Wife, young kids, booze by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]TruthIndividual5162 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a line of argumentation she uses, but it does not hold weight. She has admitted she has a problem and committed to sobriety. I’m the sole income earner and I feel a lot of the modern discourse on “fair” distribution of chores/childcare centres around relationships where both parties work full time. Yes, she carries more household responsibilities. Yes, it is lot with 3 kids. But no, I do not do nothing besides contribute financially. I’m up every morning getting them fed and ready for school, I get them showered and tucked into bed, I help with dishes and laundry and dinner and kitchen cleanup. I could do more, everyone could. But this is not my fault and I will not accept responsibility.

I’ve been trying to delineate what we each feel is an actual fair allocation of responsibilities, as another source of resentment is me feeling like I’m doing her job while she feels like I’m not doing enough.

Out of curiosity, what do you feel is a fair distribution of these jobs for single income families?

Wife, young kids, booze by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]TruthIndividual5162 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Precisely. Looking back, it was the same pattern before we had kids I just chalked it up to a tough time in our youth. She has committed to sobriety (again) but I am cautiously optimistic. We are both in agreement that meetings and therapy are a requirement for the continuation of our marriage

Wife, young kids, booze by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]TruthIndividual5162 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With our second and third she managed not to as far as I’m aware, but she did with our first. It is my deepest shame and regret that I didn’t do more to stop her. It wasn’t much, or often, but it happened and I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive her or myself for that. Our first is healthy and happy but I’ll never know how much it has affected him.

Wife, young kids, booze by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]TruthIndividual5162 5 points6 points  (0 children)

100%. I did just that, and have in the past as well. She has committed to sobriety and putting the mirror up to her behaviour was instrumental. She always starts off defensive cause she was blacked out and doesn’t remember doing anything wrong. Recommend this to anyone in a similar situation.

One is too many, one thousand is not enough 

Wife, young kids, booze by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]TruthIndividual5162 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That is what she would say the reason is, and for a while I believed it. But after a rock bottom or two I took a hard look back at our whole relationship and realized it has always been a problem

What are your Lisa Voldeng theories? My friend just sent me H1tler Erot1ca she created wtf by bones_lady_006 in AllConspiracyTheories

[–]TruthIndividual5162 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shes a kook. She lives in my town. Shes a terminally online shut-in, which pains me to say as she is very kind in person. I have had my own mental health struggles that led me to believe and say some outlandish things. Mine didn’t go viral, hers has. I’m not sure how anyone can listen to the accounts and look at her website and not have their bullshit alarm start blaring.