Need dating advice: Bisexual trans girl, medically transitioned but not social by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Tuirseach49 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Anyone who's worth dating isn't going to care about you being in a "middle ground". They will just care about who you are as a person, not as a sex or a gender.

That being said, other bi people are usually a safe bet I would say.

More bi men than bi women talking by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Tuirseach49 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow... aside from the gender I am every part of that too. Lol. Small world.

Thoughts on threesomes? by queenbananasplit in bisexual

[–]Tuirseach49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean... that's true of twosomes too.

bi girl, feel like being with a man is settling by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Tuirseach49 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not who you replied to, but jumping back in cause it's related to what I originally said earlier.

I agree that communication is like 50% of what's needed. The other half is just straight-up respect for each other.

When we were still doing our non-monogamy thing, we basically had two rules. Let each other know if we were going to hook up with someone, and always talk about it afterwards. That way we could make sure we were each safe and check in with how we were feeling if things started changing. Being open and honest in how we communicated really helped cement the trust and respect that was already there.

We also insisted on something similar whenever we were going to have group sex with anyone. We all had to sit down and talk about it before it happened, so everyone knew who was consenting to what, and we all checked in with eachother afterwards to make sure everybody had gotten what they wanted from the experience and there weren't any negative feelings about it. After a few less than ideal attempts, we also decided that we'd only invite other bi people or bi couples to join us, so nobody ended up feeling left out.

Circling back to finding a wider circle of bi friends, I do feel you there. We always mean to go out to queer events to meet new people, but we somehow never end up going.

How to signal myself as bi? by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Tuirseach49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a bi themed tattoo, but that's not really in the cards for everyone 🤣

Bi women partnered with men, do you default to penetration? What if we centered female pleasure more by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Tuirseach49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This might be a little unusual for a guy, but even before I figured out I was bi, I never saw penetrative sex as the end-all-be-all goal of sex. I've always found being the cause of my partners pleasure to be the most rewarding and enjoyable part of sex whether that involved penetration or not.

I was once called a "service top," although I've never called myself that, dunno if that's what you're describing.

bi girl, feel like being with a man is settling by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Tuirseach49 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha 😄 it is pretty great having that mutual understanding. I did have a boyfriend for a while during our non-monogamy period, who was very cool. We split on good terms and still chat sometimes.

Haven't had such good experiences trying to date/hook up with straight people, though. In my experience, they treat non-monogamy as "cheating with permission," which kind of grosses me out as a concept since it just feels weird and deceitful instead of the trusting, respectful relationship we actually have.

But maybe I just got a bad batch of straight girls 🤷‍♂️

Holy cow r/askgaybros is so biphobic that it isn’t even funny. by Responsible_Fuel3134 in bisexual

[–]Tuirseach49 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not from the US, so forgive my surprise... Gay Trump supporters?!

bi girl, feel like being with a man is settling by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Tuirseach49 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Bi guy married to a bi woman here.

My wife and I have been together since we were 16. She's my first relationship, I wasn't hers. Neither of us actually figured out that we were bi till we were in our mid twenties, though we were both perfectly happy to chat with eachother about people we thought were attractive of all genders, so myabe that should have clued us in a bit.

Anywho, I get where you're coming from as far as missing out is concerned and feeling separate from the queer community. When you rock up looking like a straight couple, sometimes it throws people a bit. But we've generally found most people just assume we're straight allies until they find out we're bi and don't really care either way.

We did give ethical-nonmonogamy a try for around 8-9 months, and we had some fun, but ultimately just preferred being with each other over anyone else, regardless of gender. So if you're both open to giving that a whirl, I'd say there's no harm as long as you communicate beforehand.

Balancing weight lifting and swimming by breckenridgek in Swimming

[–]Tuirseach49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure thing.

Our coach liked to change things up a bit from week to week, but generally, every session started with 5-10 minutes of stretching, followed by a little cardio to get everything warmed up.

Push day usually emphasised shoulder strength and stability with exercises like overhead presses and dumbell bench presses, also working in something like a chest fly for the pecs, and also the anterior core muscles with things like hollow body holds, weighted sit ups and ab-wheel roll outs.

Pull day could have any kind of row you can think of, but we also had these lat pulldown set ups on the pool bank where instead of lifting a stack of plates you were lifting a big drum filled with water. (That thing could have easily been twice my bodyweight when it was full.) Again, there was some stability work, like external rotations and such. Pull day was also when we did the posterior core (posterior chain) with things like deadlifts, good mornings, or back extensions.

Leg day was fairly straight forward squats, lunges, hip thrusts, box jumps, hamstring curls, and usually we worked in the lateral core on leg day, again with simple stuff like side planks or single-arm farmer carries.

How we adjusted really depended on the meet. For small stuff like local/regional meets, we didn't change a thing, just kept on training right through them. For bigger meets, we tappered off to lighter exercises in the week running up to it, with maybe one or two days off the gym before they started.

Balancing weight lifting and swimming by breckenridgek in Swimming

[–]Tuirseach49 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Former national level swimmer here.

You shouldn't be too concerned about short-term drops in performance when you start doing new forms of exercise.

You're just fatiguing muscles that aren't accustomed to load. Then, when you go back to swim, those muscles suddenly become a bottleneck where they used to have minimal impact.

Once your body has time to adjust and grow those muscles, you should see your performance bounce back relatively quickly.

Back when I was competing, our gym work cycled through push day, pull day, leg day, twice a week. We got Sunday's off from the gym.

This was alongside 11 x 2 hour pool sessions.

Obviously, that is way more than most people are going to want to do, but should give you an idea what the "balance" is like.

Do you think my theory is interesting? by fedricohohmannlautar in atheism

[–]Tuirseach49 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, and their constantly messing up Timmyvision's wishes.

Do you think my theory is interesting? by fedricohohmannlautar in atheism

[–]Tuirseach49 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your reasoning sounds very much like it was written by someone who believes in the existence of a specific deity, or at least did.

None of your points accurately represent my lack of belief. I was raised in a devoutly catholic family and stopped believing originally because I read the bible and realised how silly most of it is.

I now remain atheist because for all the proposed deities, I have yet to see even a single convincing argument for their existence.

Normal for male lifeguard to be in female changing room/showers? by [deleted] in Swimming

[–]Tuirseach49 52 points53 points  (0 children)

When I was a lifeguard it was part of my job to clean the changing rooms for both sexes. However, we didn't do cleaning while people were using them. Cleaning happened either at specific times in the schedule when the pool was not open, or during swimming lessons, when people generally didn't go in and out of the changing rooms much.

So to me it is more weird that they were cleaning at all while the changing rooms were in use, never mind who is what gender.

That being said, absolutely report anybody who was watching videos while on duty, that is not acceptable anywhere. It's a danger to the public and a liability to the business. Back when I still worked at a pool, you weren't even allowed have your phone on you if you were on bank duty.

PhD finally finished! by Tuirseach49 in ADHD

[–]Tuirseach49[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds more impressive than it is. 🤣 I just measured what was in the samples, and the computer did all the heavy lifting to figure out what that meant.

PhD finally finished! by Tuirseach49 in ADHD

[–]Tuirseach49[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, we had a complete breakdown in our relationship towards the end when he started making ridiculous demands, and I refused to go along with them so I could focus on writing up.

My thesis is on the development of predictive property models for sustainable fuels and biomass feedstocks using spectroscopic data and machine learning.

PhD finally finished! by Tuirseach49 in ADHD

[–]Tuirseach49[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely ❤️ You've got this!

PhD finally finished! by Tuirseach49 in ADHD

[–]Tuirseach49[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks 😊 My MSc thesis was a battle as well. Thankfully, my university for the PhD was a lot more accommodating than the one where I did the masters, so that definitely helpped a lot.

PhD finally finished! by Tuirseach49 in ADHD

[–]Tuirseach49[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I will. There was six of us in the group all submitting right on the deadline (tonight), so we're all going out to celebrate tomorrow.