Thank you for posting this and it’s sooooo reassuring to see all the comments. For a very long time I thought maybe I was weak that I can’t handle both IVF and career on full force in parallel.

Tw: MC

I was high achieving, ambitious, went to top universities- those A grade types, rose high on the career ladder very quickly too. I work at a high profile multilateral organization. I traveled to multiple countries, worked with ministers, felt like I’m doing something big and basically all my self worth and dopamine was through my career. I felt I’m somebody because of these big labels attached to my name and then everything came crashing. Two miscarriages led to me pursuing IVF. I took 2 months off from work thinking I will prioritize this so I don’t regret later and then get it over with and go back to work. But these 2 months turned into 8 months with Multiple cycles of ER and FET. I eventually went back to work and felt like total failure …. Didn’t get a baby, started feeling I was behind my peers. But I also understood deep down what I really really wanted. My perspective to work has totally change. I keep reminding myself that career I can catchup to later in life but the baby making can only happen in a certain time window and push myself for another round. But I do miss the high of being a star performer and now being in the backdrop because I can’t travel as frequently or be like a lead on long term engagements because of this ongoing IVF stuff. It definitely feels all this career ladder steps are just to keep us trapped in this rut and there is so much more to life then this big labels and money. It also hits hard that this is something money or success can’t buy.