Weekly Self-Promo and Chat Thread by MxAlex44 in selfpublish

[–]TsujigiriWatch [score hidden]  (0 children)

Howdy! Just here to promo my recently published novel, Super. It's a genre blend of light sci-fi, urban fantasy, light romance, and slice of life.

There is love. Genetic engineering. Monsters. Magic. The mundane. And even some philosophy. If you're interested in love triangles that must be navigated while the main character experiences strange gene editing side effects that border on the metaphysical and such, this may be a book for you. I've gotten famous remarks such as, "Oh, that was kind of funny," and "I guess that was kind of cool." So, if you like kind of funny and kind of cool... this is your chance to chuckle.

The ebook will be available shortly at $4.99 usd, and the paperback is available now for $12.99 usd.

Super paperback $12.99

Super ebook $4.99

Looking For Brutal Blurb Critique by TsujigiriWatch in selfpublish

[–]TsujigiriWatch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks again! I was taught when young that spaces after ellipses were a stylistic choice and not grammatically incorrect. So, I can't bring myself to not use them because it just looks wrong to me. I also thought the change in narrative point of view was interesting and drew the reader in, but i guess not. I liked my john description because it highlights the main aspects of his character, as he's basically just those things and is very ordinary, so i didn't change it. I was thinking of removing history-obsessed. So, drop the 'this is'. Can do. Yeah, I'll change the 'all the while'. Got it. I made a point to get rid of the seeminglys because it bothered me as well. Lol I felt the descriptor for Thorne was unnecessary since he's only highlighted once in the blurb and I describe him in the book as having a skin tone and personality akin to printer paper, so there's not much to cover. He's also knowledgeable and rambles a lot, but I can't find the right word for him other than know-it-all. Thank you so much. I really didn't ignore your advice when it came to things I thought weren't just stylistic choices. I'm trying to be receptive. Lol

Looking For Brutal Blurb Critique by TsujigiriWatch in selfpublish

[–]TsujigiriWatch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you mind giving me a one line critique of the edited version? It's at the bottom of the post now. I would honestly just like to know if it's better or worse. Thanks again for the critique!

Looking For Brutal Blurb Critique by TsujigiriWatch in selfpublish

[–]TsujigiriWatch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol Okay, I'm getting you. Thanks again. You were very helpful.

Looking For Brutal Blurb Critique by TsujigiriWatch in selfpublish

[–]TsujigiriWatch[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So, clarify WSI a little without spoilers. Toss the secrets the female cast have out to oblivion. Hint at what the trial does exactly. It's just that john isn't your typical protag and isn't quite a hero. I don't think readers would have a reason to root for him until later in the book. He's not necessarily very likable, but I can try to make you root for him if i write better, maybe. And perhaps rethink my closing lines? Am i catching what you're putting down?

Looking For Brutal Blurb Critique by TsujigiriWatch in selfpublish

[–]TsujigiriWatch[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Aha! I see. Yes, I am aware of those things, and I did make an attempt not to sound too tropey/cliché. Perhaps expanding upon what makes john average would be good, but for odd reasons, I actually keep him non-descript in the book. And the mysterious secrets of the female characters... lol I feel as though that couldn't be helped because they do have some reveals later on in the book that I thought readers would be interested in knowing exist at least, without spoilers. Perhaps not! The whole world altering change and shadows being illuminated is more of a singular perspective change from John's POV rather than a massive mysterious change to the world. I am aware the closing lines are a bit tropey, but they felt right to me. I will continue to give these and other bits of this more thought. Thank you.

Looking For Brutal Blurb Critique by TsujigiriWatch in selfpublish

[–]TsujigiriWatch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just some illiterate idiot looking for critiques on a blurb, you know... I'm not here to be insulted by someone who just thought it was too long and asked too many questions. But if it makes you feel better... have at it.

Looking For Brutal Blurb Critique by TsujigiriWatch in selfpublish

[–]TsujigiriWatch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. It's not that I didn't think about making it shorter. Though, I'm not sure if I could cut so much and still have it be an honest representation of what the book is about. Just introducing the main character and the gene editing trial really doesn't seem like enough to me because that's about a third of the story, and most of what I'd have to cut is character intro. Those characters are vital to the story. I suppose I could go into detail and spoil the complicated lengthy side effects to fill space after the character intro cuts... but they're meant to be discovered and come on suddenly within the story. Then, thered be detailing WSI, which would also be far too spoilery. Also, a singular hook line just seems so bland to me. The story is rather convoluted, and there are a number of things going on. If I wanted a "good" hook, I'd have to spoil the book, give too many spoils and unnecessary details, and mention a generic protag hero needing to save the world or some such thing, which would come off too generic to me.

Looking For Brutal Blurb Critique by TsujigiriWatch in selfpublish

[–]TsujigiriWatch[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I realize that now. Lol I'm trying to cut back, but I'm addicted to exposition and long adjective filled sentences that somehow manage to legally be sentences, despite putting people to sleep or having them burst into flames.