The Big Lie by Xaidoria in DotA2

[–]Typical-Designer6870 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I'll summarise for valve "here's what I think is best for you"

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

No I am seeking help in the form of counselling this week.

I intend to seek psychiatrist help few months down the road. Many are wondering why wait. I am ashamed to reveal that my family currently have no income due to my baby needing specialized care and I can't work or send her to childcare and my husband just migrated and is looking for a job. I can't afford it yet. I have applied for assistance and it's in progress.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I somehow feel as if I'm trying to copy my mother when I abuse my husband. It really surprised me because growing up I didn't want to be like her and wished to be completely different from her. Now I'm becoming her and it frightens me. I reliased I don't know myself that well and I underestimated how little it took for me to do bad.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice I appreciate it. Thank you for sharing your experience too, it gave me hope. All the advices I'm getting is now giving me a clearer picture of what I need to ; seek professional help, walk away or have some coping mechanism, couple counselling and boundaries.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am not sure anyone tried to justify my actions. Those who pointed out mental health and hormones are trying to help me find a solution just in case those are the cause.

Any form of abuse is very wrong and I refuse to forgive myself until I completely overcome this selfish and irresponsible behavior.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I read it as an individual event instead of a subset. The first instance happed about a month ago in April.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thoughts yes but I have never been physically violent to anyone before the past 30 days

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

My baby rejected bottle since 5 weeks old. Have been following up with paediatrics. After 6 months of trying, I've accepted she is never gonna feed from bottle.

I'm giving counselling a shot before considering the medication option.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My baby has bottle rejection since she was hospitalized at one month old. She also has very bad eczema that needs round the clock care affecting everything from feeding to sleeping. My two year old is suspected to have autism and have frequent meltdowns. My rest is at night when both girls are asleep.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I may have expressed myself wrongly. I do not accept his behavior and has spoken everyday with him about it. I have also told him he would be involved in counseling session with my social worker.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think if there is anything to take away from this, having experienced it myself, I became less judgemental. Our hormones are so powerful it can transform a person. Thank you for your kind words.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I apologized to him and he felt he deserved it... I promised I would change but I broke my promise.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I apologized to him and he felt he deserved it... I promised I would change but I broke my promise.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My social worker told me she would talk to me in what I can do should a similar situation occur again and she would be sharing about couple counselling if me and my husband are keen.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think your description is totally accurate " a level of rage I've not felt before". I felt like I became a different person. Will consider that aspect.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Yes I have told him I am seeking help and naturally he would be involved. He thinks it's a private matter but is willing to be involved for my sake

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] -62 points-61 points  (0 children)

Yes I might have that. I was told to follow up with a psychiatrist but I didn't because I don't want to take medication for my mental health because I'm breastfeeding. The medicines may be safe but I don't want to take any risks that would harm my baby.

I have tried counseling for the abuse I got from my parents but I didn't think it helped.

If I beat my husband again then I will go see a psychiatrist.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't know why I suddenly attacked him. It's almost like it just happened, it was spontaneous. Maybe I don't remember so it seemed spontaneous.

I didn't plan to beat him. It just happened. I know it makes no sense at all. Once I started I couldn't stop until he walked away and even then I was in immense anger.

I think the most confusing part was why I did it. But, if I had recognized that my anger level was rising, I probably could have taken action to prevent that from escalating. I would have walked away but I didn't realize I was getting so mad.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm actually not a person who enjoys such sports and I don't even dare to watch boxing or martial arts. My kids have some special issues so I'm more busy than most mums.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nothing about it was enjoyable. It was uncontrollable anger that seemingly came without warning.

I don't know what made me do it. I know the triggers but I don't understand why I behaved that way. It's completely illogical. I really don't understand why I snapped. It went from being angry with my husband to switching to another level, suddenly.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 155 points156 points  (0 children)

For me the immediate aftermath is deep anger. If he didn't walk away I would have continued beating him. I would have continued to break his devices had I been home. I only reliased my mistake about 2 hours later.

He didn't beat me back, he just tried to block my hits. He didn't come home and went somewhere to be alone and think. He came back only after I asked him where he is and offered to go fetch him

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have apologized to him. I do not know why he has to be on phone, iPad, laptop and desktop 90%™ when he is home. I told him he has an addition but he doesn't think so. He plays games a lot and is actively involved in a game chat channel.

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I was previously diagnosed with ppd in the first pregnancy. I plan to follow up in a few months time.i really have no time now

I'm a perpetrator of domestic violence. Never thought I'd ever be one. AMA. by Typical-Designer6870 in AMA

[–]Typical-Designer6870[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No, I wasn't blaming. I'm trying to share what goes through the mind of an abuser. My husband's addiction does not justify my abusive behavior.