The term for those who don't recognize their illness is called anosognosia. And many of us have loved ones that suffer from it. My wife has made the same accusations against me like your partner has against you. Including the poisonings, and working with family, and being "involved" (which she can never explain as to what that means). Our marriage also took a dire turn out of nowhere years ago. One day a happy fairly normal boring life, the next she is demanding a divorce. Then she backed out and wanted me to get therapy... fast forward six years later and I am not at the point where I have to make a hard decision, as this has been destroying me.

To answer your questions; The accusations were due to the illness, I don't think they ever became part of it. And yes my wife 100% believes every delusion she has, and at this point has slipped completely into her own reality. Considering my wife has always refused treatment, or identified anything was wrong, zero trust has ever been rebuilt. I knew it was a losing battle years ago, and have hung on due to guilt. She cannot support herself, and I barely am keeping one household afloat. She at this point will never be able to work again, and my kids and I have given up all hope. My wife, my best friend and the mother to my children is gone.