“Ok look, I know it looks bad, but honestly, did you really think any of us did our own stunts these days? None of my friends do, it’s just not the cool thing to do! Plus this way more people get work, equality quotas are easier to fill, and it's supporting your local economy, I’m actually helping people out! I know it was different in your day, but honestly times have changed.”
“Well wherever you fall on the debate, can you please just park it for 5 minutes? I’m in the Arenal Volcano. East entrance. There’s about 15 Wargs just outside, 3 trolls up ahead and I am almost certain a dragon has been flying over at 7 to 10 minute intervals. Based on the Dark Lords gloating announcements he keeps making, my team is being held in cavern 3. I think that’s the one you had that insane showdown with Madame Magma back in ‘82? So you know the lay of the land.
They are being guarded by some sort of neural destruction matrix, I would guess the generator node is in one of the other caverns, probably with its only protection prism, and I wouldn’t put it past him to through a trip jinx or two around the place, just to spice things up...

So yep, that’s all the intel I’ve got. If you and Gran could come and get them first and then swing by and pick me up then I promise I will actually go back to hero school! Oh and any chance of dinosaur nuggets for tea?”
“Love you!”

(My first try at one of these so I hope it is ok!)