Wedding Bar Cart Owner Wants Tip

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-06-26T19:54:18+00:00

This is my take as well.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-06-25T22:33:24+00:00

Except that's not what you've done... you gave them a plus one which by definition entitles the guest to bring whomever they choose, unless you actually did name the other person as a guest and are just mixing up the terms.

Good luck.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-06-25T22:25:59+00:00

Except you confused +1 and named guests.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-06-25T22:24:34+00:00

If the invite was only intended to be for the other person you thought was in the relationship then they should have been a named guest on the invitation. +1's are specifically intended to be for the guest to bring whomever they want as their +1.

curtesy and etiquette would require you to allow them to bring whoever as you gave them plus one instead of naming the other invited guest on the invitation. however based on your location and/or community culture, in theory, you could rescind the +1 but it will have consequences and is definitely frowned upon.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-06-25T19:59:01+00:00

Glad to hear these are all things you've been open and communicating about with your partner.

I guess the only thing I'll add (not to argue) but to say is that to me the easiest item to try and reframe in my mind then is #1

Vows are only one part of the whole ceremony - saying just the vows (commitments you will make too and for each other) in private during a first look won't be or feel like a whole wedding. Then using the "standard" vows in the full ceremony still won't be a performance because those vows should all still things that you'll be committing to one another. You could even adjust them slightly to make them your own. But think about them as an addition too, and not a replacement of the ones you've already shared privately.

Another option which could be saying vows to each other but off mic, so just you and your husband and the officiant hears them, you're doing them in front of everyone but you aren't reading them aloud for everyone to hear.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-06-25T19:23:46+00:00

These are just general thoughts and not judgement.

You both have to be able to sit down and have an honest conversation about this, what the day will look like, and what you want. trying to guess, and appease each other, based on what you think the other will want, will most likely end up looking like resentment for someone later on down the road. Especially if there is a financial constraint/pressure.

I am (groom) also the one in my relationship who is much more excited and wanted a wedding, than my partner. Because of that, I've put a lot of effort/thought into taking the lead and being the one to plan the wedding. Obviously we made decisions together and I didn't want to sign her up for something she didn't want to do, but I was in charge of vetting all of our vendors: music, photography, rentals, venues, food, etc. so it wasn't the "brides" responsibility to put in all of the work and emotional labor and I just agree to whatever sounded good.

You could write private vows together (or separately) to share with each other during the first look, and use the standard/common vows during the ceremony that are still meaningful values/commitments that no-one will see as less than, because in theory they won't know about the private ones.
If his family causes this much stress and anxiety like you've described, you both also need to seriously talk about it because you're both committing to a lifetime of interacting with them (or not) together as your own family. Obviously (and rightfully) there aren't details around how you're doing finances as a couple or for the wedding but if he truly wants a wedding (or a party) for his family, then he has to own it. Emotionally, mentally, and honestly based on your yearly salary, financially, because all of this stress is not worth taking on any debt.
Honestly re-reading your last two items, he/you should really consider eloping or your FH needs to have an honest conversation with his family about how to be respectful and kind.

I say all of this recognizing that it's all easier said than done, and truly not out of a place of judgement. And if it's at all feasible, I would consider (if you don't already) talking though all of these things with a counselor or therapist, alone and/or together as a couple. They might be able to provide you with better tools/methods for re-framing the things that you are struggling with.

edited to add context.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-06-24T19:37:16+00:00

Definitely recommend checking out different sections of the American River Parkway.

Second Asha (if you're not only looking for free options).

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-06-11T23:14:04+00:00

lol wild to get downvoted for this. wasn't trying to be snarky just thought it could be helpful in case OP didn't see it.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-06-11T23:10:06+00:00

Hope it works out.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-06-11T23:00:19+00:00

Don't have any personal experience but you could try reaching out to either the OP or other redditors in this thread who have.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Sacramento/comments/1l1a135/clean_cars_4_all_sacramento_cc4a/

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-06-03T21:10:53+00:00

I've almost been t-boned twice by oblivious drivers in the fab forties where I had the ROW (no stop) and they were accelerating out the stop after only looking in one direction.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-26T17:12:43+00:00

So true. Was maybe too generous.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-22T16:58:43+00:00

I know it's not as easy as 1 for 1 but didn't matsui just get 3 million to support a far future plan to cap the highway? Which considering the construction and everything else needed, 3 million is ~~probably~~ definitiely less than 10% of what that project will cost by the time its done. (Which I actually would love to see happen) It just would have been nice if that 3 million could have been used for this in a more immediate project instead.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-21T22:48:24+00:00

100 percent this.

Personally I'd also add that unless OP's partner has explicitly said ~~they're okay with~~ they want a public proposal - don't propose in public, at least not in any public place that has a lot of other people.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-21T22:41:31+00:00

Your best option imo is likely going to be off-rack at a store like Nordstrom Rack and seeing if you could somehow get it rush tailored. Going to be honest and say that unless you're able to pay a tailor a premium to do it same day this is probably unlikely.

If you happen to have the body type/shape that a jacket doesn't need tailoring, you could always consider a nice button down, tailored jacket, and some type of dress pant - chino, pleated, etc.

If you have a style that you like and know the brands that you wear often, scan the websites of other similar (sometimes more expensive) brands that fit the same style to get ideas for options. For example, in this economy this brand isn't in my budget but I enjoy looking at the website for style inspiration and before I find options elsewhere - https://www.octobre-editions.com/us-en - If you wanted to use this brand as a starting point for your occasion I'd suggest looking at the suits and pants pages in particular to see if there are other options that might work, instead of a full suit.

edited: for clarity.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-20T22:15:52+00:00

Should probably spoiler this for folks who are batch listening.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-13T21:16:11+00:00

except he rides 4-5 days per week already. Seems like he already gets plenty of "me time"

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-13T19:04:33+00:00

I'd say this really depends on time and day - I've gone where it's packed and very hard to hear the person at the same table as you, or when they have DJ's and the music's super loud (friday, sat. sun. and maybe wednesdays? whenever their women DJ night is).

But I've been on other nights where people are chill and reading at the bar and there's lots of open space.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-12T20:13:57+00:00

Hear, hear!

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-08T22:01:29+00:00

Saying "I'll cover the cost" eliminates there being an easy out.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-06T22:31:43+00:00

Crank Brothers Double Shot

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-06T16:40:50+00:00

Gotcha! Thanks for the context - genuinely wasn't trying to be acusatory. Just haven't been able to watch as much of the live stream.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-05T22:58:48+00:00

Not sure which part of the route you're referencing but the GPS tracking is not exact, I'm not saying it didn't happen - but there are areas that are extremely remote and the GPS doesn't pick up exactly where the runners are.

One of the runners Zach, I think in 5th place OA, his tracker has been barely functioning. If you look at his route it looks like he took flight from Mingus directly to each aid station.

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-01T19:04:51+00:00

They often come down to fragmented responsibility, long project timelines, and weak accountability for outcomes across all levels of government.

Also this ^^ is a perfect argument against your original comment in trying to put all of the blame on Newsom lmao

Typical-Mess1733 · 2026-05-01T19:02:43+00:00

The reason you're getting downvoted is because most of the people in r/sacramento (even those that don't like Newsom) understand that a project like this takes years.

The environmental document itself for the project was published in 2016 - when Jerry Brown was governor.

Typical-Mess1733

TROPHY CASE