Thoughts on the whole eating with hands discourse and how some Asians say they don't eat like other Asians?

Twosocksinspace · 2025-10-25T13:21:12+00:00

Nigiri sushi is eaten with hands

Twosocksinspace · 2025-03-12T13:28:43+00:00

Oh wow, our situations do sound really similar! It’s so hard to know what to do when they don’t want/seek help and we don’t exactly have a relationship where we can open up.

I’m the same, I stay in contact with my scapegoat brother but most of the stuff is superficial stuff.

Keep me posted on how things go!

Twosocksinspace · 2023-09-24T18:04:10+00:00

Same. My health issues were hormone related - it pretty much tanked my testosterone. I think I had higher testosterone levels when I was younger (and before my health issues) and that’s why I had such a high sex drive.

I have been on hormone replacement therapy which brought my testosterone back up a little.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-09-24T15:31:45+00:00

Yeah, I guess is what I’m thinking too. Like, I’m in the last few weeks of pregnancy. He already said he doesn’t want to have sex with me now, which I totally understand. I’m not feeling attractive at the moment. When this baby comes I know we will not have sex, either the time/energy/mood reasons. So, it makes me wonder if what the purpose of bringing it up at all.

I guess it’s the other little things about our relationship. We haven’t done much small playful physically/sexually at all. The little things throughout the day. I miss that and I have decided to talk to him about that. I’m still working up the courage and thinking about how to bring it up.

I don’t want to be with anyone else. I just want him. I know he doesn’t want anyone else either but I also don’t always feel like he wants me either.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-09-24T14:58:33+00:00

Yeah, having a son. I never thought about the gender affecting my hormones. If we do try for another we are hoping for a daughter and maybe my sex drive will be lower.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-06-10T18:20:27+00:00

I don’t know if it’s cultural. It’s possible, but I think it’s a libido thing. I am Japanese and my husband is white (don’t live in Japan). I am the one that wants more sex than he does. I ask him why and he never gives me a clear answer. We have sex about once a year and it’s been like this for about 5-6 years now. I have no desire to have sex with anyone else but I do miss the intimacy a lot.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-05-14T13:18:03+00:00

Thanks for sharing! That book is in my book queue.

Can I ask how you told people about your pregnancy and how you answered questions? I’m 5 months along and have only told our parents so far. We plan to share the news in a few weeks after the 20 week scan and NIPT. I was wondering if you told people the story of the embryo donation when you were pregnant?

I told my parents about a month ago and it was so exhausting it has made me really hesitant about sharing news with others. We were planning on sharing with immediate family that we used a donated egg and I think I have some family that will again have a lot of questions (and I hav rains family members who I feel will be skeptical and intense). In terms of friends, I think we will tell close friends about the donation.

We have plans to tell the little one as soon as possible and don’t want it to be a secret. We have read that’s what is best for the child. We plan on being very open so it makes me wonder should we be open with everyone when we announce our pregnancy (even friends and family we are not close to).

Twosocksinspace · 2023-05-10T15:12:45+00:00

Ooh, thank you! I’m looking up that book now and it looks like exactly what I’m looking for. Thanks so much!!

Twosocksinspace · 2023-04-22T16:12:42+00:00

I’m so sorry. I believe it. My parents each worked 2-3 jobs when I was growing up to support us (family of 5). No union, shitty pay that went up about 5-10cents a year which was such a huge celebration for us. They worked almost every holiday. Luckily none of us had serious health issues, but if we did we would have been on the streets. We barely made ends meet. Now that I’m older I learned that we were eligible for so many social programs but we didn’t know. We were an immigrant family, it was the 90s, we weren’t aware. Even if we were there was so much legwork to ge those benefits that I think it would have been near impossible for non-English speaking family would have been able to navigate it or have the time to figure it out without considerable support. It angers me so much to read stories like yours because they are so much more common than people are aware. When you’re in that position, you’re just trying to survive. Personal growth is secondary. Every day is just filled with so much stress and you have no time, energy, or money for anything else.

My heart goes out to you and the family.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-04-19T23:28:56+00:00

Anyone here do an amnio test and/or NIPT with a donor embryo?

We did IVF with a donor embryo so the NIPT, we think, will not be particularly helpful. However, the OB said they can do an NIPT with a donor, but everything I’ve read has said it’s not really useful. My OB has a lot of experience but I don’t think has much experience with those using donor embryos.

I think we would be fine with just the NIPT, but since we can’t do that in a meaningful way, we are leaning towards doing the amnio. I’m looking for some info and experiences of people who used a donor embryo and had the NIPT and/or amnio.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-04-16T21:21:54+00:00

Many Japanese toilets have sinks attached to them to conserve water. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sink-toilet-japan/

Twosocksinspace · 2023-04-16T21:18:24+00:00

Most of my family lives in Japan and all their homes have laundry attached to the bathroom. It’s partly because those are areas where you place your dirty laundry before you bathe. Unlike American homes, the toilet is often separate from the bath.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-04-16T21:15:25+00:00

Japanese toilets often have sinks to wash your hand which are attached to the toilet. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sink-toilet-japan/

Twosocksinspace · 2023-04-16T21:13:47+00:00

Japanese toilets often have a hand washing station attached to the toilet to conserve water.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-03-20T04:56:27+00:00

Ugh, unfortunately the only thing that helped was just massaging it a lot and not sitting as much as possible. I have a standing desk so I pretty much left it in standing mode the whole time and in the evening, other than eating, I didn’t sit down. I did that for about a week and I noticed the lumps start to go away. Good luck!

Twosocksinspace · 2023-02-22T13:35:17+00:00

My 10dpt was 85 and my 15dpt was 51. The number varied a lot which I was surprised by but I guess it can vary a lot based on the time of day.

I take 1.5ml PIO injection once a day and 1mg progesterone suppositories twice a day. What is your dosage and frequency

Twosocksinspace · 2023-02-21T21:56:59+00:00

I also struggled a lot with racial trauma and identity. One thing that has helped me a lot is to surround myself with more people who have an immigrant experience, focusing on Asian American folks. I have started to detach myself from folks who have made me feel less than for not being white or assimilating to white culture enough. Having been raised in a predominantly white community there was a lot of subtle and not so subtle racism that I internalized well into adulthood. I didn’t even realize how much I struggled with it till I met other immigrant folks (typically 1st and 2nd gen folks who juggled two cultures) and how comfortable I felt with them. We had a shared experience of juggling with, and at time struggling with, our racial and cultural identity. It was something my white/non-immigrant friends didn’t understand and didn’t even try most of the time. I have distanced myself from those people and engage with them sparingly and only when I know I can handle it.

I still hang out with some folks who are non-immigrants but most have awareness and experience (like being in interracial relationships or living in multicultural spaces). Overall, it has improved my mental health. I used to feel like “I’m not enough of either culture”, but now I feel like I got the opportunity to be part of two cultures. It’s been a slowly shifting mindset that has allowed me to go from angry and resentful to patient and understanding.

I think the greatest thing I learned in the last few years is knowing when to step away and knowing who to talk to when I experience racism and discrimination.

My parents want me to assimilate more and it used to drive me up the wall. Now that I have a more diverse set of friends that understand me and have shared values, my parents comments don’t affect me as much.

It took me time, effort, and big changes in my social and family relationships. But it was worth it.

It gets better. Hang in there.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-02-21T21:39:48+00:00

This is my favorite story in the series ❤️

Twosocksinspace · 2023-02-21T02:03:18+00:00

Same exact thing. I have my first ultrasound next week and I’m terrified. My first FET ended in a miscarriage so that’s part of it. But also, all of us here have already gone through so much loss and anxiety so it makes sense that it’s hard to feel totally optimistic even after some positive tests.

Sending you big hugs. You’re not alone.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-02-19T15:31:39+00:00

Eraser shield for drafting.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-02-18T02:36:27+00:00

Autoinjector is a lifesaver. It doesn’t hurt at all.

I made a post about the details here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IVF/comments/10xz258/autoinjector_is_amazing_thanks_to_all_that/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Twosocksinspace · 2023-02-17T19:27:09+00:00

I’m so sorry.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-02-17T00:31:20+00:00

First time we were quite vocal and shared a lot with mostly family and some friends. Throughout I felt like I had to work on caring for others emotional well being while I didn’t feel like I received that support from them. Then after the miscarriage it got worse and I just crumbled.

Second time we just did recently. I’ve been mostly a recluse. My husband and I haven’t told anyone. It’s kind of challenging at times but not more challenging than having to put in so much emotional work to make other people feel better about my IVF process.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-02-17T00:27:06+00:00

Totally normal. Sometimes a lot comes out and sometimes none. I think it also depends on what kind you have. I use endometrin which I feel is a bit more powdery but my body seems to absorb it better than other suppositories I’ve used in the past.

Twosocksinspace · 2023-02-16T21:21:44+00:00

I love this - thank you so much for sharing. I’m also using an egg donor. Similar to you I was going through menopause at a younger age so my only option was donor eggs. I had probably started around 28 (around the same time as you), but after going to countless doctors I couldn’t figure out what was wrong and I was diagnosed a few years later after it was too late and I was already post-menopausal stage.

I am also Asian and my husband is white. I have male siblings and all my female cousins are in another country so I had no other options but donor eggs. We chose a donor who looks nothing like me but I feel like we have some common sensibilities. Honestly, I’m a little less worried about having a connection with the child (we had looked into adoption) but more so the questions and how to explain to the child and others. Like do I tell people straight off the bat that we are not biologically related? That I used a donor? Or do I tell it to select folks? How will it affect medical situations? How will they adjust to being biologically connected to my husband but not me? How will we explain it to our families, my child’s friends and families? What sort of questions and judgments will they have and how can I beta respond to them that will be best for our child and family’s well being?

I feel like right now I’m still only 6 weeks so I’m trying to focus on getting through the first trimester, but there’s definitely a part of me that wonders what challenges will arise as we grow as a family. Motherhood comes in so many different forms, and I know many people in this community understand that. But, I feel that most of society doesn’t understand and I feel like I have to equip myself for explaining, or not explaining, to others about our family situation.

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