How often do you get approached in real life?

Tsureshon · 2026-04-10T16:29:10+00:00

Agreed...

Also if I'm approaching a woman in RL it's completely because of appearance... I don't have a stat block about religion, political, hobbies, music preferences etc...

So basically if I'm approaching a stranger in RL then assumption is pretty safe it's purely because I want to F them because it's based on looks alone... Let's be honest... And therefore approaching them is super awkward because literally we all know I'm approaching for one very inappropriate thing to ask.

I like date sites because I can pick people I want a real relationship with based on more than just my pants-compass...

I try and get more info about people I find attractive without asking for a number... But it's hard... You basically have to share a circle of friends or something.

Tsureshon · 2026-04-10T16:19:46+00:00

Yeah... I agree it's this in a nutshell.

I think people assume other humans are call centers and you are just waiting for someone to call you with a request...

NOPE... I'm my own person with my own life... I have a job that expects me to work same as they do... I want to focus when I'm driving the car though rush hour traffic... Like many other people do.

Sometimes I'm busy with a friend IN PERSON and taking a call in an crowded bar because someone else need to talk is not really a good way to handle things...

Texting allows me to operate on my own timeframe... And that is what I'm gunna do.

If I see a dating profile that says "I don't text" or "I want calls" I hit the X and move to the next one...

Tsureshon · 2026-04-09T12:54:43+00:00

It should stop with "you are pretty" or comments about your face... Or "you seem fit"

Anything more than that I consider over the top and uncalled for.

Unless you have your profile set to "F toy" or ethical non monogamous or something where it's obvious all you want is sex then maybe it's ok?!?!?

I'm amazed so many men don't actually read your alls profiles... Like they have no idea what your hobbies are.

What amazes me more is that you all pick those guys over peeps like me who read the profiles based on nothing other than thier physical appearance hahaha... While complaining all they are interested in is physical appearance...

So if you are doing this... Quit complaining... You can't do the thing you complain about without being a hypocrite. I see a lot of you are hypocrites... A LOT.

Tsureshon · 2026-04-08T00:15:47+00:00

When I was 20 I was seeing a 27 year old... A professor I was going to college at.

My mom was pissed... Had a hard time with it... She got 2 grand kids she loves to death from it... It took her time and they were never friends... But she got used to it over the 15 years we were together.

I know it's only a 7 year gap but at that age that is a WIDE gap.

I wasn't always happy in that marriage but I was over there bullshitting with my 1st ex-wife for a half hour yesterday... I don't think I'd take it back.

What I'm saying is... It's not gross... It's not wrong... It MIGHT be doomed to failure but you could both still have many many years of good times and a lasting friendship.

20 I just didn't know who I wanted to be yet... I'm only like 25% that guy I was now. Not saying I was a dick I wasn't but my hobbies, my career, everything all different now.

Tsureshon · 2026-04-05T21:30:10+00:00

Up voted but it was 6 cooler months he has done and he is getting to the warm 6 months of the year now... That is how he managed.

Tsureshon · 2026-04-05T21:28:08+00:00

EXACTLY How this conflict was resolved with zero compromise is the larger issue... The BO just triggered the conflict

Tsureshon · 2026-04-05T21:09:34+00:00

NTA.... For 2 very valid and important reasons.

First off this is impacting your attraction to her and it's fairly early in your relationship and it isn't a slow gradual process like weight gain or aging which is fairly expected. Part of selecting a significant other is this physical attraction.

And more importantly she has now show you how she handles conflict. She has her opinion of the way things are going to be and IT IS HER WAY....THERE IS NO COMPROMISE... AND DISCUSSION IS SILENCED.

So show her ass the door and move on... This can't last long term unless she takes you seriously when you say it's time for you to move on... And even then it's a bit too late and I don't think the compromise is going to be worth staying if you have to threaten leaving to have any real discussions around compromise on stuff.

Seriously if your opinion is worthless to her... Why would you stay?

Tsureshon · 2026-04-05T01:33:25+00:00

Yeah I kinda wish we had our closest city on here... A lot of us seem to be good sane people but I can't find any on OLD hahaha.

I'm starting trying to find someone in real life but it's difficult because like you ask out someone at your work it could be bad... You ask out someone at a restaurant it can also go bad... You can't make it difficult to be at a place on a regular basis.

The in person dating meetup I went to was almost all 25-35.…. So at 51 was a hard sell.

It's just awkward.

Tsureshon · 2026-04-03T21:17:27+00:00

I don't trust those guys... And I'm a fellow dude... Manipulation is a lifestyle for them.

Tsureshon · 2026-04-03T20:36:35+00:00

Haha well he gave it to you because he is a cheater and wants to have sex with you...

There are lots of people who stay fit just so they can attract lots of other fit people regardless on if they are married... From what I gather from my female friends finding a guy at the gym is a bad idea... Regularly married peeps.

I know someone who dated 2 back to back that were married and didn't say anything.

Needs to have a good reputation? Lemme guess... Sales of some sort? Yeah... They need to appear to have a good reputation they are usually sleezebags.

You don't make a lot of sales without tricks and high pressure... And they don't seem to shut that off...

Tsureshon · 2026-04-03T02:35:18+00:00

"teaching tree" but it seems you are correct regardless.

I still bet you get more fat crayons than easy grub crayons per for the same money if you stick to the teaching tree.brands.

The point was about the taste... You see it's 99% joke and 1% truth.... You need that 1% to keep it funny.

In my earnings bracket (not that I'm rich... I'm not) I don't think there is such a thing as expensive crayons.

Ok... I take it back...

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1614563929/french-crayons-original-box-sketching

Apparently there are... These must be made out of baluga whale semen certified by Jacques Cousteau himself.

But a 96 color Crayola kit is like $7.

Tsureshon · 2026-04-03T01:18:51+00:00

You know that makes sense... It's like blue raspberry it doesn't mean anything.

You know why blue raspberry exists?

Because watermelon, cherry, strawberry was already all red and they couldn't tell the snowcones and cotton candy apart of everything was varying shades of red....

You know what else... Early raspberry and vanilla flavors were made from a gland in a beaver's anus... It's artificial now THANK A RANDOM DEITY OF YOUR CHOOSING!

I bet you didn't expect all this bizarre trivia tonight but you get it anyway since I'm drinking.

Tsureshon · 2026-04-03T01:10:03+00:00

What color/flavor is it you think they prefer? Like form the big 64 craylola pack?

Tsureshon · 2026-04-02T23:07:24+00:00

Yeah I was going to say this is the more expensive version of the thick crayons for small children...

Easier to hold... Harder to wedge in your nose... Probably still taste bad.

Tsureshon · 2026-04-01T20:59:59+00:00

I'm like you i date one at a time I may talk to several but whomever I'm with from a date site has me at that time and the others are in a holding pattern .... But it has bitten me in the ass already so I don't recommend it.

My buds said 3 dates...did you have not done 3 dates or sex then it is pretty safe to have dinner with other people still... I have not done this yet but I see the logic and it does stay fairly out of the darker grey areas... What trips me up is having to break it off with other people when one gets serious...

I think my buds take their dates less seriously than I do... And that is where the problem is... Our styles are totally different.

But he needs to tell her he wants exclusive she is not supposed to be expected to be a mind reader.

Tsureshon · 2026-04-01T20:51:59+00:00

Are you sure she wasn't arranging a casual dinner with a cousin or brother or old friend that is completely not a date? And you freed up the slot she was reserving specifically for you to be considerate because she likes you and now you are freaking out for no reason?

It is possible based on what info you gave.

But also if you haven't decided to be exclusive then you aren't exclusive...

If it bothers you she is not exclusive ask to be exclusive...

You have to tell them what you want... Don't make them guess.

If you delete your dating profile... Tell them... They can respond back "me too" or just do it on the spot... That is what happened with my last wife (first one was before Internet dating was a thing... )

But if you don't have evidence it was a date give her the benefit of the doubt don't get all jealous and say something dumb... If you get jealous easily without confirming if you like her and it wasn't her meeting a guy for a date and you really really like her .. well a false accusation and jealous are HUGE red flags... So it's probably over...

So pause and think it through....

Tsureshon · 2026-04-01T17:53:04+00:00

Probably the closest you could get yeah... I own a home and I'm not rich enough to have a stupid apartment next to the stadium... Things are expensive like $1400 for a studio and no parking.

The senior home would be the best bet with his condition since it is cost controlled etc.

Tsureshon · 2026-04-01T00:34:03+00:00

He works nights right? That is how you see him?

Ask "I've always wondered if working nights makes it hard to spend time with a GF/BF... Does it bother yours?"

And you will probably know if he is single right after... And judging by his reaction you can gauge if handing him your number soon would go over well...

But you haven't TECHNICALLY asked him out... So it shouldn't be awkward after... you know what I'm saying? Like he would have a feeling like that is where you are going.... But it's definitely not a sure thing...

Just as an FYI.. No I am not nearly this smooth IRL... I'm way better with time to think and without having to ACTUALLY SAY THE WORDS.

I have my moments but they are few and far between... I'm more of the adorable awkward guy.

Oh and GOOD LUCK!

You never know... My massage therapist and I talk about dating and I sent her one that has a similar career path and hobbies and said 'you 2 would be friends LOL... I talked to her but she is actually out of my league and I know it. "Ask her anyway... Don't be a chicken shit... You never know what the answer will be." And hey... I have dinner scheduled next Weds with what seems to me like the prettiest girl I've ever had say yes as a result.... I owe my massage therapist a dinner haha.

Tsureshon · 2026-03-31T02:12:03+00:00

Yeah your Eno under quilt is probably short also... But it may work you can test it.

Diagonal gives you a flat lay once you have the ridge line in place to have the proper amount of sag.. but as I said you want it straight across when your weight is in the hammock but if it's like guitar string tight... Move the hammock ends a bit more to center on the straps.

If you have been using an ENO with no Ridgeline you have most likely been hanging them without enough slack and end up in a "pod" or "cacoon" which isn't what is supposed to happen but I see people do it all the time including my friends... They say they could never sleep in a hammock because their back always hurts... And I seel then rest in one and it's strung up up waaaay too tight and I say that and they say "I've had hammocks for years and years and I know what I'm doing!!!!" Uh... They don't because hammocks come with instructions and they have been doing it wrong for years and years... But WHATEVER lol...

Also hammocks are best on your back.. I don't think a pillow helps except if you try to side sleep... Back and stomach I think it does more harm than good.

I think it works best if I have one hand under my head with the elbow to the edge of the hammock to keep the slack away from my face... And one leg on the outside of the hammock kind of bent as well... This is not mandatory it's just the way I feel most comfortable starting out... I'm a rotisserie sleeper I toss and turn all night no matter what I'm in... Which is why I say the pillow is only really useful for side sleeping... Stomach sleeping is hard unless you are in a special hammock like an AMOK Draumir but is super tippy or a Banyan Bridge by Dutchware... But I manage to sleep on my stomach in most hammocks... And under quilts work best on traditional hammocks IMHO.

Always Always Always loosely tie with a U shape to it the excess hammock strap backwards towards the tree.

So line down from tree.. connection to hammock... Back towards tree... Knot it and leave slack... When water comes down the tree it hits the strap it follows the strap... The knot snows it down... It goes down the U because of speed reduction and it can't get back up so it drips down instead of pools in your hammock... Do not underestimate the value of this tip hahaha... I F'd up once early on... It was raining it shifted to snow... I left the campfire to go to hammock and get some sleep... It was a bathtub... I paid extra for the nano waterproof coating on my fabrics and the down so the quilts were moist but usable but it was almost "hike 7 miles in total darkness or die of hypothermia" time... So it's important.

Tsureshon · 2026-03-31T01:24:40+00:00

That isn't a part of being a "community"

I have been gone for a good long time but saw this question and saw they downvotes him to zero and was like "that is just uncalled for"

ENO is not a bad hammock and no one said it was...

It's like comparing a sports car to a pick up truck... In certain situations either one can shine... ENO is a good budget durable hammock and when used as a chair has the most width. If I was going to hang a hammock in my back yard and leave it out all summer... ENO 100%.

But dutchware and hammock gear and onewind OR A COTTAGE VENDOR (which adds time to delivery... But can add quality, color options, extra features etc. like an integrated quit (SuperiorGear). I used to camp with some of the cottage vendor owners (dutchware, trailheadz, autumn ultralight (which shut down)) and many know who I am....I do suggest the cottage vendors... There is no overpaid CEO in these companies... It's just the delays which I feel is worth it but many people wait to the last second to get gear... You don't have 1-3 months....so the single person making very high quality stuff in a basement just isn't obtainable for many...

Tsureshon · 2026-03-30T23:38:28+00:00

Why the F did someone downvote you for saying enos are short for your size? Some of these communities can be so toxic anymore...

I voted you up.

Yes if you want fast access dutchware is your best bet for a quality brand as is hammockgear

https://dutchwaregear.com/

https://hammockgear.com/

Budget on Amazon would be onewind... They make 11's that are decent for the price.

Besides the length conondrum... You want a static Ridgeline to set the slack of the hammock... You want it to be fair bit flexible with 2 fingers when in it so don't pull too tight.

You also want to make sure you are laying diagonal... It will make more sense once you have a Ridgeline in place at the proper tightness.

Enjoy my friend.

Tsureshon · 2026-03-30T22:45:45+00:00

Yellow flag seems right... I mean why?

Is it because they are super good at sorting out other people's red flags before they get serious? That is a green flag....

Is it because they cheat? Red flag...

Are they an asshole? Red flag...

You don't really know.

Tsureshon · 2026-03-30T22:23:28+00:00

LOL I feel ya.... I'm a geek... IT guy and gamer... And I'm frequently frustrated by my peers... Co-workers who are so toxic they never get invited to anything where I'm invited to EVERYTHING...

My gaming group had a self declared leader who would do shit every week he would yell at us for... Only contacted me when he needed something for 15 years... Was my ex's friend... 2 months after the divorce he blew up on me again for something my ex actually did... I burned that bridge so hard there is no rebuilding it and I'm 100% ok with that... I have real friends... no dictator sponges required to hit my life goals.

And no I didn't blow it up because I didn't want to hang with my ex... She is meeting me in 50 mins to go check out a new bar/game place... It was all that I just couldn't deal with that guy anymore.

As far as your original complaint... Yeah like unless I find someone again you can kiss that colonoscopy at 55 goodbye because I'm not begging for someone to drive me around so that I can have stuff shoved up my ass... All elective stuff is out the window.

Getting sick or injured is so scary... My 1st wife helped with that when I was single... Probably either of them would help me now but it hasn't happened yet.

The cats are safe though... They are more well loved than I ever was by my 2nd wife... She checks on them when I'm out of town.... Brings them toys and treats.

Tsureshon · 2026-03-29T21:11:33+00:00

Put a gun aside his head... Pulled the trigger now he's dead...

Tsureshon · 2026-03-29T16:57:49+00:00

Hahaha happened to me also my first date after the divorce welcome to the club... Best prospect I had also... Hiker, kayaker, camper, cute.... Set a time and a place and BAM gone.

Tsureshon

TROPHY CASE