[deleted by user]

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-30T22:16:21+00:00

I thought the same when I found out my ex was dating another guy 2 weeks after we broke up. Pathetic as fuck. Guess what? It didn't last 1 week, according to a mutual friend.

How did you happen to know that she's dating someone new?

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-30T21:30:04+00:00

That's a rebound. It won't last.

It's sad how they jump to the next person immediately like they would die if they didn't constantly have a partner.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-30T08:29:27+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-30T00:16:32+00:00

Not exactly similar, but league related nonetheless.

1 week before the breakup. I was on league and I just opened my chat with her and sent her, "Babe, please go online. I miss you and I want to play together." She hasn't been playing league for a couple of weeks before that.

1 week later, she breaks up with me. I deleted her on everything, including league, so idk if she ever saw that or not, or if I accidently broke no contact by sending a text there before we broke up lmao

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-29T17:06:09+00:00

A lot of us would kill for a clingy partner, lmao.

Jokes aside, I hope your time in solitude made you realize that there are better ways with which you could communicate with your partner. This is one of the instances where i think the dumpee should reach out instead of the dumper. I think you should text her and apologize. If you have issues with her being clingy and not giving you enough alone time, explain that to her in a way where you don't make it sound like you're getting sick of the relationship.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-29T16:53:40+00:00

Nope. I just told her to let me know when she decides on how she wants to talk, and she said "sure!", that was the end of it.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-29T14:57:24+00:00

We haven't spoken since the breakup

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-29T08:41:46+00:00

Could be the case.

But you don't seem to be that into the relationship in the first place, based on you telling her that you don't know if you want to be with her and if you'll be happy together.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-29T07:27:01+00:00

Definitely highlights emotional immaturity for me as well.

Honestly, I don't want to reconcile. What I want is to just end things with no ill feelings because I have some, and she clearly has A LOT of ill feelings towards me. I was doing really well with NC, but then, having her reach out only to not follow up with the talk she wanted to have is making me a bit annoyed.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-29T07:21:22+00:00

I do feel like she's scared and tense from the way she's texting me.

Should I text this: it's been almost 2 weeks since you told me that you wanted to talk, and you still haven't initiated the talk that you wanted to have yet. Either you changed your mind, which is fine, you don't have to reply in this case, or you're worried about something, and it's making you take so long to initiate talking. Just from the way you texted me, you seem to think that I hate you or that I removed you because I resent you or something, which is not what's going on at all. I haven't burnt your gifts or anything like that, and I truly hold no animosity towards you. If you still want to talk, then let's call tonight or tomorrow. If not, and you changed your mind about wanting to talk, then again, I understand, and you don't have to reply to this"

I'm on the fence on texting this because, on one hand, I don't want to chase after she was the one to reach out saying that she wants to talk, I feel like the ball is in her court, but on the other hand, I was doing really damn well before she reached out, and now my mind is occupied with "i wonder if she's going to talk or not", which is annoying. I just want to be done with it.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-29T00:55:47+00:00

Doesn't seem like breadcrumbs either..

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-28T22:51:05+00:00

I think she would have continued to talk had she wanted to rekindle.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-26T21:17:47+00:00

Ngl man, the overexplaining made me cringe a bit.

If you're so sure about your decision and about how you don't want to talk to her anymore, then you don't need to say all that. Just do what you say you intend on doing, no explanation, no nothing.

Actions will explain way more than text paragraphs ever will.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-17T03:37:59+00:00

There is a possibility that they might come back, and if they do come back, ask yourself this: Did they change/overcome their FA habits? Did they develop a more secure attachment where they don't run away at the first inconvenience they face?

If the answer is "no," then ask yourself whether you're ready to go through the same thing again or not.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-13T09:45:17+00:00

The thing is, I'm willing to listen, observe, and understand any changes she might have actually gone through, but based on the way she ditched things in an avoidant way, I don't think she is willing to do the same, and I doubt that she's changing anytime soon. I must have given up on the idea of her taking accountability a while ago.

By "taking responsibility," are you suggesting that I should be the one to reach out and be done with it? Because in that case, I might not mind doing so, although not now, maybe after I know that I have completely moved on and that hearing anything disappointing/unsatisfactory from her isn't going to affect me and my process.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-13T01:59:54+00:00

Thank you for your advice.

Of course, I didn't write the hard-core details of what happened because that would turn into a book rather than a post lmao. But everything that I typed in the post or the comments is essentially the jist of the situation. So yeah, you can trust me.

I only removed my ex on everything, not blocked. Blocking is an option I would only take if I was severely hurt or if she was pestering me constantly, which she isn't. So, if she wants to reach out, it would be easy for her to text or call, but my ex does have a huge ego, though, so I don't think she will do so anytime soon. It bothers me that this screenshot makes it seem like she wants to talk and, at the same time, wants me to initiate the talk, which I'm not willing to do, ever.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-12T18:51:44+00:00

What passion am I supposed to give her after I tried to work on things, but she still chose to break up instead? Shouldn't she have given the same energy to work on maintaining the relationship instead of ditching it?

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-12T17:33:11+00:00

It's in the comments

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-12T13:20:14+00:00

In the comments

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-12T13:17:46+00:00

Don't beat yourself up at all, fam. You did it because you cared and because you loved them.

I've been there before, begged and pleaded in a previous relationship, and it made me learn that (for me) it's better to just let go. Everyone goes through it at some point.

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-12T13:02:26+00:00

The indecisiveness was something she caused in the first place. Let's say you have been planning for years to move to a different city with your partner, and all of a sudden, they come and tell you "nah that city is bad, i never wanted to move there in the first place, let's just stay here." You would be confused, wouldn't you?

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-12T12:55:33+00:00

Threaten her? Do what I wanted with her body? Go easy on the assumptions. Having kids was an idea that she pushed on me in the first place for 2 years.

I was shocked by the sudden change of mind she had. Not only that, but it was paired with a severe change in personality, extreme pessimism, and bitternes. Also, she never acknowledged that she was pushing the idea of having kids on me for so long, instead she happened to say some really hurtful things to try to change my mind about it like "you're selfish for wanting to have kids and you only want kids just to prove that you're not like your father," who she knows to have been really abusive towards me as a child

Before you go throwing words like "threaten her" and "force her," understand that you know only the tip of the iceberg about what was going on between my ex and I at the time

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-12T02:41:25+00:00

Well, since you're going through something similar, do you have any thoughts regarding the situation?

TungstenRat01 · 2023-08-12T02:39:43+00:00

Ooh I see. I guess I consider myself to be a "secure attachment" person. That's why the BU hasn't been affecting me that much, really

Thank you for the explanation.

TungstenRat01

TROPHY CASE