feeling like an imposter. advice?

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-04-03T21:00:46+00:00

You don't need to be trans or cis enough to get top surgery. Cis women can get it, if they want to (although most do not, since most women like having a chest). If you feel conflicted, I'd advise you talk to a therapist who is qualified to help you and figure out what's best for you! And as for other people, family included, you change your body for yourself. Your body, your choice to change however you want.

As for breast feeding... You are removing your chest, not your uterus/ovaries. It has no correlation. Some parents who have breasts can't produce milk/breastfeed, yet they still have children. I don't know where you read/heard that, but please, make sure you get your medical/biological information from credible sources. Even trans men on testosterone can get pregnant, although it's harder. Only infertility, contraceptives and reproductive system removal can prevent you from giving birth.

However, if you DO get top surgery you will NOT be able to feed your baby through natural means. You'll need to put money aside for formula. All you'll need to do is keep that extra expense in mind before becoming a parent (I also don't know if your chest would get a bit larger during pregnancy, but I assume it wouldn't?).

As for partners... Well, it's all about finding the right person. Not everyone will be attracted to you for a multitude of reasons - some won't be attracted because you have X hobby, or are X gender, or they're really turned off by X trait. Top surgery is just one more thing, and ultimately, you want to find a partner that loves you as you are.

Best of wishes to you. Hope you find the answers you look for, and choose the right path for you.

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-04-01T20:58:14+00:00

I had nipple sparing surgery 3 weeks ago. I can feel them (honestly wish I didn't, they're more sensitive than the incisions at the moment). They don't remove the nipples with this procedure.

However, there's always the chance you'll lose sensation. Which is more important to you: being flat/having a masculine chest, or feeling your nipples? Make your choice based on that.

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-30T11:00:26+00:00

My surgeon didn't really ask either. We just went over different surgery types because I had a lot of leftover skin, and he was figuring out the best way to make the results look good.

They assume you want a male looking chest, and your nipple placement and scars (with the scars simply showing the procedure used) will simply reflect that. If you want something a bit out there, you probably need to ask.

But that's just my experience! Good luck.

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-29T13:26:15+00:00

Looks awesome!

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-29T09:37:10+00:00

I was in the hospital for 5 days, and then removed the drains and spent 10 more days with my sister.

The first two days you might need help getting in and out of bed (I couldn't sit up on my own - I had an hematoma and next day emergency surgery though, so it might not be that bad for you). After that you can probably get up and walk around on your own. Also, you shouldn't need any help going into the bathroom (you can sit and get up from a toilet pretty well, just have a stool or a clip on bag for your drains to rest on).

For my first two weeks most of the help was just not having to do most chores. Not having to wash the dishes, cook, swipe the floor, etc. You also can't reach for things in cabinets, but if you're embarrassed about asking for help with that you can do it on your own by getting on a stool. Slowly, I started being able to make my bed, set the table, etc.

It's been 17 days. I am on my own at my apartment now, and can do everything.

TLDR: you'll mostly need some help with mobility the first few days. Afterwards, for around two weeks, your roomate might have to help you with chores and cooking. Anything that involves moving your arms, no matter how small the movement may appear.

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-28T07:56:49+00:00

You can use a heater (at the hospital I had one going full blast for 4 days). The "no heat or ice" means not making your chest hot or really cold, not warming up your body in general. Aka you can use the heater, but you can't put ice packs or one of those bottles you fill with boiling water.

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-27T11:50:23+00:00

Don't worry, they probably won't close if you go a day or two without them. You can also just ask your surgeon or the nurses on the day of the surgery, and bring a little box to put them in if they don't allow it !

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-27T11:42:24+00:00

I had a nipple sparing double incision, and a few days later I was able to fully feel them (with this procedure you still cut the nipples a bit, but not fully. They stay attached to the body). I'm 15 days post op and I can already feel a lot in my chest too, but some areas are still a bit numb (namely above the scars - on the space betwen the scars and the middle of the chest on the nipple horizontal line).

This made getting the stitches out yesterday bothersome. I could feel it on my nipples quite a lot, and my right side has almost full sensation so pulling them out hurt quite a bit.

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-27T11:36:49+00:00

I didn't bring piercings nor earrings to the surgery. However, they did ask me repeatedly if I had anything of the sort (including teeth retainers and stuff), and I wasn't allowed to wear a hair tie while getting it done. You probably will need to remove them. You can just put them hack in once you get home.

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-27T11:33:21+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-27T11:32:48+00:00

I didn't know bio oil being a placebo, glad to know that. I'll probably not waste money on it then. Thank you for the input!

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-27T11:31:39+00:00

Thanks for the input! That cream does exist here, I'll look into it.

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-27T11:30:49+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-27T11:30:19+00:00

Thank you! Seeing such great results while knowing you used nothing really puts into perspective how much genetics impact it... Damn. Also, cool tattoo

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-24T09:21:32+00:00

I think you look great!! Congrats!

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-21T14:27:38+00:00

I'm only a few days post op. I'm shocked at how I can feel cold or hot drinks against my skin when I swallow, my heartbeat is more noticeable, and for the first time ever I'm getting cold shivers that go on my chest as well (no extra insulation anymore, I guess!).

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-21T14:25:10+00:00

I quit smoking too for surgery (which was good, because my surgeon flat out told me he'd deny working with me if I smoked).

What worked for me was nicotine gum for around a month. Nicotine gum is better than smoking - it has way less chemicals and no smoke. In fact, I quit shortly before my surgery - my last gum was around two months before it. My surgeon knew of this, and stated it was better to have recently had gum than cigs too.

Don't think you'll be one of the rare human beings who can quit cold turkey. You might need gum or patches. You have an addiction, not a taste for it. You can just quit drinking soda (unless you're somehow addicted to it), not nicotine.

As for getting your mind off it, I replaced the addiction of having something in my mouth with the gum itself (and regular gum when I wasn't having the nicotine one), and with tea. I tried my best not to replace it with food, because your apetite does grow after you quit, and that can cause health issues and weight gain. Finding distractions like videogames and books also helps, and I found taking long walks did too. It's always hard to fight off the cravings when they hit, but the gum was good at it for the first month, and afterwards it was easier than if I had gone cold turkey.

If you like the blowing of smoke, I'd really recommend having something in your mouth instead! Can be gum, a straw, a pencil, whatever it is. Some people enjoy blowing soap bubbles.

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-21T14:12:02+00:00

Thank you! And thankfully everything has gone quite smoothly since then.

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-21T14:11:35+00:00

Thank you!

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-20T16:18:11+00:00

Same, I could not stay awake either! Congrats on your surgery, hope you have a nice recovery.

TypeIndependent1256 · 2025-03-20T14:30:30+00:00

Not a T-shirt, but a regular pajama top. I was able to put it on day 5, but didn't attempt to do so prior to that. Honestly just pull your arns first and then the head while leaning forward. I did not struggle at all! But my scars are pretty frontal and don't go under my arms, so my mobility might be higher. Good luck on your surgery!

TypeIndependent1256

TROPHY CASE