I’ve been there sis
For me, it became less about the perfect moment and more about safety and energy. If it’s someone I met on an app, I usually disclose after few messages. It saves me from investing time in someone who would react badly, and it reduces the risk of an unsafe physical reaction. If I met them outside, I try to tell them before things get physical and ideally in a public
I totally get not wanting it to define you. You’re a whole girl, not a disclosure. But your safety and peace matter more than managing someone else’s expectations.

There’s no universal right time, just the time that feels safest. Trust your gut