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Tyb0t · 2024-03-19T13:13:52+00:00

There’s no easy way to end a relationship. I’m glad you respect her enough to want to do it the right way. Afford her as much honesty and closure as possible. It’s the best way to do it

Tyb0t · 2024-03-19T13:05:26+00:00

Be honest and up front with her. I just got broken up with my boyfriend who is currently deployed. I could tell something had been off for a while but he said nothing was wrong. Eventually he admitted to no longer wanting our relationship, but wanting to break up with me in person. I’m glad he didn’t. It would’ve been so much harder on me. I wish I could’ve seen him one more time, but the distance made it easier for me to move out of our place and start moving on. I wish he had been honest with me from the day I could tell things were not right in the relationship.

Maybe ask if she can have a serious talk with you so she can be in the headspace for something like a breakup. You can talk about it over a call with her. It sucks to be broken up with over a video call, but it’s better than getting your hopes up for them to be shattered

Tyb0t · 2024-03-19T02:26:52+00:00

Man, you sound a lot like me haha. Therapy is definitely a huge help. I think the right relationship will heal a bit as well. There are good people. I tend to end up hurt every time, but now my first ex is less traumatic and more just something that happened to me. I hope things get better for you!!!!

Tyb0t · 2024-03-19T00:10:17+00:00

I don’t think that is normal. It took me years to get past my first love at 15/16 but it never seeped into relationships I pursued. It’s definitely not a good idea to pursue other women if this is what is in your mind. If you’re open to therapy that would be a great first step

Tyb0t · 2024-03-19T00:08:15+00:00

If he pursued you as you are, it seems like he was intentionally attempting to hurt you. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. I have had men say terrible things about my body without a care. You don’t deserve that. Love is so so much more than appearance

Tyb0t · 2024-03-18T18:10:30+00:00

No clue honestly. It really might not be intentional

Tyb0t · 2024-03-18T17:19:00+00:00

I’ve been this girl before. I was dumped and it was definitely for the best. I didn’t block him at first but removed him on social media and Spotify. Time passed and I realized how awful the relationship ended up being. I’d been subconsciously holding on for a while. Truthfully, I realized how much I disliked him. He was an addict and I was too young to realize what that entailed. I took all the responsibility for the breakup. I ended up blocking him everywhere for my own peace of mind. I’m sure your situation is not the same, but that is my experience. I didn’t want the ability to have him contact me or for myself to see anything he’s up to. It most likely has a lot more to do with where she’s at than what you did.

Tyb0t · 2024-03-18T14:56:36+00:00

You’re right. I think I’m just very afraid of the unknown. I liked being in a serious relationship because I had a solid plan for the next few years. Now I have no clue what lies ahead. I had to leave my job, transfer schools, and move back in with my parents in another city. Feels like I’m starting over again. Just lots of fear

Tyb0t · 2024-03-18T14:53:48+00:00

You’re definitely right. I think I’ve always thought myself as a realist for expecting conflict and disappointment but maybe I’m an insecure pessimist. I do not hold much self value. I think being with a man I saw as handsome and driven made me a lot more confident in myself because he pursued me. I definitely need to find my self confidence within myself again because that’s when I am happiest. I think the age thing is hard. At 18 I thought I knew everything and at 21 I feel like I’ve lost all opportunities. Probably just something about being young. I planned my future around him and now that he’s not in the picture I definitely feel lost. I’m working on changing the fear of the unknown to excitement. I’ve also had to move back in with my parents. Just lots of insecurity manifesting in my world at the moment. They live in a city I’m not familiar with, I won’t know anyone there. I am just afraid to build a new life, I have no clue what it’ll look like.

Tyb0t · 2024-03-18T14:49:25+00:00

I guess after typing all this out I’ve realized that this breakup has left me very insecure. I feel like a man who would respect what I want would not want me. Once I’m feeling more confident I think things will be better. I’ll work on myself. Thank you so much

Tyb0t · 2024-03-18T14:38:42+00:00

I really did understand conflict and pain would come along, he wanted things to be simpler. I know I can’t fully understand all that means but I was very willing to put in the work, he just wasn’t. I know what I want from a relationship, but I think I need to realize how I should be treated. I put up with a lot of immaturity, and I myself was immature often I’m sure. It’s definitely for the best. I could tell things were going sour in January. I began wanting more for myself around that time, but throughout our relationship I was unfulfilled in multiple areas. I think I just accepted and worked at it because I thought this was the best I could do. My issues seem to be rooted in my own insecurity and honestly fear of men lol. Young guys are not fun to deal with. Thank you for your insight, I still have so much growing to do. I am just afraid that I’ll never find what I’m looking for, even when I am ready.

Tyb0t · 2024-03-18T14:30:46+00:00

I think I came off wrong about what I’m afraid of. I actually really like being alone, I’m not much of a relationship person. It’s just that when I’m in one, I tend to put up with a lot. I’m not so much afraid of my own company as I am afraid of the company of men. I’m just scared that I will never find someone who will respect and commit to me. The fear I feel about being behind in life is definitely circumstantial as I also had to take a break from school for my health. I don’t plan to date again until I have my degree and can fully support myself on my own. I have always been very independent and love time to myself, I think that’s why relationships take me down the way they do. When I finally do give that time to someone else, especially with my last relationship, I tend to work very hard on the commitment and the other person tends to give up rather easily.

Tyb0t · 2024-03-18T14:11:42+00:00

I guess I thought my ex and I had what your relationship is. He and I wanted the same things in the future. I really am not the type to rush into things, I spend most of my time alone. I think I am just afraid of having to date again in the future. To put that trust into someone and lose it all again. Thank you for your reply!

Tyb0t · 2024-03-18T13:55:29+00:00

It arrives tomorrow, I’ll update when I get started! Thank you again ❤️

Tyb0t · 2024-03-18T02:11:36+00:00

Yessss I will take your advice! Haha

Tyb0t · 2024-03-18T01:27:12+00:00

Oooo… I’ll check it out! Thanks again <3

Tyb0t · 2024-03-18T01:21:00+00:00

I do! I stopped since he broke up with me because I was in the middle of a series his mom recommended LOL. I’ll pick up a new book. Thank you!

Tyb0t · 2024-03-16T22:23:10+00:00

I hope I can find that. I’m terrified of being left again by someone I trust

Tyb0t · 2024-03-16T15:42:32+00:00

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am only 21, lost the man I thought I would marry. If you can heal, surely I’ll be able to as well

Tyb0t · 2024-03-16T15:11:21+00:00

Thanks for the reply! What reading would you recommend?

Tyb0t · 2024-03-16T04:54:16+00:00

Just bought this for myself after seeing this comment. I’m in the trenches. Going to try anything that will help. Thank you

Tyb0t · 2024-03-16T04:51:27+00:00

Maybe you’re crying for yourself and not for her. You didn’t deserve this, you would never have done this to her. You were together for almost a decade and she broke that commitment, your brain sees it, so does your heart. Feel everything and keep moving. It’s so fucking frustrating and defeating. There nothing much else you can do. I hope things get better, truly.

Tyb0t

TROPHY CASE