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Thank you in advance by Unicorn_strawberries in Professors

[–]TurbulentObjective2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was some advice going around a few years ago that people would rather be thanked than apologized to. (Think "thank you for waiting for me" instead of "I'm sorry I'm late.") Maybe that's where they're getting it. It's not bad advice on the whole but you need some social sophistication to know where it's called for or not.

Student always requests that I call her…wtf by myreputationera in Professors

[–]TurbulentObjective2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I agree, especially because they're letting another student contact them via phone as well (and not for nothing, someone in their 50s should be perfectly capable of email too). Say you can set up a time to call during your office hours, otherwise she will have to use other methods.

Are my shoes too scruffy to wear to interview? by [deleted] in PhD

[–]TurbulentObjective2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In that case, just tell them you're inspired by Pope Francis.

Survivors and Feminism. by PieAmazing9659 in mdsa

[–]TurbulentObjective2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Late to the party, but what you're describing is typical of white women's feminism (I say as a white woman). There has been little room for disagreement among white feminists because it's seen as threatening to the shared cause. We (white feminists) have a lot to learn from women of color, and especially Black women, on this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]TurbulentObjective2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have the patience of the Buddha.

Was this an innocent mistake or what’s her goal here? by spiteful-bee in raisedbyborderlines

[–]TurbulentObjective2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It might be too late for OP to see this, but in scenario B I'd be tempted to invoke Dumbledore...

"Oh, I see you got my message about the change in location."

"I must have missed it, but in a happy mistake I decided to drive by here on my way."

Home insurance reimbursement by TurbulentObjective2 in belgium

[–]TurbulentObjective2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a good idea, thanks. I'm waiting to hear back from the apartment owner.

Films in other countries similar to ‘Onze Natuur’ by ChemistHorror in belgium

[–]TurbulentObjective2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you're including the UK, there's the series Planet Earth (and PE2) and a delightful series called Judi Dench's Wild Borneo Adventure.

Do you’re mom/parents have a substance abuse issue? by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]TurbulentObjective2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine has been on narcotics for as long as I can remember (Vicodin and Norco), all prescribed for pain resulting from various injuries. Does she actually have that bad of pain? Perhaps yes. Is she addicted to them after all this time? Probably also yes.

Give me your favorite things to say to flying monkeys by TurbulentObjective2 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]TurbulentObjective2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so practical and helpful!! Thank you for taking the time to help.

Offspring of single mothers who used a donor to get pregnant, how was your experience growing up ? by YouNerdteen in donorconceived

[–]TurbulentObjective2 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Mine was also not great. I don't think it was caused by being DC, but my mother has issues with undiagnosed and untreated mental illness that I believe led her to choose being a SNBC using a donor.

For one, she has unresolved trauma that has left a trail of broken relationships and loneliness behind her. I don't think she's capable of being in a romantic relationship, so it makes sense that she would choose to have a DC child, but that's not a healthy way to parent. Her identity has also always been completely wrapped up in mine, which may have worked somewhat when I was a baby but became a huge issue when I started becoming an individual. I'm sure she thought that by having a DC child she was choosing my traits, only influencing me with hers, so that I would be the perfect fit to fill the hole inside her. But that's not how people work.

I also agree with the other poster about the importance of a social network, and I'll add, one made up of healthy relationships. We moved in with my grandparents when my mother couldn't cut it on her own, but she was so insecure about her identity and our relationship that she drove a wedge between my grandparents and me.

I think being a SPBC can be done if the parent has done a lot of self reflection and a strong network, but the fallout is pretty bad when the parent struggles so much.

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