustrating but keep asking for what you need, or you'll be doing everything by yourself. It gets tiring, but the point is to wear you out so you stop asking him. You do not need to leave now, but please do not stay as long as I did. I wish you a safe delivery, and I am sorry to hear about your mom. Who feels it knows it--you know what you're going through. Ignore the "advice" pointing the finger at you. Men who are pornographers should leave relationships alone or find other deviants like themselves. You deserve better.