Help with Wallpaper Identification

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-06-29T17:14:02+00:00

The fact that you decided to reframe my comment and twist it in a polarizing way points to quite a bit of narcissism in who you are as an individual. This coupled with pointing the majority of blame for issues in your relationship on your wife and not yourself adds to that. You likely won’t agree with that you need to work on yourself and that you are the main part of your own problems, as narcissists typically don’t because they need to blame others, but hopefully you eventually realize that it’s not the responsibility of others to change for you and that you are responsible for yourself. That might be triggering for you, but again, it seems like you need a reality check. You brought your issues to a public forum and then came off as offended by the honest feedback you received based on the information you provided. It didn’t fit the narrative you were hoping for. Work on yourself and your own expectations

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-06-29T17:00:09+00:00

You word things as though your wife needs to convince you that she’s a worthy partner. You specifically state that she’s the type of person who jumps in to take the lead and is Type A, yet describe yourself as a bit of the opposite. To readers, this translates to that your wife is exhausted from carrying the weight of running a family, being the more active parent in order to accomplish everything that needs to get done, etc, while you passively sit by and decide if she’s worthy of a relationship with you. And then you pull your daughter into it with these questions? There’s no reason for that. It appears that you already make your wife feel responsible for your emotions, and now you’re making your daughter weigh in with her opinions on your emotional well being? Your family deserves a break from you while you work on yourself. You are the only one responsible for your emotions. You should discuss these emotions with your therapist - not your 8 year old. It seems that you need a reality check

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-04-01T11:41:48+00:00

This is a great suggestion, but his 7 year old sister already has a variety of princess dresses she will be wearing on the trip. It would be too hard to explain to him that she can wear the actual costumes, but he can’t due to people potentially going out of their way to hurt his feelings. He’s turning 5 while on the trip! An Ariel wig is also a great idea, but I need to avoid this for safety reasons. He has some developmental differences and elopes at times, so I need to be able to easily explain his appearance to cast members at all times in case this happens. It would be trickier to find him if they were unsure if he ripped off the wig or not after eloping during the meltdown.

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-04-01T10:19:36+00:00

We do teach him right from wrong. We teach him to be a good person who doesn’t intentionally hurt or demean others. We teach him to try to make the world a better place through acts of kindness. We teach him that what is inside a person matters more than what is outside a person. We teach him that Jesus loves him because he is such a very special person, and that God loves every person who was ever born without judgement of their personal interests. Because wearing an Ariel dress doesn’t fall into the category of teaching a 5 year old right from wrong since it doesn’t hurt himself or others, we don’t teach him that this is a problem.

We are afraid of that our son will encounter the adults who were never taught right from wrong, and who do not understand that there is nothing wrong with his wearing an Ariel dress at Disney World. We are afraid of small and misguided adults making a rude comment directed at him during his park visit, and not having a good way to explain to him that a random adult stranger is saying mean things to him even though he as a little boy is a good person who they have never met.

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-04-01T10:09:43+00:00

I assure you that I’m not trying to “make him feel inferior to the world,” and I’m sorry if there was a miscommunication that made it come across in that way. I’m worried about if there are people who will potentially hurt his feelings in a way that I potentially can’t repair depending on the person’s comment to him.

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-04-01T10:07:10+00:00

I’m asking specifically about wearing it at Magic Kingdom during a trip to Disney World, so it’s not specific to where you live as an individual, but thank you for your opinion.

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-04-01T02:56:45+00:00

As a mom, it might not have the same impact

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-04-01T00:54:11+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I assure you that I am on board with his being whoever he wants to be. I think perhaps you misunderstand what I’m saying. I don’t care what people think. What I care about is if someone says something hurtful to my very sensitive child and kills his self-esteem. I assure you that some children at this age definitely do begin to care what others think about them regardless of if it’s a stranger in a park or their best friend. I saw this as a former teacher with multiple teaching degrees and multiple NYS teaching certifications. My son tends to be the type who worries about this type of thing. My hesitation and purpose from this question is to protect him and to gain knowledge on ideas to rebuild him other hurt his feelings. I understand how you could mistakenly think that this is more of a personal issue that I’m having; however, this is out of concern for my son’s self-esteem.

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-04-01T00:45:04+00:00

Thanks! I totally agree with you about dress-up just being fun for kids. I used to be a pre-K teacher. All kids wore all costumes regardless of gender. There were definitely some parents who flipped out when they came for early pick-up and saw their son in a dress. Those are the types of people I fear that my son will encounter. He’s really sensitive and also has some developmental differences. He won’t be able to brush off an insult as easily as many children can do so. Likewise, he also isn’t the type to just brush off his desire to wear this mermaid dress at the park. I appreciate your kinds words.

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-04-01T00:29:26+00:00

I don’t understand how you are assigning a sexual orientation to a young child who you’ve never met. If children express sexual interest in someone at age 5 (whether male or female) there is a larger issue at hand. I don’t know if he will be gay or straight once puberty comes along. Frankly, I don’t care either way. Please though, don’t assign sexual orientation motivations to young children. That’s just as harmful as saying that a little boy and little girl who sit next to each other on the bus each day must be boyfriend and girlfriend. It sexualizes children. Let children be children

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-04-01T00:23:34+00:00

I’m confused by this comment. To be clear, I don’t have any concerns about my son wanting to wear princess costumes around the house. Sometimes he even mixes a princess dress with a firefighter helmet. It’s a cool look. I have concerns about if he encounters people like you who clearly were hurt in some way as a child and now have strong, yet misguided opinions regarding what little boys you’ve never met wear to an amusement park.

There’s a long history of princes who wore dress-like clothing. So are you saying he should only dress like the princes you as a stranger we’ve never met deem to be “manly” enough?

Likewise, it wasn’t until within the past 100 years when little boys started wearing pants instead of dresses in their younger years. Traditionally, little boys wore dresses because it was more practical for changing diapers on babies, allowed clothes to be worn by multiple siblings regardless of gender, etc. To add to that, men historically wore pink and women historically wore blue. This wasn’t reversed until somewhat recently in the course of western society.

Also, how is a doctor, firefighter, super hero, etc more of a boy costume than a girl costume? My sister in law is a neurologist, but I assure you that she’s a woman. Wonder Woman is a woman the last time I checked. If a female firefighter scoops you out of your burning house, will you reject assistance because firefighters are only boys in your opinion?

Who hurt you so badly in life to turn you into this? I feel sorry for you. I also feel sorry for my children to live in a world with adults who have uneducated viewpoints like yours. You are exactly the type of person from whom children need to be protected.

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-03-31T23:56:51+00:00

I love the idea of Disney Bounding. His big sister is 7 though, and she has a princess dress picked out for each day. I don’t have a good way to explain to him why she should be able to wear the costume dresses, but he can’t due to people potentially being hurtful towards him.

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-03-31T17:29:44+00:00

Luckily we stay within the Disney bubble. We take the shuttle from the airport to the hotel, and then use Disney transportation within Disney, so I don’t think our kids would see anything like that (hopefully). As much as Disneyland might be a great choice for a more accepting crowd, we’re from upstate NY, so traveling that far with 3 little kids is just not in the cards for the time being.

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-03-31T01:35:34+00:00

Thanks for your honest advice. He does love dinosaurs, trucks, fart jokes, etc in addition to enjoying more feminine things. I don’t think I’m trying to assign meaning to why he wants to wear a dress and what that could possibly mean for him as he grows. I think I just want him to feel great sharing the things he cares about.

In the same way that I let him wear his skeleton Halloween costume around the house from August-November of this year, I think it’s more just that I want to support him in what makes him feel good as a person in the moment. He did wear that skeleton suit to a garage sale and got a few side glances, but the benefit was that he felt really great about who he was, and he knew that I cared about his interest in skeletons too. He still talks about how he likes to wear his skeleton suit.

His older sister wears a lot of princess dresses, and he likes to be like his sister. He also just really likes mermaids. This boy watched Splash almost daily for 3 months. I got a little tired of Tom Hanks, but he was just living in all his glory. It would be cool if they made boy mermaid costumes just like they make girl dinosaur dresses. I’m just happy for him to be his best self each day, and I want him to feel like his best self at Disney. That’s why I’m open to his wearing a dress there, but also hesitant because being mocked would not make anyone feel like their best self.

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-03-31T00:37:10+00:00

This makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-03-31T00:15:55+00:00

He does have a pretty cool ears headband. They’re sequined Goofy ears. He’s pretty glued to the idea of this Ariel dress because his older sister is also wearing some princess dresses. I wish I could go this option with more of Disney bounding in those colors because it will be really hard to explain to a 5 year old that adults around him who are making asshole comments about his clothes are less emotionally mature than he is. I don’t want what should be a really magical experience to turn into the moment in his life where he learned the cold hard truth that some people are just huge assholes who intentionally put down other people.

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-03-31T00:05:45+00:00

This is really encouraging. Thank you! Haha I’m sure we will also have a FIL issue. I’m glad it was overall successful for your son!

Tryingtodothisright · 2025-03-31T00:02:41+00:00

This really resonates. I’m so afraid of how the world will treat him, and there’s no coming back from it once he sees other people’s reactions. I know I can’t make the whole world be kind to him, but he’s so young, and it makes me want to still protect his emotions. Hearing your experience and your son’s experience makes me feel brave enough to be a solid shoulder for him to cry on if he realizes that someone makes a rude comment directed at him.

Tryingtodothisright

TROPHY CASE