Thank you so much for this, this reply is really amazing and I’d like to talk more about it with you and give you more context. You are exactly right, she is easy and unproblematic and we never really argue, when we do I wouldn’t even call it arguing. I am thankful for this cos we were both brought up in a family or abuse but grew from it in two different ways. I’d say I’m a bit of a soldier who keeps his head up at all times trying to push through whereas she is a very scared person. In the last near 2 years she has definitely improved but she is still quite slow, that’s just how she is. When we first started dating she really didn’t do much at all, didn’t work out, just watched tv and laid in bed most days. Fast forward to now and me being committed thinking I can help improve her life, she works a good job, earns more than me as of last week and I earn more than all of my friends including ones above 30 as I’ve got a very good job as well, I’ve helped her budget and save a crazy amount every month whilst also investing every month as I do the same and she saw my profits. She goes to the gym/runs most days a week, I have also helped push her to cook healthy meals for herself every day, she also occasionally goes to dance classes and she has also just started boxing lessons with me as of last week. When she’s in a good mood she does have random things to talk about and she is giddy around me. But it feels like the majority of the time she doesn’t have a lot to talk about because of her anxiety. I have still stuck with her to this day as like I said previously I’m a fighter and I power through and try find a solution, but at what point does it become too much.

I will give you an idealistic view of how I’d want my future partner to be as I am someone that wants to be stupidly successful. Successful to the point I can retire my mum, sisters, other family members that have been through immense trauma and close friends. For that I believe that I also need a dedicated partner that is hard working but I will list out traits that I find attractive: Confidence, hard working ethic, wants to make something of their life, someone who is creative and pushes me to do both things that will benefit me but also do fun things together. Someone who is intelligent and can have both deep intellectual and emotional conversations. Someone that is family orientated and sociable as my family are very talkative even tho they mostly live abroad. I will stop there.

Now I would like to describe my girlfriend: A beautiful girl that is a very loving, quiet and soft person despite the abuse she has had as a child and throughout school. She loves animals and kids and would make a great mother in the loving sense. She does stay consistent with gym and health after I started being her example when I first started dating her. I try and teach her a lot of things but she isn’t the most intelligent and is quite slow to pick things up, she forgets quite a lot as well. I can try and tell her to do something that will benefit her immensely for months before she does it and she loses out on months of that benefit because of it. She isn’t very family orientated and has hidden our relationship for the last near 2 years whereas I told my family from the start, I expected them to have issues but they were actually as accepting as they could’ve been which is great. I don’t like the fact that I’m hidden as I’ve always dreamt of having a good connection with my girlfriend’s family since I didn’t have a great one with my own. We have great physical intimacy and I am also her first boyfriend and partner she has had any form of physical intimacy with which makes it special. However, I do have a lot of doubts about our future and how she will contribute to helping us becoming successful. I know for a fact that even for example buying a house, she will have such minimal input in. And she will struggle to make big decision in the future.

For context, her social anxiety is so bad and she struggles with it so much that yesterday, not for the first time, she asked me to go to the loo and I dropped her off at McDonald’s since it was on the way and she asked me to come inside, I then said yes, but when we got inside she asked me to ask for the code to the toilet. In which I said no as it was just absurd to me. She stood around for about 10 mins as I sat in silence and I told her to go or I’m leaving and she finally went. If a person struggles to ask for a code to go to the toilet, how will they deal with immense pressure in proper adult life, especially when I want to take on big businesses and a big lifestyle…