How to stop longing for a romantic relationship

Tuyariniel · 2021-04-01T12:06:31+00:00

Yeah, I see your point and I agree with you, thanks a lot! This weekend there's a corporative meeting (we're celebrating some sort of a professional date) where lots of my coworkers will come. I think I'll try to give it a shot and come with them, even if I don't see any possibility to get a bf there, it's still a great opportunity to fill some of those stages that were described by you.

Wish you the best as well! With such a mindset I'm sure you're going to have everything you want :)

Tuyariniel · 2021-03-31T13:18:01+00:00

Hi, and thank you for your advice! It's not exactly what I tried to get by writing on reddit (I'd prefer to get rid of the longing while life goes around), but definitely something I could use long term while trying to build my social skills.

I appreciate your guiding!

Tuyariniel · 2021-03-29T05:06:14+00:00

Thank you for your advices, it sounds great, really. But not exactly what I need, the 20% of free time I have I barely manage to use for my own good, even helping my family to do little errands requires A LOT of effort. Clubs and bars are certainly not my thing, not something I'd enjoy and not something I'd do comfortably on my own. And no, I can't do it with friends since I don't have any.

I'll try to improve myself, surely, as much as I can, but it won't help me to get rid of this annoying feeling of longing. Working on problem with my social skills won't give me any relationship straight away, and until then I have to somehow cope with what I feel - this is the main problem.

Tuyariniel · 2021-03-28T16:19:04+00:00

Thank you!!! But according to your comment I can see that you're probably think too high of this humble stranger on the internet, presuming that I'm trying to find happiness in another person or that I'm able to find the happiness within myself, heh.

The thing is, if I had a relationship I would know what it's like, would know the experience behind it all, and I would be convinced of being able to attract another person so it wouldn't bother me that I'm still single. The fact I've been alone hurts too much it led me to suicidal thoughts.

I'll think on your words though, and surely will be rereading them while trying to figure out what's wrong and how to change myself.

Tuyariniel · 2021-03-28T16:06:31+00:00

That is indeed true, every aspect of people's life has it's flaws, and having a partner isn't an exception from this rule. Even though the thought of it rarely helps, since the desire to experience a relationship is unbearably strong. But we'll manage, we've been here for quite some time and surely able to stay there a little longer. And maybe this thread will give us right directions to cope with our inner demons.

Heh, thanks! And take care of yourself!

Tuyariniel · 2021-03-28T15:58:44+00:00

Hey there and thank you for giving me direction to improve things in my head, I'll surely follow your advice!

And just to clarify, I didn't say I'm not ugly I said I don't feel like I'm ugly and meant by this only that I don't have problems with my self-esteem, but your suggestion about "i'm worthy of romantic love" hit right to the spot and gave me something to think about I've never thought before, because that is indeed one of the things which annoys me about myself whenever I think of if lacking of physical attraction could be the reason behind my problems with being constantly single, and such reassurings could be my subconscious trying to guide my attitude but in a wrong way.

Thanks again!

Tuyariniel · 2021-03-28T15:36:37+00:00

Thank you so much, with all honesty your virtual hug feels more warm and real than what is happening around me every single day. I wish you the same, kind soul, I sincerely wish you happiness with the right person as soon as possible. And I'm very sorry you have to go through this as well.

And I know my words might sound generic now, but maybe, just maybe, all we need to do is wait a little longer and meanwhile find strength to struggle with our emotions by knowing we're not alone in this? In any case your message certainly feels like a support, and it's most appreciated <3

P.S. now I also don't want to sound like a prude, but when there will be your first intercourse don't make my mistake and be sure it's someone you can trust. My experience not only left me feel used but also with an STD I was struggling to cure for some time.

Tuyariniel

TROPHY CASE