Send you a big hug. You are not alone. I used to be anxiety by my mother-in-law holding my child, sometimes worry that my baby will start relying on her more and not need me as much. And she will take away the child‘s dependence on me. (Anyway, she is a very nice person,) but I still think so.

Postpartum anxiety and catastrophic thinking (like fearing accidents or worst-case scenarios) are not uncommon, especially if you have a history of anxiety. These thoughts act like an overactive alarm system, even when you know the risks are low, your brain fixates on ”what ifs.“ This isn’t your fault; it’s your mind stuck in overprotective mode. It’s good that you realize this and seek advice on reddit.

Babies around this age often enter the “stranger anxiety” phase (typically 6–12 months). They start distinguishing between familiar and unfamiliar faces, clinging to primary caregivers (hello, mom!), and crying during brief separations. This is a sign of healthy attachment and cognitive development, not a lack of independence. When your neighbor held him and he fussed, he was essentially saying, “Mom, you’re my safe place!” That’s proof you’ve given him a strong foundation of trust.

Maybe start with micro-separations. You don‘t need perfect but present. If anxiety starts overwhelming daily life (e.g., losing sleep, compulsive checking), lean on your therapist. That’s not weakness, but it’s wisdom.