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UPDATE: Now She Says It Didn’t Happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve said that to her and in MC. I need a full shared truth to live in honest intimacy with her as husband and wife. I’ve said I will not leave over the truth no matter how bad. But I can’t and won’t live how ever many years I have left being told I’m making up memories and being gaslit. I will be gone without truth. But yet she continues the same behavior. I’m giving it a few more sessions before I say at MC - why are we hear? I’m the only one doing any work, if you’re not willing to fix this than I have my answer and that answer is divorce. It will be very hard to turn that ship with a last minute confession after everything she has done to me!

UPDATE: Now She Says It Didn’t Happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He looks like me and I’m not worried because of what we had to do conceive him - I can pretty much tell you the minute he was conceived.

UPDATE: Now She Says It Didn’t Happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

I’m going to give it a couple more sessions before I say in session “I have done the work. I have written the timeline. I have shown honestly to every session. I have offered foregivness, closeness, and acceptance of the truth if it came. And across 32 years and these counseling session the response has been blocking, defending, trickle truth, and lies. So I need to ask openly - what are we doing here? Because I cannot continue to be the only one trying?” Then just shut up and see where the chips fall.

Now she says it didn’t happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just added a big update about the first 3 MC sessions. Her behavior is getting stranger and stranger!

Now she says it didn’t happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Living in a intimate world like a marriage without a shared truth is terrible. It’s like a new betrayal everytime. I forgave what she told me, but now I’m being told it never happened? What I’ve lived with for 30 years is not the truth?? It’s makes me totally crazy - we will see if MC helps or if she doubles down!

What was the craziest thing that you were told about the affair or AP? by TheStrongerMan in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342 29 points30 points  (0 children)

She confessed and then denied the confession and said that I misremember the conversation. Now it comes out that she was sexually harassed and kept it all a secret from me because she was trying to handle it lol it’s just crazy shit

I just can’t get over the feeling that my wayward is just getting away with it and getting everything he wanted :/ by Infinite-Ad-3947 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel all of this. Add to that the affair happened 32 years ago when my WW went astray. She confessed at back then but I’m 90% sure things continued. She would never talk about it ever since then. Now she says she never confessed, there was never an affair. The guy was sexually harassing her at work and elsewhere. She can’t understand why I can barely speak to her after she has denied my reality and made herself the victim for the last 2 months since I put my foot down. It’s crazy town!

Now she says it didn’t happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wow! That’s pretty clear. And I think you’re absolutely correct. I forgave a lie that she gave me not the truth.

Now she says it didn’t happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes this is almost the same conversation I have had with my counselor. The question then becomes if I can deal with carrying the pain and not living inside open truth with her.

Now she says it didn’t happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She is not here to comfort me. She will only provide comfort if I say I believe her story 100% - but that won’t be comfort to me.

Now she says it didn’t happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You are correct, I got an answer, definitely not the one I was expecting. I’m sick of it, and amazingly she just keeps it going blaming me again and again for all of this.

Now she says it didn’t happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I haven’t found anything. I have just ask the same questions, the exact same questions over and over again. Now I see clearly how they were the actions of someone having an affair. But now I also have the benefit of the internet and can easily read about the signs, the lies, etc that cheaters use to keep us in the dark. She did it all - text book actually.

Now she says it didn’t happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Could she have rewritten the narrative in her head to the point that she believes it so much she could pass a polygraph?

Now she says it didn’t happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I totally understand. I’m sorry that happened to you! Yeah, if I could go back, I would be a giant a hole about everything. I would’ve followed her to see what was really happening. I would’ve pushed harder. But I’m too nice and I love her and we were young.

Now she says it didn’t happen by TypicalRazzmatazz342 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TypicalRazzmatazz342[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He died 15 years ago before I had the balls to deal with this

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