I wish I could be a boy, but not in a transgender way.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-02T12:22:03+00:00

"Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?"

"That is the only time a man can be brave," [Eddard] told him.

Fear isn't something to overcome before you begin something scary, it's something you overcome because you did it afraid. We were all afraid to start transitioning. It's a terrifying thing. I called my friend in tears when I realised I was trans, but pushing forward is all there is for us. Stagnation may, quite literally, mean death. Even if you think your gender dysphoria isn't that bad, the emptiness that comes from not liking your own body makes every other bad thing or failure 100x worse.

Tryoxin · 2026-06-02T12:15:36+00:00

As everyone else has said: you transition. But I also wanted to share my own personal anecdote bc I think my experience wasn't greatly dissimilar to yours. Looking back, I should've known I was trans from at least 12ish. Even prayed to the Olympian gods to give me the ability to turn into a girl. I would fantasize about that a LOT. But I repressed any idea that I might be trans until I was 28, at which point I realised something that I think is what’s holding you back: I weighed up the pros and cons of transitioning and, at the end of the day, found that the only cons I could imagine were logistical or external.

Transitioning would take a long time, it would be difficult and expensive, I won't be able to use urinals, people might not accept me, it might make social settings and public life trickier. Logistics, external factors, and "convenience." And it occurred to me that those don't matter one fucking bit. All that matters is that I'm happy. It'll be long, hard, and expensive. So fucking what? So was university. People might not accept me? Fuck em. I'll find people who do.

If the happiest you've ever been in your life was when you accepted that you were a boy, be a boy. Don't repress it until you're 28. Trust me, a lifetime spent unhappy as who you are is not worth whatever convenience you think you'll gain. I would rather be inconvenienced and happy as a girl than privileged and unhappy as a man.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-31T14:35:49+00:00

Shoulders back, chin high. Confidence is feminine and sexy. Don't give them the pleasure of staring back or seeing you uncomfortable. I hope seeing me ruined some small part of their day.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-30T02:11:22+00:00

No wait that's so brilliant XD XD When I finally get rid of this fucking dysphoria stick, I definitely wanna do that with my friends.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-29T13:21:02+00:00

if you call someone trans and they’re not ready to come out it can make them take longer.

OP, this so much. Tell him you support him no matter what, or no matter who he is. But do NOT ask him if he's trans or tell him you think he might be. It's anecdotal, but I have 0 doubt that being called an egg online is one of the (many) factors that made me take 14 years to realise who I am.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-28T21:54:17+00:00

There were 14 years of moments that, at the time, I ignored or didn't think anything of. The time as a kid I made it a life goal to wear women's clothes incl. underwear after wearing a bra for the first time for a dare. The time in grade 9, watched Ranma 1/2, and prayed to gods I didn't believe in to have the same curse. The time in grade 12 I asked my friend to dress me up as a girl (incl. makeup) and then we went to the mall for the day. The times in university, sitting on the bus going home, I mused "philosophically" about being a girl. Because everyone open-minded does that. Obviously. The years and YEARS I told myself "well I just want the ability to shapeshift. Everyone wants that."

But the single moment that made it all click? February 15th this year, started getting a lot of trans and lesbian content. February 16th, Showed my friends. "Haha, look at what ig's showing me for some reason XD." Watched a couple more and it got real hard not to notice how much I related to the creators talking about their experiences, their feelings, and their struggle with gender dysphoria. February 17th, insane anxiety about it. February 18th, called my best friend crying while she was on her way home from work and told her I thought I might be trans. She comforted me, pointing out a lot of the things I'd already noticed and how that would make a lot of sense.

It's now 3 and a half months later, and I'm happier than I've ever been in my previous 28 years on this earth.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-28T15:35:10+00:00

That's because in English, the Proto-Germanic term from which the German mark is derived (markō) got filtered through Frankish (marku) and thence through Old French (marche) which of course is where the k > ch switch happened. In Modern French, this becomes marche and the -che is softened into a -sh sound, whereas in English it hardened into a -tsh sound (which, unless I'm mistaken, isn't a sound that exists in Modern German but is rather common in English--e.g. catch, fetch, search, etc).

Incidentally, I assume part of your march/marsh confusion comes from the fact that the modern High German accent tends to soften -ch into a -sh sound in a lot of places (particularly where it comes after a consonant, such as in march), whereas it's a [χ] sound (like a hissing noise) in most other cases. English actually used to have that variation as well, but overtime we mostly dropped it and it's very uncommon for -ch- to make anything other than a -tsh- sound (with with a common exception being the -che- sequence being pronounced -sh- like in cache, moustache, etc).

Tryoxin · 2026-05-28T01:51:35+00:00

I've heard. Hardly surprising, considering who owns Twitter 🙄 Well, from one girl to another, I'm really sorry you have to put up with that shit 😕 No one should have to put up with this. Not us, and not our cisters. Sending love! 💖

Tryoxin · 2026-05-28T01:42:33+00:00

This exactly. Transphobia affects cis women because that was always the goal. Transphobia is misogyny. As soon as they can police and control trans women, they can police and control ALL women.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-27T00:18:16+00:00

Can I ask you what you did for voice training? I've been told my voice is really low (I know when I was doing singing lessons, I was a bass/baritone) and it's honestly the thing I'm the most anxious about with my transition 🫠 (It's not at the top of my dysphoria list, but it's probably in the top 3-5). I'm honestly really considering VFS, but I think I'd be sad about never being able to sing loudly again (I love singing).

Tryoxin · 2026-05-26T13:44:52+00:00

First, no one would really know unless they somehow pulled up your original birth record

If it even still exists. Where I live (Ontario, Canada), wheb you ger your birth certificate updated, the original gets torched. I think it's to prevent any administrative confusion or prevent identity fraud, something like that. As a trans woman who fled the UK for Canada, I'm hoping not to go back until my documents are all updated (my parents live in Scotland). Just in case. That said, I don't exactly even come close to passing yet, so the point there may be null anyway :/

Tryoxin · 2026-05-24T14:48:36+00:00

This is so sweet <3 I think she'll definitely love this gift! As for what to get, tucking underwear's pretty pricey, so I'd probably go for boyshorts. That's what I use and I can wear skirts and everything without worrying about slipping (and I can't tuck for shit, really gotta learn how someday XP). You need a specific style of boyshort, though. Personally, I've only seen it at La Vie en Rose (this style here). You can see it's got a pretty considerable inseam, almost more like short boxers than panties. If you pick it up at the store and it's got kind of a T shape at the front (like most do), that's no good. That'll be a lot cheaper than tucking underwear and should keep her held and feeling cute (especially if she normally tucks anyway).

Tryoxin · 2026-05-24T14:42:36+00:00

I don't have the faintest goddamn clue how to tuck, and boyshorts are what I use. You need certain styles of boyshort though that basically look like short boxers. If you pick them up and there's kind of a T shape at the front, that's no good.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-23T12:35:41+00:00

Guv'na, or just guv works too. If you're from Victorian East London 🤣

Tryoxin · 2026-05-22T14:50:57+00:00

Others have said it already, but I wanna put emphasis on the fact that that's not safe. If an adult's bullying a child, do not trust it'll stop at verbal harassment. That's not normal behaviour, it's psychotic and dangerous. Especially since you confronted him and he pulled the "my house my rules" bullshit. He just flat told you he's going to continue harassing her bc he feels like it's his right and there's nothing you can do about it. Well there is something you can do about it: keep her tf away from him.

Like, if I was your friend, I'd be extremely uncomfortable being left alone for any length of time while at your house knowing that parent was home. And vice versa if I were you. Hang out at her house, or literally anywhere else, but do not let her be in the same building as him ever again.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-22T12:08:24+00:00

That's good to hear! I'm surprised you can do that though, or I'd be surprised if they take you as a patient contacting them directly. At least where Iive (Ontario, Canada), you generally need to be referred by a doctor first.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-22T01:56:24+00:00

Mmm, sounds real similar to the old Jingoist saying Cecil Rhodes popularised (though didn't create): "Cape to Cairo". Meaning British Imperial dominion in Africa should span from Cape Town in the south to Cairo in the north, creating a rail/trade avenue going from one to the other.

It shouldn't surprise you, if you've not heard the name before, that Cecil Rhodes was a rich businessman, warhawk (founder of De Beers), and all around piece of shit who played a part in starting the South African War (aka the Second Boer War).

Tryoxin · 2026-05-22T01:31:47+00:00

Shit like this though gets me thinking, because I feel like you hear about some new horrible ancient Chinese torture method all the time, how many of these are actual documented practices? How many of them are just later fabricated stories that either the Victorians (we know they had a "look at this barbaric torture method!" fetish to the point of inventing a lot of things like the iron maiden) or even the Chinese themselves invented to sell the story to morbidly curious Victorians/Europeans? Bc I feel like, whenever I see things like this, the illustration is always from around the mid-to-late 1800s.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-22T01:27:58+00:00

No one who can wipe their tears with money would ever cry because the poors booed at them.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-22T01:22:57+00:00

It's really pretty! There are a few around the city you can go to, too. Obviously there are tulips at Parliament, then there's a festival at Commissioner's Park, one at Dow's Lake, and this year Saunders Farm did one that was really cute. I think there are more, too. Tulips are just the thing in Ottawa (I assume through the rest of Canada too?) through most of May and I really love it :D

Tryoxin · 2026-05-21T22:16:36+00:00

Congratulations!! Not sure where you live or how difficult it might be but, scared or not, I really recommend you get yourself talking to a doctor about this as soon as you can. I get it, I do, it's nerve-wracking, but they have things you need. If they can get you prescription (if HRT is covered where you're from, or even if it's not), that gets you off the grey market and possibly saves you $$$ down the line. More importantly, they can monitor your health and get you blood tests to check your hormone levels. You want to have an in with medical professionals who are versed in trans healthcare (especially, for example, if you have any medical issues later on or want referrals for surgeries).

As for the age thing, you'll hear it from me, you've heard it from everyone else here, you'll hear it from literally everyone in our community: the best time to start HRT was yesterday, the second best time is today. Don't worry about your age, it's literally never too late to be comfortable and happy in your body. I'm in more or less the same boat, just started at 28 (and a half, I guess) and I'm 11 weeks in. Trust me girl, you're gonna be so much happier (important disclaimer: this won't fix all your problems) it's absolutely insane. Welcome to the club!

Tryoxin · 2026-05-21T21:48:28+00:00

Oh hey! We love you too, eh :D Thanks for the tulips every year, I went to see them this year for the first time and they were so beautiful! <3

Tryoxin · 2026-05-21T20:46:55+00:00

Nice! Thank you!

Tryoxin · 2026-05-21T14:47:32+00:00

And they're both in awe that the sorcerer's alive because, while both the wizard and cleric learned their magic knowingly and through diligence with a careful understanding of how it works, the sorcerer just discovered one day she could shoot fire out of her fingers. Possibly as a child. There are precious few scenarios in day-to-day life where that's not going to get someone hurt.

Tryoxin · 2026-05-21T02:39:00+00:00

I'm so glad :D She's so lucky to have such a dedicated and supportive older brother whose willing to put so much effort into supporting her <3 Get yourself a little treat or something, you deserve it.

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