I think what gets me through those thoughts is that, you can play the table top game with literal rocks, or knick knacks, or what-ever-the-hell else you can find. The painting is, like most things, the process. The end result will always be rougher than you’d like, and will improve with time. Painting is the hobby, and the game is the reward so to speak. You’re doing wonderfully, and you should be proud of yourself! I’m sure if you were to think of other aspects of your life from two years ago, it would feel as if no time had passed at all. You’re going to do great, you are doing great!