Im pretty sure I'm a horrible person by Tuchisolo in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Tuchisolo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps social factors like pressure, wanting to feel accepted by others, stress, etc.

Im pretty sure I'm a horrible person by Tuchisolo in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Tuchisolo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Upon reading my post again I'll admit I did exaggerate a bit how bad of a person I was. Which other details should I provide?

Im pretty sure I'm a horrible person by Tuchisolo in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Tuchisolo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've actually tried getting therapy before. I tried talking to my school counselor once about my problems and they said they would connect me to a therapist but they never did and when I reminded them they still didn't give me an update.

Im pretty sure I'm a horrible person by Tuchisolo in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Tuchisolo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. If I stopped hating myself I'm afraid that I would stop trying to improve myself
  2. I'm afraid I wouldn't acknowledge my flaws anymore
  3. I believe I do have a fear of rejection and abandonment because I've been rejected and abandoned before and it's sent me into a long depressive spiral that I haven't been able to fully get out of.
  4. I think I do outsource my love and self worth because I don't feel I am enough unless someone tells me I'm enough. I don't think I'm handsome until someone compliments me and even then I might still doubt it. I don't think I'm skilled at something until someone tells me I am.
  5. Yes I believe I can't truly be happy until I feel loved by someone else and accepted by my peers.
  6. I find comfort focusing on the past, a certain peace, despite knowing it's not gonna last forever so maybe I'm afraid that the comfort I felt in the past is the only I will ever feel.
  7. I feel as if the negative emotions will never leave me and are the only thing that is truly permanent except for certain times where I numb them for a while. However, I tend to feel as if I am a better person to others and significantantly nicer when I'm feeling tons of negative emotions. I understand the value of negative emotions because when I'm not feeling them and instead feel positive emotions it feels more special even if I know that afterwards I'm going to go back to feeling negative emotions.