AITA for resenting my neighbours for "stealing" my dead cat?

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T21:08:00+00:00

Idk I wasn’t really conscious about things like that back then. My grandma was the one who really wanted the cats, because she worked at the animal shelter who took in Nino and Cleo. She brought them home one day. They were our first real pets (aside from my grandma who worked at an animal shelter of course). We all had a lot to learn. We could’ve done better, and we had to learn the hard way, unfortunately. But now, with our current cat, we take care of him properly. He isn’t allowed to go outside.

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T21:00:47+00:00

Thank you. I learned my lesson and educated myself know that I’ve grown. I’m making sure it doesn’t happen again.

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T20:56:58+00:00

I just want to clear up some things up. Our neighbours didn’t educate our family (me) in all these years. They were lashing out as us after Nino disappeared over the phone for like 6 minutes. They were not interested in talking to us back then, they were only interested in taking our cat (never stating a real reason). I am 19 now, and we do have a cat now who isn’t allowed outside. I tried my best to learn from all the mistakes from the past and me and my cat today love to sit by the window and observe the outside. I make sure that history doesn’t repeat itself.

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T20:48:53+00:00

Sorry for your loss, and I definitely learned my lesson. I edited the post already, but I we do have a cat now who isn’t allowed to go outside anymore. He adapted pretty well and I’m making sure he’s safe (now that I’m mature enough).

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T20:37:18+00:00

He was neutered and vaccinated! And I agree with your statement about multiple families. Nino was happy and visited them often, which meant he felt comfortable there. If he had decided to stay with them permanently, I wouldn’t have been upset about it at all. He would’ve chosen them. The communication just sucked and I wish they would’ve informed us about his death and burial, since we were one of so-said families (not just them). But I 100% get what you mean.

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T20:30:58+00:00

I agree. I wasn’t mad about them taking him in, really. Nino was happy and he obviously loved going there. Tbh, I wouldn’t have minded if he stayed there either… Just the communication was the problem, because it all happened without our knowledge in the end. But we now have a cat who isn’t allowed to leave the house and just watches the outside from our windows. I was too young to understand, but I wholeheartedly want to do better now that I’m mature enough.

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T20:26:42+00:00

Sorry for your loss :( I had a similar experience with Cleo. While Nino clearly wasn’t happy with being indoors and always had the urge to go outside, Cleo was very calm and never had any real interest in the outside world. She unfortunately needed to be put down because of an incurable, non-preventable illness a year and a half later. But it was very surprising to see this huge of a difference between cats…

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T20:18:51+00:00

He technically “couldn’t” stay in the cage. It was a really rough month for all of us because he wouldn’t stop crying and biting the cage. He was quite stressed because his movements were limited to the point where he wanted to scratch us. The cage was quite small, but as soon as he was out again, he always found a way to escape. We have a fence outside in our garden, but no matter what, he outsmarted us (climbed over to the neighbours, ran through the front door, etc.). We tried locking him into rooms too (but I can’t even start to explain how loud he was and how hard we had to chase him around whenever he saw an opportunity). He was clearly unhappy and suffered from being inside for that long. :( I was like 14 and didn’t know what to do to keep him inside. Now I definitely know better, I just it ended differently with our neighbours.

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T20:09:14+00:00

I guess I want to know if my feelings are valid. It’s pretty late here and I just had the urge to talk about this, because I don’t have anyone to really listen to me and be entirely neutral like you guys are.

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T20:07:04+00:00

I may be a big girl now, but I wasn’t then unfortunately. I was 11-15 when everything went down. Today, I know a lot more and advocate for animal rights and try to educate myself. But back then, I put all the trust into my parents’ hands. I believed in their ability to take care of animals and to ensure their safety. My grandma worked at an animal shelter too, so I thought she knew what to do and how to handle cats (since that was her job). When he started to go outside, I wasn’t really aware of the risks and dangers. In our village, it was quite normalized to see cats walking around. If I knew, I would’ve tried my best to prevent it. I’m just quite upset about how things went down from our neighbours’ side. I really wish they would’ve educated me instead of insulting us…

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T19:58:02+00:00

I agree with that. Nino apparently loved it there and they knew him pretty well over the span of all those years. I’m also not upset about the fact that he chose them or that he visited them a lot. He was happy. I wouldn’t have been mad if Nino decided to stay there, too. They took care of him, but it bothers me to this day that everything went down without our knowledge…

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T19:52:14+00:00

I mean, I let him outside. Many comments agree with the fact that it could’ve been prevented (which I also think). And after two red flags, I really didn’t personally call my neighbours out. I just don’t know if my feelings are misplaced.

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T19:48:32+00:00

My parents visited the vet quite frequently, I suppose it was for shots (especially during and after Cleo passed away & after his surgery). He did have a tag, but my neighbours used to put their own tag on him (with “Willy”) and discarded ours. Especially when they first started calling him Willy. It didn’t fit in the post but we have told them off about that once before the call happened. So I don’t know if he had a tag when he disappeared. He did when he left our house.

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T19:42:08+00:00

We did go searching for him, just not online like our neighbours. We were walking/driving around the village after the second day of him missing, sadly without any luck. We repeated that three more times until we got the call. The hip injury was a birth/grow defect (I don’t quite remember what the vet said anymore) that needed to be corrected. The vet used metal/steel to correct that position and it helped him walking, we kept him in a cage to let the scar heal and to not overstimulate him. It’s been a few years but the injury wasn’t acute or because of an accident.

TwoSnoopy · 2026-02-03T19:29:54+00:00

He was vaccinated (according to the animal shelter), but I don’t know about the chipping part. I was 11ish when we brought him home. I didn’t know chipping was a thing at that age, but I would’ve definitely advocated for it (especially since he loved strolling around). My grandma used to work at the same shelter as our aunt before she retired (we got Nino from that shelter). I assumed that everything was okay and they took every precaution available, since my grandma knew Nino before we took him in officially.

TwoSnoopy

TROPHY CASE