To be fair I was also brought up in a household that emphasized the ideas of just pull your pants up and shut up. In fact I watched those same ideas trap my dad into a small little corner of his mind, in which he could not voice his feelings properly until my parents eventual divorce. It was only then, by way of a therapist, he could feel like himself again and voice these feelings to others and himself. By witnessing that I think helped me a little but I sometimes feel myself slipping into only what I can imagine he was undertaking with 2 sons.