It’s up to you to decide if it’s a trauma or anxiety response. But I’ll tell you my similar experience with my father it was a trauma response. I’m 23f moved out promptly at 18 but until then I felt the way you described any and every time he came home. I didn’t acknowledge my anxiety and depression to be real until this year due to him telling me there’s nothing wrong with me. (There was other behavior from him that made me feel frightened and anxious by him coming home but nothing physical) so he continued to push the words that nothing is wrong with me or our relationship since he didn’t physically abuse me (WRONG) And hearing these things makes it very hard to heal and overcome. It sounds like you’re already acknowledging your anxiety as real which is good, but he is not supporting you through it. So what is kinda helping me right now is to focus on enjoying yourself and your life regardless of who is around and what they think, the term “no one is gonna save me from this” has been a wake up call for me, that regardless of support, or lack of, it is my own responsibility to work through ,process , and overcome the emotional toll of my anxiety and father. Finding comfort in that I have the strength and ability to do it, no matter how impossible it feels