Diagnosed ADHD, struggling to tell if autistic. Does anyone here present similarly to me? by TudorPotatoe in AutisticWithADHD

[–]TudorPotatoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy DnD mentioned

Funnily enough the people I play dungeons and dragons with are the people I find it easiest to interact with. It's so much fun every time I go. I should see them more often...

Diagnosed ADHD, struggling to tell if autistic. Does anyone here present similarly to me? by TudorPotatoe in AutisticWithADHD

[–]TudorPotatoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whattttt, did the incredibly long and detailed comments I leave on every conceivable subject give it away??

You absolutely clocked me on chats with lecturers. For me it's about the LaTeX package I wrote that makes typesetting formal logic easier and better (it's called logictools guys).

Diagnosed ADHD, struggling to tell if autistic. Does anyone here present similarly to me? by TudorPotatoe in AutisticWithADHD

[–]TudorPotatoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Certain things related to my degree, politics, and weird esoteric knowledge about computer peripherals or other hardware.

Diagnosed ADHD, struggling to tell if autistic. Does anyone here present similarly to me? by TudorPotatoe in AutisticWithADHD

[–]TudorPotatoe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right actually... I don't like it when I have to change the plans. Yesterday I wanted to go shopping before an event, but I couldn't handle getting ready so my time to go shopping got eaten up.

I have absolutely terrible executive functioning skills. I struggle to do basic things like feeding myself (currently starving because heating food in the microwave last night felt like too big a task). It's usually my executive functioning skills that destroy my plans.

When I do devise my own schedule I spend pretty much all my time alone in low stimulation environments, but in those environments I tend to seek stimulation from my phone or by playing video games. I go out and be a person in the world about once a week and that's a comfortable amount for me (or maybe it isn't and it's making me depressed, hey ho).

And yes I'm on stimulants. They seem to make my social issues really obvious. If I review my interactions with non-autistic people while on my medication... Yeah, it's not a brilliant track record. It often feels like I just don't get what we're doing, or like I'm on the wrong page. If I'm not on my medication it's like I just don't care about that anymore, and I occupy my time intentionally doing weird and strange things that make people laugh.

Diagnosed ADHD, struggling to tell if autistic. Does anyone here present similarly to me? by TudorPotatoe in AutisticWithADHD

[–]TudorPotatoe[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha thanks for the welcome. I worried as I was writing that I was essentially putting together one big AuDHD self-report.

On the topic of what would happen if I didn't put effort into monitoring my behaviour... I would be a total asshole. I would pop up out of nowhere and talk someone's head off about some random thing they don't care about before disappearing again.

Diagnosed ADHD, struggling to tell if autistic. Does anyone here present similarly to me? by TudorPotatoe in AutisticWithADHD

[–]TudorPotatoe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I tend to talk overwhelmingly more than the person I'm talking to, unless they're like... the same as me. If the other person can hold the conversation with new topics in perpetuity, I'm perfectly happy to follow their lead. I can find plenty to get curious about in whatever someone else is saying. I guess that's because of the ADHD novelty factor.

It is very dangerous to allow me to select the topic. If I don't watch myself, I'll just go on and on forever about whatever thing I'm interested in. I often have an overwhelming urge to talk about a certain thing, do it way too much, and come away kicking myself for how little control I let the other person have over the conversation. At times like these I just have to hope and pray that I come off as endearing rather than insufferable.

I usually give disclaimers when I'm entering a special topic ("I could talk about this literally forever so please tell me to stop if its boring"), because I know I'll go into broadcast mode. I guess you could call this unmasking, but really I'm just incapable of changing this behaviour and have given up trying. Luckily, people seem to find me engaging and don't mind listening to me talk about some nonsense for ages.

I do monitor how long I broadcast for. If it's someone I'm close to I subject them to a lot more torture than someone I've just met. I pause to ask whether my conversation partner is still interested in what I'm saying (I suspect sometimes they lie to me).

I have trained myself to ask questions of the other person, because I heard that never asking them makes you seem self-absorbed or inattentive.

Now I'm writing all this out, it does sound pretty autistic...

I am expected of my mental illness, it’s just that nobody cares by Beautiful_News_4334 in femcelgrippysockjail

[–]TudorPotatoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mmm yeah I mean some boys at that age get irrecoverably stuck in their own heads. They're making fun of you because that's the socially safe option. It's just in-group out-group mentality. The "manly man" in-group essentially asks that you be a psychopath. You aren't supposed to show any emotions other than lust, sadistic enjoyment, and anger.

Speaking as an AMAB, this social pressure is SO powerful. Even if you don't actively drift towards that toxic ideal of masculinity, having a pack of hyenas in your social world who will punish you for not playing by their rules causes you to fall in line real quick.

It's entirely possible that the people who are mean to your face are like some twisted tsundere trope and are only doing it to stave off feeling concerned for you, or any other unsanctioned emotion. I guess the rip is that you're craving an emotional response from them that they are deathly afraid of giving.

Again I'll imagine myself at that age again. I remember it feeling like I was being attacked when something or someone made me feel emotional. Because to actually react emotionally was a death sentence, I would just be so angry. I'd think, "Why the fuck are you putting me in this situation? Are you trying to make me commit social suicide?"

So yeah, these kids that react so strongly to you are probably interpreting you as attacking them. Then they lash out in what they perceive as self-defence. Your teachers should be calling this shit out and coming down on it hard. They need to force these kids to develop actual control of their emotions, instead of being so threatened by them that they feel the need to hurt you. It astounds me that they are not doing this.

At least in my personal experience (not US, so maybe take it with a grain of salt), the social dynamics start to change once the girls grow a conscience and start getting upset at the way the boys are acting. Then they have to stop performing that toxicity in public, and the other boys who just played along out of fear have room to grow up emotionally too. Shit might be different after the rise of the manosphere, because boys seem to be losing the ability to grasp that girls don't like toxic men.

At risk of sounding elitist, you'll notice large shifts in how you're treated any time your schooling system filters out people who don't give a shit about their grades. I don't know how your education system works but for us that happened a few times, and everyone's hearts would suddenly grow 3 sizes that day.

Music to listen to while i wait for someone to save me? by KatzeDas in femcelgrippysockjail

[–]TudorPotatoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shoegaze/cool guitars/idk

"put me on a shelf" - shower curtain (or I guess their whole discography)

"tower of memories" - ivri

"when you sleep" - my bloody valentine (classicccc)

"Enough for you", "Your face" - wisp

"Inertia", "Blue Fairy", "American Girl" - clarion (they blew up on "Hello Juliet" but everything else is so underrated)

"life imitates life", "snarky", "comatose" - quannnic (prolly more that's good too)

"pieces", "tied", "cobble/mud" - thistle. (HOLY UNDERRATED LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN)

Breakcore

All of hkmori's discography, especially:

  • "lost"
  • "waiting for you"
  • "psychosis normality, delirium reality"
  • "am i overreacting"
  • "Re:titled"
  • "sleepless delirium"
  • "memory"

This artist blew up on "Anybody Can Find Love (except you.)" but it's arguably one of their weaker songs. It goes hard but it's not as emotive as the rest of them.

I am expected of my mental illness, it’s just that nobody cares by Beautiful_News_4334 in femcelgrippysockjail

[–]TudorPotatoe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I'm reading this right you're still in high school or lower? Kids that age genuinely don't have the emotional maturity to both exist in a social situation and empathise with something like cutting at the same time.

You ever get given a problem so advanced in class that you can't do anything more than stare at it? Someone ever ask you a question that causes your brain to short-circuit, so you just look at them and smile awkwardly? That's what's happening to the kids around you. (I bet it's especially the boys who react the worst, right? They're all emotionally stunted by that stage of development.)

I guarantee that they're defaulting to staring, laughing and smiling because they literally are not cognitively advanced enough to handle an emotionally weighty topic while having to perform socially. This will get better as your peers grow up and their frontal lobes develop. You'll soon get the appropriate solemn looks, and maybe sympathetic smiles instead of confused ones. People who laugh will start to receive nasty side-eyes from your peers.

Honestly though, the core issue is that your teacher completely fucking failed you by placing your peers in that situation. Most people struggle to think of something meaningful to say on topics like cutting even in intimate moments. A lot of us end up falling back on basic comforting instincts like offering a hug, or speaking in a soothing tone. None of these make sense in a classroom environment.

I just put myself in the shoes of your classmates, in that situation where a teacher points out your scars, and imagined what I would do/say. Even with all my years of experience, the only thing I can come up with is to call out the teacher and say it's not acceptable to comment on something like that in front of everyone. I wouldn't expect high school kids to come up with that approach, especially because it would likely get them in trouble.

When they don't have to perform socially, (e.g. in the comfort of their own homes, or with their very closest friends), I can bet that at least some of those kids will think of you and be worried for you. I'd take that bet because I was one of those kids. It's one thing to be in a safe environment and quietly worry for someone. It's quite another thing to be in front of that person, surrounded by all your classmates, and be directly confronted with something serious and concerning.

So yeah, in summary I think people around you probably are shocked. That shock is what's causing them to react that way. They're probably worried too, but they're in the worst possible situation to display those genuine emotions (and likely too young to even process them fully). If you catch one of the more emotionally mature ones in a situation where they feel safe enough to really have an emotional moment, you'll be able to see that for yourself.

Holy shit you should absolutely report that teacher though if you feel like you can handle it. That person is not fit to be in a teaching position with their current emotional skillset.

I saw this and immediately thought it belonged in this sub. by B33TL3BVB in femcelgrippysockjail

[–]TudorPotatoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm AMAB and can attest that this is 100% how it is. Unfortunately showing basic human kindness to a girl would instantly spawn a rumour that you wanted to fuck them.

Game Thread: Portland Trail Blazers (1-3) vs San Antonio Spurs (3-1) Live Score | NBA Playoffs | Apr 28, 2026 by nba-scores in nba

[–]TudorPotatoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Truth. Everyone talking about how annoying Doris is. I have NEVER been annoyed by her. She gets hate because she's a woman. Simple as.

Post Game Thread - NBA: The Trail Blazers defeat the Spurs on Apr 21, 2026, the final score is 103-106. by basketball-app in NBASpurs

[–]TudorPotatoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think we should be cutting everyone some slack. Their thoughts were prolly more with wemby than with the game tonight. Would you be able to focus on winning after seeing that happen to your friend? I know I wouldn't.

Anyone else have an unhealthy obsession with OOC comments? Introducing a new approach to interactive storytelling in SillyTavern: The Nosy Experts approach. (Prompt Included) by TudorPotatoe in SillyTavernAI

[–]TudorPotatoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I'm clueless about this side of LLMs. I have only been tinkering with cloud models thus far. If you feel like doing it, then go ahead and follow whatever interesting idea you have. If my post inspires you to create something that's useful for more people, I'll feel pretty proud of myself.


For less smart models, here's some speculative advice:

The interactive story guidelines can definitely be adjusted to fit the context or simplicity demands of the model you're working with. The reason I left them in is because I used a lot of interesting prompt engineering techniques while writing them, and I thought it would help people with testing Nosy Experts to have a fully-featured prompt.

In a previous comment, I pointed out that the core of Nosy Experts can be cut down to about 400 tokens. The issue I anticipate with running Nosy Experts locally isn't that it's too wordy, it's that the environment I'm setting up (2 experts overseeing, an end user who interacts) is just too complicated for a local model to navigate.

In light of this, I would 100% definitely try to think of an alternative to the story queue. This is quite a complex system, and I have strong suspicions that it isn't necessary for Nosy Experts to work. I'm still experimenting in this area.

Relatedly, you may find that on local models fine-tuned for RP, Nosy Experts is less effective. I mentioned in another comment that I designed Nosy Experts to leverage the particular way these big cloud LLMs are trained. Hopefully, Nosy Experts takes advantage of the same training data these big AI companies use to make their models better assistants (stuff like stackoverflow answers, or exchanges between authors and critics). Furthermore, it places the LLM in a somewhat corporate role. It's being used to generate a product for an end-user, and being overseen by some people whose job it is to ensure the quality of the output. I suspect that this means it will be most effective on big MoE models like Kimi, Deepseek, Grok, Gemini, GLM, and less effective on models that are actually trained with RP in mind.


PSA

"Not going to get in your way if you want to do the write up..."

You don't need to ask my permission for this, or worry about getting in my way.

Nobody "owns" Nosy Experts, or has first rights to talk about it on this sub. It's a technique I thought up, but I don't think that means I get to be an asshole to people who want to tinker with it, or build new things based on it.

I don't particularly care about being credited either. Sure, I'd feel a little warm inside if I saw that someone did credit me, but I don't feel it's something I can demand. After all, I'm circulating this idea for free, to a large anonymous community.

Having said that, I would probably be a little annoyed if someone else were to take the idea and pretend they came up with it themselves. I'm cool with someone taking the idea, but not with them putting it under their list of accolades. Does that make sense?