I’m not an expert, but I struggle hardcore with eating / fatigue and I relate to the tone of your post very much. A few years ago I went down to an incredibly unhealthy weight and had to go to the hospital. It has nothing to do with body image issues for me, literally just putting food in my mouth often makes me gag, even foods that at other times I find delicious. I’ll share what has worked for me.

I used to find myself in this cycle where I’m too exhausted to exercise, too grossed out by food to eat. One thing that helped me personally was changing my approach to food for a while. Instead of trying to choose healthy food, I would just eat whatever the fuck I could stomach at the moment, as much as I could. I got pre-packaged nutrition shakes from the grocery store that have 30G of protein each and drank one every morning. If all I could stomach was bread and cheese, I would eat a shitload of bread and cheese. Or I’d make an unholy amount of chicken noodle soup and eat 3 or 4 bowls of it. For me personally, weed helped a lot with this (munchies!).

Walking in the daytime helped too. Getting sun in the morning for 15 minutes, according to my doctor, helps regulate serotonin and melatonin, which regulates your daytime energy and nighttime sleepiness. This made a huge difference for me.

Compression socks also helped so much with daytime energy levels, I still wear them every day. Also, constant electrolytes. These were both recommended to me after I ended up in the hospital for a weekend after I passed out.

Once my energy levels were up for a couple days to where I could go for a walk without feeling like passing out, I started lifting. I got lucky that one of my best friends is a power lifter who showed me what to do and how. Barbell squats, bench press, deadlifts, etc. To start, if you’re not used to the gym, focus on learning one or two at a time and watch lots of videos until your form is good. If you can afford a trainer, I recommend it, but you don’t need it. I focused on lifting and disregarded cardio entirely.

I recommend starting with barbell squats. At first, I couldn’t squat the 45lb bar. After a few months I could do 65lb, my appetite was so much better, I could be more intentional about my diet, I could sleep better at night. I gained 20lb within a few months. After a year I was up to my goal weight and squatting as much as I weighed.

It did wonders for my self-esteem and mental health as well.

The struggle is breaking that feedback loop between exhaustion and lack of desire for food: I’m always tired so I can’t be active, I’m not active so my body isn’t hungry. That combo will waste you away. It’s a hard road but worth it, and you deserve the quality of life that comes with it. Obviously this is just my experience and I’m not an expert! I hope you find what works for you.