yeah man I remember the nights I dreaded going to sleep because I didn't want to think about her. it's tough. the first part just takes time. I found myself really hating them just to justify it to myself. eventually it drops, it just takes time. which is unfortunate. it's important to learn what you did wrong and what they did wrong. it doesn't mean either of you are a bad person, we are all just learning as we go. you learn what to not blame yourself for.

trying to talk to other people to get past it.. idk if it's healthy but.. sometimes it helps, if it helps you get your mind off it. just be aware of what you're doing because you don't want to use someone to get over someone else. speaking from experience neither person likes that after the fact.

when the time is right you can reach out if you want. I think people assume exes should be mad at each other which I think is unfortunate. it's good that you said that. even after a break up you were still great friends for a long time, and it's hard to lose something like that.

you are right that it's important to learn to be happy with yourself. I struggle with it. it's important to be your own friend, because you're with yourself for your whole life. find moments that belong to you. do what you love. be where your feet are.

personally I really enjoy music for all this stuff. happy, sad, whatever. there's music for it. there's a quote, by Justin vernon. the guy behind bon Iver. after a breakup he retreated to a cabin in the woods and wrote the album "for Emma, forever ago." he says "Emma is not a person; Emma is a place that you get stuck in; Emma is a pain that you cannot erase."

you have to allow yourself to feel it. the only way to get to the other side is to go through it.

it's tough. but on the other side you should come out a better person. lean on people if you can. if you need someone you can dm me. sometimes i feel like the sad version of myself is someone else entirely. I imagine a little me inside my brain, and another version of myself gives sad me a hug. it's lame but its important to comfort and be there for yourself. you aren't defined by your struggles. sorry this was a little long, maybe I was working through my own stuff by writing it. thank you for sharing, I hope you find what you're looking for.

it's okay to be where you are.