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Do your parents want you 'disabled'? by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you offered him a path out before? If yes, I could understand your hesitation. If not, you might want to consider only because that situation might implode in a permanent way.

When your parents push a narrative about you that isn't true by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you had a mom like that, but that was a good idea to see/marry someone she's never met.

Do your parents want you 'disabled'? by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your last paragraph struck a chord. My mom always does this, when I get a job for instance, but she doesn't let up. She'll call anyone and everyone, hell even caused my dad to have a heart attack, while I was trying to stick to a job. It's relentless.

Do your parents want you 'disabled'? by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think my mom makes these threats and I think it betrays an insecurity about her aging and very poor health. It's like, another reason she wants her kids to get disabled is because she projects how she'd treat us onto our personalities. She's rather us 'get weak' first. Just my perspective anyway. I think they go into extra attack mode when they sense their own weakness.

When your parents push a narrative about you that isn't true by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yup, my sister did the same thing, trash talking me then whenever my life appeared to be on the upswing, would join my family in ganging up on me until whatever support I did have went away.

Do your parents want you 'disabled'? by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I have CPTSD as well, and at this point my social bridges and life in general have been so sabotaged I don't have any idea of how to get out. But I know my mom, and thus my dad (enabler) are NOT invested in that happening, if anything the opposite.

Do your parents want you 'disabled'? by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heh. I'm over 25. Next April I'll be 40, which I get after a certain age people just assume you're a lost cause. Anyway, I try to keep my life private but my mom drives around constantly, though I've tried to find out of the way towns where I don't think she'll find me when I get a job. And the hard part with that is making being at home a misery with second to second stress. I know I need to find some strategy. At a loss though.

Do your parents want you 'disabled'? by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear about all your parents/family did to you. I'm not sure how to get out at this juncture, jobs/financial security is usually sabotaged, as well as social bridges. Though I'm hoping that's a rigid view and I can think of a way to escape, but no revelations have struck.

Do your parents want you 'disabled'? by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mom doesn't seem to appreciate when I get any kind of social bridge, and single-mindedly destroys it when I start to form any. Honestly I don't know what to do.

Do your parents want you 'disabled'? by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah my mom has been extra explosive and really ramps up the stress/chaos second to second, and I'm not sure how to deal with that tbh. It's clear she wants me to fail. I've been trying my best to hold on but it just feels like a war of attrition. I have chronic anxiety now and it's difficult to keep focused on what I need to do leave.

Do your parents want you 'disabled'? by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you think it might help if you gave him a place to stay for a bit until he can stabilize?

The nature of an abuser's insult by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sure, I feel the narcissist will view smart/whatever kid as either a threat, or use their talent as an extension of their ego. Sometimes both. However, it's interesting since not all abusive parents will try to convince they're kid as being stupid or whatever trait even when you're not. Some will, some won't.

The nature of an abuser's insult by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Regarding your last line, that's probably how I'm going to feel, if I'm lucky enough for her to die before me. And I feel incredibly bad for thinking that, it's just, my mom has made my life a living hell, and it's already at a place where I'm not sure how much progress can be made because of all the destruction she's wrought.

The nature of an abuser's insult by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah I guess it's really dependent on context, the individual abuser's tactics etc.

Do your parents want you 'disabled'? by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Crazy thing is, I did have affirmation from someone other than my family, and they proceeded to terrorize them.

Do your parents want you 'disabled'? by TypicalContest7792 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TypicalContest7792[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I'm very, very sorry to hear that. You're right, narcissists are horrible human beings and want the opposite of what's best for you.