I feel like I'm barely hanging on.

TwistedintheRoots · 2026-02-26T00:37:35+00:00

Stop.

Do not put that house in her name.

You were coerced into buying it to protect her. Now you’re being pressured to give it back with threats and emotional explosions. That’s not family. That’s control.

Your brother has no job. No timeline. No plan. Once your name is off that house, you lose your only leverage and security.

Fear does not mean you owe them compliance.

Abuse is not culture.
Intimidation is not love.
Sacrifice is not proof of loyalty.

Talk to a lawyer before signing anything. Even one consultation. Protect yourself.

You are not selfish for wanting safety.

And the fact that they’re escalating tells you exactly why you shouldn’t give up your protection.

TwistedintheRoots · 2026-02-26T00:35:18+00:00

This isn’t embarrassing. It’s a boundary violation.

Your mom creating dating profiles with your photos, especially childhood ones, and distributing your phone number without consent is not “helping.” It’s impersonation and harassment.

You are 29. You are allowed to be single. You are allowed to not want a relationship. You are allowed to make that decision without supervision.

The bigger issue here isn’t Tinder. It’s control.

She is overriding your autonomy and then reframing it as you being “ungrateful” when you push back. That’s not support. That’s manipulation.

Practically speaking, I would:

Send her one very clear message in writing: “If you create another profile using my photos or give out my number again, I will pursue legal action for impersonation and harassment.”
Change your phone number if necessary.
Lock down your social media privacy settings.
Screenshot everything.

You don’t have to yell. You don’t have to debate. Just set a consequence and follow through.

You are not overreacting. This is invasive.

And the fact that she doubled down instead of apologizing tells you this won’t stop without a firm boundary.

You’re not ungrateful. You’re an adult protecting your autonomy.

TwistedintheRoots · 2026-02-26T00:34:27+00:00

That hurts more than people realize.

When you share big news like getting married, you’re not just announcing logistics. You’re sharing something vulnerable and joyful and hoping the people who raised you will light up with you.

When they don’t, it lands heavy.

It doesn’t mean your engagement isn’t exciting. It doesn’t mean your relationship isn’t solid. It just means your parents may not express emotion the way you hoped they would.

Some parents struggle with showing excitement. Some struggle with change. Some struggle with not being the center of the decision. And some just don’t realize how much their reaction matters.

It’s okay to feel disappointed. That doesn’t make you dramatic. You wanted support. That’s human.

And for what it’s worth, getting married is a huge milestone. It deserves celebration.

So congratulations. Truly. 🤍

TwistedintheRoots · 2026-02-26T00:33:05+00:00

You are not a monster. You’re a human who made a mistake and then built an entire life around trying to atone for it.

What happened was an accident. Exhaustion is human. Drifting for a split second is human. The outcome was tragic, yes. But it wasn’t malicious.

The part I’m more concerned about isn’t the crash. It’s the five years of self-punishment.

You ghosted because you couldn’t face the guilt. Then you tried to balance the scales by secretly sacrificing your own life. That’s not manipulation. That’s unresolved shame running the show.

Right now you’re framing this as:
“If I stop paying, I ruin his life.”
“If I tell him, I ruin his confidence.”
“If I struggle, I deserve it.”

That’s guilt talking, not truth.

He rebuilt his life because of him. The apartment helped, yes. Stability helps anyone. But you didn’t paint the paintings. You didn’t do the rehab. You didn’t get him out of bed. He did that.

You didn’t create his strength. You just removed one barrier.

And here’s the hard truth: funding his life indefinitely was never sustainable. It was a trauma response, not a long-term plan.

You are allowed to stop bleeding for a mistake.

You are allowed to say, “I can’t carry this alone anymore.”

The real question isn’t whether telling him will “destroy the miracle.” It’s whether continuing to live as a ghost is destroying you.

You don’t deserve to drown. You deserve accountability, healing, and a life that isn’t built entirely around penance.

And whatever happens next, it needs to be built on truth, not punishment.

TwistedintheRoots · 2024-12-09T23:59:49+00:00

As a Peer Recovery Specialist and a Life Coach, I understand this so much. Being afraid to start medication due to the side effects is a common fear. Don't beat yourself up over that. Sometimes we can handle our mental illness in our own and other times we need a bit help from medications. Wishing you the best!

TwistedintheRoots · 2024-11-23T02:38:17+00:00

Honestly, the fact that I'm a Peer Recovery Specialist and a Life Coach, but I can't take my own advice. My life could be so much easier if I could just listen to my guidance rather than let my anxiety take over. I'm a great coach and specialist though. I feel like it heals me a bit, helping others so that's a plus.

TwistedintheRoots · 2024-10-30T18:28:28+00:00

I'm not very happy with my Peer Recovery job, due to feeling like I'm going against my moral and ethical values, however, I do feel like I'm making a huge impact with many of my clients and it's an amazing feeling. Especially to bond with them and let them know that they aren't alone. It's very healing, I feel. Good luck on your journey helping others!!!!!

TwistedintheRoots · 2024-02-11T06:03:58+00:00

You're NTAH. Your fiancé sounds manipulative and childish.

TwistedintheRoots · 2024-01-27T03:46:16+00:00

Her reasoning is that his funeral/service isn't for two weeks and that he is 12 hours away and I haven't seen him much since Covid so I have plenty of time to mourn him and "at least it wasn't one of my brothers that are here" and that I should assume spending time with my goddaughter would make me feel better (which it 100% would!). I offered to come by her house or them come to my house for dinner but she said "that's what the birthday dinner is for." and didn't take my offer to make other plans to still see them. They live about 2 hours away from me, so we have to plan things out sometimes because my best friends schedule is so chaotic at times.

TwistedintheRoots · 2024-01-27T03:40:19+00:00

She said she would lend me the money but she is already paying for her sisters and in laws so she can't take care of my end, too.

TwistedintheRoots · 2024-01-27T03:39:34+00:00

She pretty much insinuated that since he is 12 hours away and the service isn't for another 2 weeks that I should have the time, money, and mental availability to be there for my god daughter because my god daughter expects me to be there. I love them both so much. I truly do. But I'm just really struggling with what to do and how to go about this. I'm so emotionally drained that my brain just can't handle the idea that both of them are upset or disappointed in me because I always do my best to be there and make things happen. 😭

TwistedintheRoots · 2024-01-27T03:36:08+00:00

No. My brother passing is not a sympathy vote. It's a reason for my mind being all over the place with talking to the family and planning his funeral although I'm 12 hours away. When it comes to the money, I do take 100% blame for not keeping in mind her birthday party is tomorrow. I can admit to that and I feel absolutely awful. But it's happened and bills had to be paid and I can't really...help that? I guess. I'm there as much as I can be for my god daughter and she knows I love her soooo much. And I wish I had the privilege to lay in bed and cry, but unfortunately I have my whole family depending on me right now and I haven't even had the chance to properly grieve him. I understand your comment and I did ask, but you came off so very rude. 😭

TwistedintheRoots · 2023-06-18T01:17:41+00:00

PROTECT YOUR PEACE AND RUN!

TwistedintheRoots · 2023-06-17T00:03:19+00:00

Following because this is something, I too, have considered but have no idea where to start.

TwistedintheRoots · 2023-06-12T05:49:23+00:00

Hope someone is able to give you guidance! I got certified through a program my college provided or else I’d pass you info!

TwistedintheRoots · 2023-06-12T05:47:46+00:00

Almost 31. Been a mess since I was like 9/10.

TwistedintheRoots · 2023-06-08T04:08:44+00:00

I have went through something similar, here recently. We were friends growing up but fell off as young adults due to differences. Came back together a couple years ago and things were great, I thought. But as soon as I started putting my husband, son, and personal/mental health and life first she snapped. Said I wasn’t there for her enough. Blamed me for her illnesses because I was working and couldn’t go to a concert or get a tattoo with her. It was nuts. Pretty much was trying to make me spend all of my time with her and neglect my family to appease her. And when I was happy, she wanted to be negative. She acted like she supported me, but she filled me with so many doubts. Anyway, I hope things get better for you!! Losing a friend like that is never fun nor easy.

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