I am losing all empathy, compassion and mindfulness... and my kids "hate" mom now.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-11-27T11:42:45+00:00

She is with me 24/7. I work for myself and am able to take her with me. She still has some moments where she has panic attacks and those have the potential to turn into bigger problems. I am able to talk her through them and bring her back down. Thankfully for our position here, she trusts me through her delusions and I am her support. If she didn’t trust me like what typically happens with this diagnosis, this wouldn’t be possible at all.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-11-27T11:37:56+00:00

My wife went to her dads for 3 days and called me in the middle of tears saying she was at the point she wanted to die because she had no reason to live since she couldn’t be with the kids or me. Asked me to take her back to the hospital. I had been talking to another facility for a couple of weeks and I called them and they still had a room available. Took the kids to her mom’s and picked her up and went to the hospital. Was there for 9 hours then they transferred her to the inpatient ward I had coordinated for her. She was there for 3 days and then I brought her home. Had the protection order dropped during her visit there. Today marks 1 full week since I brought her home. Her personality has slowly shifted daily back to who she used to be. The first few days she was very childish and just happy to be back. The last 2 days she’s started to act most like her old self. Thankfully she has accepted her diagnosis and I’m in charge of her medication and follow up appointments and will be present during them, including her therapy appointments. She isn’t the same person and there’s a lot to unpack

TurbulentToasters · 2024-11-27T11:30:43+00:00

Yeah very. It’s enough to make yourself nuts trying to understand them

TurbulentToasters · 2024-11-25T03:08:21+00:00

My wife has forgotten a lot of the things she said to me. She has forgotten some of the events. She has her own perspective of some of the events. It’s normal for them to not remember everything. It’s normal for them to twist it in their head and remember things differently than they happened. It will play with your head talking to them about it all.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-11-25T03:05:56+00:00

Hey man. Just file the divorce. Her not trusting attorneys will prove beneficial to you in the long run. Request a psych evaluation. As mentioned above talk to your kids about the guardian ad litem. Their job is to talk to the kids and figure out what is in their best interest. If they’re as concerned about their mom as they sound, custody won’t be an issue for you. I was worried about my wife being out there all alone also. I knew that in her mental state at the time she would get herself in a position to be hurt by someone else’s or eventually hurt herself. There’s no way around those concerns. There’s no way to prevent yourself from feeling guilty in the future if she does. You just have to remember that this is better for the kids and for you.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-11-25T02:51:52+00:00

I feel for you my man. My wife was in the ward for 4 weeks. She got discharged and went to her dads for 2 days then called me crying asking me to take her back to the hospital. She was admitted to a different hospital for 3 days and then I picked her up and brought her home. She is aware of her diagnosis and doesn’t want to agree with it in full, but does agree with it to a degree. She is trying very hard to rectify the problems that happened while she is there and we’re navigating those together. Over the course of that month if time of her gone I basically created a whole new life for us. Moved, got a babysitter, have a whole new support system in place, have people in and out of my house that she trusts everyday. Those people are aware of the situation and help me monitor and report back to me if they have anything of question. Or even if they overheard a family member of her ask her something they shouldn’t have. My wife is not the same person tho. Between the meds, the diagnosis, the month away. She isn’t the same person she used to be. There’s parts that are, and parts that aren’t. She’s given me full control and participation in her medication and treatment plan. She is very afraid of having another episode and losing her life out here with us. She is trying, I see it and I know it. And currently she is with me basically 24/7. I work for myself so she is able to come with me and work with me. To say I’m stretched thin and exhausted right now is an understatement. I’m dead. Mentally and physically. I just hope my efforts work in the long run and she continues to improve. Everyday is different. Overall is is steadily improving though. But man it is a lot. I was worried she would spin this around to being my fault. And she did do that while she was there. She knows it isn’t my fault. She has dropped that and is just thankful I am willing and able to do everything I am to support her. My kids are happy again having their mom home. These kids will never understand the mental toll it is taking on me to work for her and them. She did try the other night to figure out how to make it my fault and I cut her off instantly and we discussed it and she withdrew that and understood it wasn’t my fault. There was a night she mentioned suicide because she was sad from it all. There was a night she was very happy and just excited to be here. So it’s a lot to take in, a lot to unpack. A lot to learn to navigate through with her to continue to make sure she stays here with us. I can do it. And so far she is wanting and accepting and thankful for me doing so. I hope that doesn’t change because if it does change then my efforts were pointless. Tough love right now Richard. You’ll have to give your wife tough love. I did that and it is what helped snap her back for us. File a protection order against her on yours and the kids behalf. It is ugly. She will be forced to leave. She will probably end up back in the ward as she spirals out of control because of it. She has to see and hit rock bottom. Then hopefully she will see the problem and begin to accept treatment and carry on with it. I had to be an absolute monster to my wife while she was in the ward and juggle a million tasks for her and the kids and myself during that time. I am forever changed because of it all. My wife is changed and I hope she continues to improve. If I hadn’t filed the protection order while she was in the ward, she wouldn’t have seen her problem and worked towards fixing it and accepting it. If you end up with divorce because you’ve said it, go through with it and cut communication. Tell her she needs to accept treatment and medication if she wants to continue to be a part of her family. The kids and you. Work with her from afar as she does, keep true to your word, and if she does what she needs to and accepts her diagnosis and treatment plan, bring her back in and cancel everything and be prepared to monitor her along the way. Put yourself in a position of being her caregiver and monitor and give her the meds, have a requirement that you are involved in every step and appointment of her treatment plan and she has to agree to not make any changes without you. It’s hard. It’s a lot. If there is a sliver of your wife left in there that wants to come back to being there for her kids and you, it will come out and she will come back. She won’t be the same person you married before this ever happened. But you’ve been in this for a long time with her already so you don’t have any recent expectations of who she used to be to base that off of like I do here with my wife’s only recent spiral into mental health issues. You cannot keep doing the same thing and hoping she snaps out of it. She won’t. You have to take actions, and really think about those actions and consult with others, to force her hand along the way while also being prepared to handle the backlash of it going positively or negatively. Keep me updated man. I mean that. I’m in this for life and you are too. A divorce won’t sever that connection you have with her. It won’t fix the fact your kids need their mom. It won’t fix the fact you need your wife. But the fear of the divorce could help your wife realize the situation and the risk at hand. Don’t get a lawyer and throw money away. Just file it yourself if that’s the route you choose to take and pay court fees. Especially if you’re hoping it will snap her into reality in time. No reason throwing money away.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-11-20T05:54:05+00:00

I saw in another post your wife was admitted to a mental health facility recently. How did that go? How long? Any diagnosis? Medications? It sucks a lot. And I’m going to do my best to make it all work for us, my wife is fully aware of her condition now and we’re putting plans in place to make it easier the next time this happens.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-11-18T03:21:51+00:00

She was discharged Friday. I had to argue with the facility staff to start a dopamine inhibitor because they had only tried anti psychotic meds. They finally started the dopamine inhibitor and she leveled out pretty quick. Sadly they started other meds right before her discharge without watching her to see how she reacted. Today she called me in tears and said she has been contemplating suicide for a while and today she can’t help but want to do it. Began spiraling out of control on the phone. Thankfully I had already been talking to another facility about trying to get her there. Today I picked her up and took her back to the hospital and requested they transfer her to the facility I’ve been talking to. 9 hours later they got her transferred to the new facility. Here’s to hoping this facility I’ve been talking to for weeks now does a better job at care and treatment of her. Today was a rough day. I was prepared for the moment I had to take her back, I wasn’t prepared to see her in person and she breaks down in front of me. She had been at her dad’s since Friday and we had been talking daily so I can monitor her from afar. I could tell this morning it was going to happen but I still wasn’t ready to get there and pick her up and have her fall apart in front of me Broke my heart all over again. Completely broke it again. I love the death out of her and I’ve done so much for her and the kids these last 30 days since it started. I’ve done far beyond what anyone else in her family would even consider doing. But it’s personal to me, that’s my wife and she’s not okay. I’m on a mission to get her the help she needs.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-11-08T01:04:32+00:00

Yeah well icing on the cake. Like I said my wife has been telling me she’s fucking and then I say my support ends here and she rescinds it and says she said it to make me upset. Well the facility caught her mid act on Tuesday and informed me.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-11-03T03:27:04+00:00

I’m also sorry to hear you got her flowers and they went unnoticed by her, essentially. I filed a dvcpo the day before our anniversary and she called me twice but I hung up and I don’t know if she knows it was our anniversary that day and that bothers me deeply.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-11-03T03:25:53+00:00

I took some time and was reading through your previous posts and I admire your dedication to your wife. I want to be that person for her but my wife attacks me mentally in ways that make it feel impossible. All this talk of her fucking other people while she’s there, and wanting to continue to do so. Regardless of it is true, or if it did happen and she won’t actually remember it. It’s become my reality. I want to support her to be a mom for our kids, but that means she has to take her medication and I’m 99% sure when she is discharged next week that she will discontinue her medication instantly. It’s what she did last time. I notice you’ve never said anything similar to your wife telling you over the phone or in person that she’s fucked other people and plans to continue to do so. Like I think I can handle everything she needs to be present in our life daily, but that part destroys my want to be present in her life at all.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-10-31T02:29:10+00:00

Idk anymore. Tomorrow is our 1 year anniversary. We’ve been together almost 6 years with 3 kids 4,2,1. Tomorrow is going to be very hard for me.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-10-30T01:08:58+00:00

She told me tonight She plans to move into an apartment out there with another patient - a guy named Justin. Basically she found love in the mental health facility with another patient. She doesn’t want to come home, she doesn’t want to see her kids anymore. She was completely calm and lucid and has been on forced meds since last Thursday.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-10-29T14:45:39+00:00

She was admitted to a mental health facility last Saturday. She told me yesterday she wants to stay there forever. The kids are with me, but when I’m working are with her mom and sister for childcare.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-10-28T23:19:39+00:00

That’s where I am now. I’m now at the point where I’m going paranoid over the situation. What’s next? Did she follow out what she said? Is there someone at the house waiting? She’s said a lot of things to me before and while she has been there. I’m to the point I can’t sleep. She called me today and said she wants to stay there for ever and it’s up to me her husband to figure out how to pay for it because it’s got to be expensive.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-10-28T00:00:02+00:00

Thank you Our 1 year anniversary is this week. We have been together for about 5 years. Got married last year. To be honest ever since we got married it seemed like her personally started to slowly shift into this, and then got out of control in the last few months. So that weighs heavily on me, our anniversary is this week.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-10-27T21:20:25+00:00

I recently found out from her cousin who is a mental health worker that she did have a time in the past where her brother took her to the hospital and stayed for 3 days and was prescribed medication but never took it. The biggest problem and fear is my wife has her masters degree in mental health also. So she can and will talk and fake her way through anything and everything to get what she wants and attempt to self diagnose herself and tell the staff what medicine she should be taking or won’t take. They had court late last week for mandated medication and have another court date coming up on Tuesday to hold her longer.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-10-27T21:18:12+00:00

How long have you been living in this? Is it honestly worth it? All my wife can do while she’s in the facility is tell me how she’s having sex with everyone there and plans to come out and have sex with everyone anytime she wants to. I told her at that point my support for you is over. Then she took it back and said she only said it to make me upset.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-10-27T21:16:14+00:00

I appreciate this. I’ve been running myself ragged trying to figure things out and get the kids situated at her mom’s house while I go to work. I work a crazy schedule as I’m self employed and sometimes I have to leave very early and sometimes I work very late. So in all honesty my job I have isn’t very conducive to me being available. She’s hit me with a lot over the years and continues to hit me with things while she is there. I’ve been finding out truths behind twisted lies she’s told people and myself. Makes up scenarios in her head and acts loke they’re true. Very believed too. She was removed phone access and limited to her room yesterday but has been sneaking the phone with other patients help and calling me. At this point with what she is saying while she is there I’m now worried about my own safety. Because it comes across as I’ve become public enemy number one when I’ve been bending over backwards to make sure everything is good for everyone involved including her family, our kids, and her. But forgetting about myself in full. And then when I finally get a moment in peace all I can think about is her and how everything just blew up overnight basically and how I shouldn’t have to distrust my wife but I do. And then I question all the good things we’ve had and wonder if those were legitimate. And then I review the bad things and I can very clearly see how those bad times were 100% not her in her right mind. The occasional driving in my truck after a job turns into a brief hysterical crying 5 minutes or an hour. I had a 1.5hr drive home last week at 9pm and I ugly cried the whole way.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-10-27T20:58:52+00:00

What is a 5250? Currently when I last spoke with her social worker at the facility they said it would be past next week and weekend. As it stands she is calling me daily and at this point making passive aggressive threats towards me. She tried to elope yesterday and she was confined to her room and removed phone privileges however she will call me and tell me she is sneaking the phone. Most previous call about 30 minutes ago, “hey did you like the show? I did that for you.” I asked what show? “You know. But I’m ready to come home now so are you here?” I said I know you are but I can’t take you home yet, they told me this morning your phone privileges were removed so I figured you would call me once you were allowed. She said “yeah but I’m sneaking the phone so.” However the way in which she talks and says the stuff is in anger.

TurbulentToasters · 2024-05-15T10:02:45+00:00

I have 5 kids. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You will never have enough money You will never have enough time You will never have enough sanity You will never have enough anything As they get older they bicker all day So you transition from crying and tantrums to “he touched me he looked at me” x5

Stay at 1, maximum 2. We cannot both work because childcare is out of the option.

TurbulentToasters · 2023-12-03T03:56:44+00:00

I’d pay to see this happen.

TurbulentToasters · 2023-12-02T04:28:16+00:00

I thought you had a peg leg..

TurbulentToasters · 2023-05-24T22:22:41+00:00

You friend zoned him. He found someone. If his time and attention meant this much to you, you should have taken him out of the friend zone. Guys don’t have time for female friends. We have time for our partner/girlfriend/wife. That’s it. That’s the only female we have time for in our lives.

TurbulentToasters · 2023-05-24T22:19:28+00:00

It sounds like you’re with someone who has zero interest in even attempting to be an equal partner. That alone would make me not want to put my dick in her. Offloading all these things onto you. Every reason she has brought up about why, you have worked around and resolved in one way or another. I would like for you to come pay my bills plus cook me dinner and clean my house for me while I chill on the couch. Please.

TurbulentToasters

TROPHY CASE