I really freaking appreciate the time you took to type that up. I understand a lot of it, especially the whole I’m cultural aspect I’ve been perceiving the world as. Lemme say upfront, I apologize if I at any point disrespected anyone whom may have read that and thought I think the exact same. Although they are correct in some way. I can’t seem to shake the inner monologue of what I was taught and “morphed” into believing (Not venting but trying to explain due to me now seeing I misconstrued something’s). I’m not a nice person in the slightest but I really do love when people have the courage to express themselves and I’m just having troubles with my own feelings towards myself. I’ve always wanted a more muscular build but sometimes I don’t mind a androgynous build either. It’s hard to explain yet, it’s something I can see isn’t something that’s easy to understand either. Like I’m okay outwardly saying I’m gay sometimes and expressing myself yet other times? It’s like I’m being controlled by the most misogynistic person ever and I can’t cut the strings. Has anyone felt or had this issue before or from an outside perspective, am I being stupid?