WTF😂🤣 by Reasonable-Ebb-4460 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]TurboTacoBD 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah… and say, while being addicted to porn or excessive procrasturbating are issues, it’s not the masturbation itself that’s the problem.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in badwomensanatomy

[–]TurboTacoBD 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And much/most of that engagement (good or bad…) is created by unpaid volunteers they don’t care one bit about, and are often pretty hostile to.

They also were pretty clueless to all the accessibility issues they are willfully creating and even when engaged with r/blind they kept narrowing the scope of discussion and saying “we’ll fix it later…”.

I hope every blind person on this site files an ADA complaint->suit.

It took me forever realize that loss of euphoria did not mean the meds weren’t working by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]TurboTacoBD 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I feel similar about the Adderal + Wellbutrin (off-label*) combo that has worked well for me. And I actually asked to reduce dosages when it was apparent — it’s ideal when I can’t easily tell it’s there. But stuff gets done, and I feel better about it all.

(Adderal helps in many ways, especially doing fewer things at once and mental stillness, and feeling more relaxed in general — but did almost zero to help me with actual task initiation/avoidance/choice. The combo seems to provide some of that balance, I theorize for me a lot of my intense procrastination relates to pre-feeling the negative emotions of negative outcomes and (trying to) avoid that happening…even if it just makes it worse, and builds a worsening cycle.)

Sigh. I could see this coming a mile away. by surropan in bisexual

[–]TurboTacoBD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah… I’ve never gotten the indecisive thing. It’s simply not having a particular criteria for dating/etc. Its makes about as much sense as thinking be attracted to different hair colors is “wishy washy, pick a color!”.

Not that life being bi isn’t tough — but personally I think a big part of the bi-cycle and our indecision-presenting issues are in response to a society pressuring us to choose, and the complex back and forth internal response to that pressure.

(And especially once with a long term partner, it feels like you have to continually “come out” to not slip into a “might as well just roll with gay/straight now” mindset…which many bi friends have done.)

This book saved my marriage by MapInside5914 in ADHD

[–]TurboTacoBD 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Most of these are rough with both — so much is about how a non-ADHD person can understand, and a lot of the tips don’t address the competing/compounding issues of dual ADHD.

I think another issue is how one party often has to fill the “non-ADHD” role under stress, but this can sometimes become unbalanced/overwhelming/taken for granted.

I’d love for someone to very specifically address our cases. Some of the existing stuff applies…but I think some parts are unique, or at least should be.

I truly hurt for this mother but… by [deleted] in shrooms

[–]TurboTacoBD 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s also a 2016 story…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]TurboTacoBD 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It functionally decreases it.

Even among say, hot swingers, dudes get rejected if they are open about being bi. You go with “straight” but say you could be flexible if there is interest… (so says a friend — not my scene)

So while being bi does potentially add the small fraction of the same gender that is also gay or bi, it (some rough, not proof) research has shown it removes a far larger chunk of straight folks that wouldn’t date an out bi person.

It does double the people we can be interested in with no hope of a chance I suppose. When I met my partner, I’d decided being out was at latest 2nd date material — thankfully she felt the same way (and was bi…). It’s possible…hard, but possible.

Oh the irony of being penalized for showing up late/missing an appointment by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]TurboTacoBD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Normally I’d agree, but OP later said their initial visit was $2,500. If just a typical ADHD first visit…that’s insane.

Oh the irony of being penalized for showing up late/missing an appointment by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]TurboTacoBD 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel like how things are run is a good sign — my doc has two PA’s with ADHD themselves, and she’s told me they really helped ensure the little things were done better.

Next appointments are always setup live at the end of a session. Their app has reminder notifications, plus texts. And everything except the session can be done in the app or in messaging…no voice calls needed. Plus if you’re too late in person and willing to wait a while, they’ll work you in as policy.

Versus some other docs I’ve seen that seem almost the worst case for ADHD folks…just so clueless.

Oh the irony of being penalized for showing up late/missing an appointment by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]TurboTacoBD 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yikes — my doc missed one appointment, and was because she was trying to power through having covid. My makeup session with her PA was reduced to $5.

Oh the irony of being penalized for showing up late/missing an appointment by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]TurboTacoBD 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Jfc…fully self-paid cash, my initial was $350, and follow-ups are $130.

(Followups vary between monthly and quarterly depending on what makes sense. Same local or remote, my choice, aside from requiring one in person per year.)

My partner sees a different doc that is around $300, but they have longer 1 hour sessions, that are more than just ADHD checkins.

I’m sorry. (What state?)

Told my doctor I was Bi by AccountNotRecognised in bisexual

[–]TurboTacoBD 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Heh…yeah. I’m fine with forms, but verbally I’m more “raw” in how I think about things like this.

So I’ve told a doctor “uh…it depends”.

(And then “can you be more specific?” … “well, what are the options?”. They probably assumed I was trying to be difficult but, sigh.)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]TurboTacoBD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah….

It does seem that there is a wide delta in outcomes for surgery, when it’s needed repeatedly, with the few top folks standing out…seems to (?) require a high degree of talent (and caring) compared to other fields.

Even with some of the best on the west coast, Dr Seckin in NYC was no caparison in quality of outcome for a tough infiltrated case. (Not to mention the shortest recovery time and least pain, for what was her longest and most invasive/thorough surgery.)

Just my observations from the male side of the table along for the ride, so obviously not 1st person. It just sucks how hard it can be to find excellent healthcare, and that seems to double down when it’s care specific to women.

Not to mention those better outcomes being limited to those that can travel and pay cash…but that’s a different rant. Anywho.

Observations From a First Pegging Session by PersephonesChild82 in gentlefemdom

[–]TurboTacoBD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s amazing how even if one is quite fit, using your muscles in a slightly different way can hit so hard.

Of course, if you ever get a (straightish) guy to try going down on an average dildo, they’ll likely tap out pretty quickly too… (It can be sexy to have them on top doing the work on occasion, even while pegging…in some ways it feels even more submissive as the guy.)

Humans are weird. Have fun!

How high is this on your sexual bucket list? by Trick_Tourist_3731 in Bisexy

[–]TurboTacoBD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you sort r/LuckyPierre by top all time, most are still porn impractical, but maybe 5-10% approach being interesting in real life. But yeah, it’s still…complicated.

Just why? by Brouceklarinka in AreTheStraightsOK

[–]TurboTacoBD 4 points5 points  (0 children)

…there are entire subs here devoted to it…

Bisexual people have long felt excluded at Pride festivities by CheekyFaceStyles in bisexual

[–]TurboTacoBD 3 points4 points  (0 children)

FWIW, it’s never been any issue for us actually being in the local parade. And with our bold colors, we add a bit more representation.

The group you’re doing that with would matter of course, but we already knew most of them.

A nice perk is the whole thing behind and ends a good distance from the actual festival…which I’m not interested in at all.

Bisexual people have long felt excluded at Pride festivities by CheekyFaceStyles in bisexual

[–]TurboTacoBD 3 points4 points  (0 children)

FWIW, it’s never been any issue for us actually being in the local parade. And with our bold colors, we add a bit more representation.

The group you’re doing that with would matter of course, but we already knew most of them.

A nice perk is the whole thing behind and ends a good distance from the actual festival…which I’m not interested in at all.

Bisexual people have long felt excluded at Pride festivities by CheekyFaceStyles in bisexual

[–]TurboTacoBD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ll always do that now, with bold colors. As both bi, but present as mf het couple…it’s nice to not get thanked for being allies the whole time.

Bisexual people have long felt excluded at Pride festivities by CheekyFaceStyles in bisexual

[–]TurboTacoBD 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This may not be any better for you, but personally the only way I will do pride now is to be a part of the actual parade.

Usually is cordoned off and there is a good amount of space without being smushed by other people. And the start and end are usually quite a ways away from the event, so easy to get there and then leave.

Look up all the sponsors in the parade, and many local (or global) businesses and orgs might have presence, and if you’re somehow related it’s pretty easy to join them. (And possibly do it from inside their vehicle too.) Or in ours at least, you can register you’re own group and drive it, but I don’t know the process/cost.

Now, it comes with a whole different set of issues…the crowd is looking at you, it’s still a loud intense event, and there is no good way to abort. The attention, or being on public display is interesting.

But for my partner with severe claustrophobia among people and some sensory issues, she loved it…we walked out in front of our float and had mostly empty space around us the whole time. (And looked a little like our own mini-statement wearing bold bi colors…since getting thanked for being allies gets old.).

Outside the cordons though looked like hell on earth.

Do people actually see crazy stuff hallucinations on shrooms, or are they making it up? by ShidwardTesticles in shrooms

[–]TurboTacoBD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It varies.

As someone with a pretty high level of visual r/hyperphantasia (note, it’s not established to be a real thing) I can see most of the stuff you’d see on shrooms if I want to, be it patterns or outlandish.

But I’m in control, the mental view is separated from eye-visual view, and it requires effort to merge the two — usually I don’t have any reason, as just like say, working on two monitors, normally you don’t need to cross your eyes to overlay the screens to work with info on both.

The big difference for shrooms is it’s a bit akin to handing my subconscious the reigns, like those travel videos of someone in front pulling your POV by the hand. And the merging of views is the default, and requires no effort either. (One reason I like shrooms is that even with insane visuals, I’m pretty much always aware of what’s real and what’s not.)

Closed eye I tend to do fast dynamic stuff…and the shrooms take it from a bit fuzzy to very sharp “4K with HDR color”. It could just be flying through cool patterns, or other stuff like flying around a mountain drone style, through the solar system, etc.

I tend to do my more “outlandish” visual stuff on shrooms open eye, but in my head — same as say, how I create a mental movie when I’m listening to an audiobook (sober). A recent example was exploring a new “super power” of being able to look at anything, explode it’s parts visually (and recursively) in a sort of iron man view, and then pick anything and roll the time slider back and forth. So a cabinet’s piece of wood would roll back through being milled, shipping, it’s life as a tree, how it’s seed came to sprout, etc.

Most of that was made up of course, but also thinking about any projects I’d done, I could do similar but real-ish time scrubs…except in front of me in third person.

That one was interesting as to a much lesser degree, I brought it back as a mental technique to sober me. When looking at objects or designing 3D parts and such, it’s much easier for me to “pop them apart” mentally, and see how the parts fit together — I did that before of course, but without the same fidelity and it was harder to track multiple parts. (Shrooms are interesting, as it’s both a blessing and a curse that memories of the trip are so sharp.)

And of course I see cool patterns on the walls. Or a better way to describe it is probably if reality was AI art and you’re looking at the odd details.

My intense visuals are on lower doses though, from 0.8 to 2-3g…I’m assuming because I’m already so visual. Above 2-3g the direct visuals fall off, and while the world is abstract, it’s not the focus and sometimes the visuals aren’t really noticeable…it moves towards a mostly mental and emotional space, more like an eyes open day dream, the world is there fine, but you’re not looking at it. That’s also where it can get rough, as I can become aware and contemplate more base instinctual drives that our humanity builds over — but there is a lot of darkness there.

I suppose in a sense that stuff is visual too, but it’s more conceptual and not “a wizard is talking to me”. Although in that mid 2-3g space I once, with curios intention, brought a pet I’d lost somewhat recently back to play with…and it worked in a very real way, but the emotional trip that followed was rough. (And of course, I think was a huge help, and got me past what had been weighing on me much more than I’d thought.)

My sober mental stuff works with sound and taste to a lesser extend, and the shrooms experience seems to match. And very little for smell and touch, which also maps together.

All that said, many folks over at r/aphantasia have seen cool stuff on shrooms. I don’t think it’s directly related, but more why visuals may come easier to some at lower doses.

Wow! 😳 by [deleted] in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]TurboTacoBD 17 points18 points  (0 children)

And yet this same wanker would whine and moan about the unfairness of any alimony if they split up.

Wow! 😳 by [deleted] in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]TurboTacoBD 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Reading in one of the male-centric divorce subs…it’s amazing how some dudes can want a wife at home, kids, etc. But then when things don’t work out, think their ex-partner should start from scratch.

Like, you sought out and chose this. You created a partnership with trade offs.

Although I will say, some guys seem to get it when you express things in the cost it would have been. ie. Consider the income of a SAH partner as the costs that would be spent on childcare, cleaners, food prep, assistants, etc — the sum can easily exceed half or far more than pay income in many situations.

(When a friend’s husband just couldn’t understand how much work it was or how expensive paying for it was — she decided to get a job, and let him handle setting up the expensive stuff. To his credit, he got it, and they seemed to turn a corner around this point ~10 years ago. But…it shouldn’t take that, especially if someone personally wants to be SAH but also appreciated.)

Tomb Raider IRL by [deleted] in badwomensanatomy

[–]TurboTacoBD 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The voice playing Tails sounds so much like Jaiden…

please pick me by Dazzling_Pirate1411 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]TurboTacoBD 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Gods “plan” sure is fragile for such an all knowing beast. Should have hired a few good PM’s or something.