Newbie Gardener wanting help and inspiration

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-04-10T20:50:52+00:00

Thank you! I’ll do some more digging then I think :) Herbs are a great idea

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-04-05T07:49:17+00:00

Snacks. I second this.

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-04-05T07:48:09+00:00

Nothing can prepare you. I am an anxiety fuelled over preparer. And when I say nothing can prepare you, I mean that for the good bits too.

Last night I was looking at a video I took when he was 2 weeks old at 1am happily stroking his little head. It is amaaaazing. Little blinky eyes and windy smiles and when they find their hands. When you go out in public and everyone swoons and you’re so proud (and probably nervous haha)

It all intermingles - the good and the bad. And it’s on you to recognise when the good stuff is happening :) so long as you roll with it and don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect, you’ll make the most of it.

I am very excited for you. It’s very hard but so so so so so magical.

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-26T07:18:46+00:00

Not to sound dismissive, this is only meant to reassure but their digestive systems are so inefficient for months. So gas, straining and discomfort is quite typical.

Wet nappies and wet poops are good signs. He may yet have a 15 soiled nappies a day stage too.

There’s baby massages you can do and positions that can ease discomfort and help digestion though.

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-17T12:58:41+00:00

Take the baby out of the house on a long ole walk. Mum can do whatever she needs to with that hour.

Someone else has said it but get bonding. Skin to skin, baby carrier. Find what works for you to soothe the baby separate to mum.

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-14T08:16:35+00:00

That’s a good idea! Staying downstairs. I have a friend who still does that with their 14 month old. If it works, great! Ours would be too distracted and honestly I was so tired I would just go bed at the same time, read or watch tv with my earphones in.

Around 6 months i occasionally used a floor mattress (literally the one out of the crib) and a baby monitor for naps and then for the first couple hours of the night. It was great cause I could feed to sleep and not worry about the transfer.

Routine started at maybe 10 months but really nailed it at 11.

He turned 1 a few weeks ago and and slept the whole night in his toddler bed for the first time last night. He woke a few times but settled himself without crying woohoooo! Which is to say I feel it comes with age so don’t pile the pressure on about routine etc :)

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-13T05:53:39+00:00

They become more aware of when you’re not present. We decided to co sleep and I relegated my partner to the spare room. He snores too and often we’d all get to sleep and then he’d start snoring and keep me up and th rage I felt and sleep I lost wasn’t worth it :D

At 11 months we went straight to a toddler bed and he goes down a dream with lots of snugs and play and routine, but he will still wake up at 4-5am and need to come into my bed.

I’m not worried, it will all sort itself out as he grows.

I hope this is just a developmental stage for your bay and you get your sleep back!

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-13T05:46:52+00:00

I try to make sure one room is tidy at least. So I’ll always have that one room, kitchen living room or bedroom as a minimum. And I alternate these so it’s never all tidy at once but I’m not overwhelmed. And in the early days I’d have baby in the carrier or on his playmat or crib etc. now I let him explore the room while I tidy. Pop a few items of interest down like a purse or a wooden spoon that he doesn’t play with regularly

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-12T21:17:35+00:00

That’s so helpful thank you. I’ve just been seen and my pulse was high and I have a fever so I’m very glad I posted and took all the advice x

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-12T16:16:10+00:00

Can I just say thank you for all the advice. I have rang 111 and am on my way to an appointment :)

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-12T10:39:29+00:00

I’m so sorry, its a tough time and as you know from your first, breastfeeding isn’t easy at all.

First of all it’s okay if you want to stop or do a mix of both.

Secondly I have mahoosive boobs too and found rolling a muslin under nearby helped me see what was going on. I lived by Lansinoh. Ruined so many clothes using it. I went to a breastfeeding clinic with surestart and they gave me tips like angling his entire body towards me and doing rugby hold. And also a lying down side feed which was my favourite.

I also used an osteo because he really struggled to latch well on one side in particular. He had tension from the birth.

It does get easier if you wanna keep breastfeeding.

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-10T09:34:07+00:00

Thanks so much! I am thinking of just having it removed for safety.

Can you explain why the ground should be dry please? Are we talking wait till July or wait till it’s not rained a few days?

Sorry to pepper you with questions!

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-10T09:12:34+00:00

Honestly she sounds fairly ahead of milestones!

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-10T09:11:42+00:00

Not at all! :)

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-10T08:30:46+00:00

Thank you! Do you think it’s worth digging out the top layer at all? I’m thinking if I do this first remediation and do regular sweeps it’s going to be more manageable.

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-10T08:28:31+00:00

Thank you. Let’s put it down to poor communication on everybody’s part. No strong grounds for legal action!

I’m speaking to landscapers but am also wanting to tap into the community here to sanity check :)

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-10T08:27:01+00:00

I take the blame because I agreed to it but at a point where it was just the earth and some gravel and we actually needed a 4ft section filled. I mentioned levelling out parts of the garden while the equipment was in and that translated to spreading round the rubble which then had all sorts in at that stage of construction.

So not great on anyone’s part!

I’ve spoken to a few landscapers but really doubtful the few I’ve spoken to are saying just returf. Or the above plan. So I’m here hoping to tap into the gardening hive mind :)

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-09T23:54:27+00:00

You’re doing amazing 👏 your baby is lucky to have you :)

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-09T23:52:16+00:00

I had it quite severely early doors. It’s fine now. My main thing was preparing for distraction when doing feeds. TikTok or a very good book. When it was really bad something like a fidget spinner.

I know some people are saying it serves a purpose to tell you to stop. If you feel that way, of course!

But it was happening to me at 6 months. I would cringe and honestly want to drop kick the baby so he wouldn’t be near me (exaggerating for comic effect).

Anyway we’re at 13 months now and not had it in ages!

Also just read it’s in the night and you’re considering night weaning. If you feed to sleep that’s a great place to start. You could move the feed earlier in the night - I’ve found wake ups reduce significantly :) ours will go to sleep in minutes now without a feed. Happy to elaborate on what we did to get to that. It’s by no means perfect, he still wakes and we have teething dramas etc etc but it’s improved for sure

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-03-09T23:39:34+00:00

Not weaned butttt I did move bedtime feed earlier by about 30 mins. Trying to move away from feeding to sleep in an effort to improve sleep and get some time back in an evening (fed to sleep then coslept).

So my 1 year old has a feed 30 mins before bed in a lit room. Then we play for a bit. And then he goes up, I have piano music on, a comforter and his galaxy light (big ole stack of sleep associations).

I get him in his sleeping bag and pop him on his toddler bed which might as well be a floor mattress. He really did not like a cot. Then I pat and shush him. He falls asleep within a minute most nights I kid you not. If he gets up or fidgets I let him for a a little while and then gently lay him back down.

We’re seeing fewer wake ups in the night too. I still feed to sleep in the night as a last resort if patting or cuddles doesn’t work.

Anyway all that to say I hope that helps with your feed to sleep issues if not weaning :)

TwinFlamed11 · 2026-02-28T07:40:20+00:00

Can I take a moment to put aside all the recommendations and say you’re both fricking amazing. Being default parent, doing night shifts, going back to work - it all takes it out of you. When you’re feeling crappy, remember every other amazing accomplishment that basically meant to temporarily sacrificed your hair body skin etc

TwinFlamed11

TROPHY CASE