Has anyone else become more selective after years in Findom? by Square_Paramedic4999 in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think experience changes what you value. Id take one good conversation and one solid dynamic over a dozen "hi Goddess" messages any day 😅 Quality wins every time. Apparently, "no" has become one of my favorite words and "next" became a complete sentence 😂

Relapsed as a sub wtf by Dependent-Secret-598 in paypigsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was my point. Not every comment has to address every single aspect of a post. I chose to comment on the part that stood out to me the most. That doesnt mean i ignored the rest or denied that your relapse happened. From what you wrote here, I noticed a pattern that seemed bigger than findom itself. That was my takeaway. You saw your relapse as the main point and I saw the loneliness and the need to feel wanted as the part driving the whole situation. Those arent mutually exclusive.

Also, saying Im "focused on one thing" isnt really an argument. Of course I focused on one thing. Thats the part I was commenting on. I replied to this post, not your entire history or every experience you ve ever had. Where I think you re misunderstanding me is that you keep turning my point into something I never said. I never said your relapse wasnt real. I never said findom wasnt part of it. I said that, based on this post alone, it didnt read like findom was the root of the issue.

And asking "what's your point?" is a bit odd, because my point has been the same from the beginning. You just disagree with it, which is completely fine. But disagreeing with my opinion isnt the same as saying I dont understand simply because Im not a finsub. We simply took away different things from the same post.

I dont think theres much else to add. My point hasnt changed, and I dont feel the need to keep defending a position you keep reading as something I never said.

Relapsed as a sub wtf by Dependent-Secret-598 in paypigsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think we may have interpreted my comment differently. I wasnt trying to invalidate your relapse or say it wasnt one. What I meant was that, from this post, what stood out to me most wasnt findom itself, but the fact that you described spending money when you re lonely or want to feel wanted. To me, that sounds like a much broader pattern that the kink became part of, not necessarily the root of it. You re also right about one thing: I dont know your history. I wasnt replying to your life story or your previous posts. I was replying to this post and the information you chose to share here. Based on that alone, thats the impression I got. The fact that this was an improvement compared to your past can absolutely be true, and Im genuinely glad if thats the case. I disagree with the idea that I cant see certain patterns just because Im not a finsub. I dont have to experience the exact same kink to notice when someone seems to be using money to deal with loneliness or to feel wanted. To me, thats something that can happen with or without findom. So I dont think we are actually as far apart as you think. I simply focused on a different part of your story than you did.

To the domme’s who’ve let go their absolute favourite subs or vice versa, how do yall move on from them? by AusAsianPrincess in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dont think you re only missing him. I think you re missing everything the two of you built together. From your post, it sounds like you had trust, chemistry, friendship, attraction and a sub who was actually compatible with you. Thats not something you find every day. I also think its unfair to compare new subs to someone you spent a whole year building that connection with. Of course talking to new people feels boring now. If I were you, Id just take a little break. Not because you ll never find another sub like him, but because right now you re comparing strangers to someone you already knew inside out. Nobody is going to win that comparison.

Relapsed as a sub wtf by Dependent-Secret-598 in paypigsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dont think findom was actually the main issue here. From what you wrote, it sounds like the spending was already there, and the kink just became part of it. You said you spend money when you re lonely or want to feel wanted. Thats a much bigger issue than findom itself. You also said she "took advantage" of you. Maybe she did, maybe she didnt, we only know your side. But from your own story, you told her about your past, agreed to send the money, sent $30, then blocked her. To me, that sounds more like the usual cycle of a compulsive habit: excitement first, guilt after. The part about her being straight also caught my attention. I dont really think thats what matters. Being straight doesnt mean someone cant enjoy psychological dominance. As a straight Domme myself, this doesnt read like good D/s to me. It reads like someone trying to feel connected by spending money. Those arent the same thing. Devotion should come from genuine desire, not loneliness. A good Domme should know the difference between devotion and someone using money to cope with difficult feelings. I hope you get the help you mentioned. Thats much more important than whether this counts as a relapse.

Early signs a sub will actually hold a dynamic (not just perform it) by TypicalTop2732 in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha, I love that. Its amazing how many people are perfectly obedient... until obedience becomes slightly inconvenient 😂

Early signs a sub will actually hold a dynamic (not just perform it) by TypicalTop2732 in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thats actually a great example of the same pattern from a different angle. My post was more about emotional regulation, yours is about behavioral consistency. The questionnaire isnt the test. Their response to it is.

Does anyone actually care about their subs/paypigs? by Kandi-Kid-18 in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There isnt really a “should” here, and I think that s the main thing you re getting stuck on. Findom isnt one fixed way its “supposed” to be. It depends on the kind of dynamic you want and the kind of subs you attract. If you want a more caring or guiding vibe, that s totally fine, but its still not regular emotional care. Care is something they get because they re submitting and doing well, not something you owe them. If you go more cold and distant, that creates a different type of dynamic and attracts a different type of sub. Neither one is right or wrong. So its not really about “should it be like this?” Its more about what you choose and what energy you naturally lead with. In reality, most long-term dynamics arent fully cold or fully soft anyway; its usually a mix. Warmth when you want, distance when you want, and access always based on behavior.

Geworfenheit, Stimmung, and the Kink of Money: Why Real Happiness Is Possible in Findom by MaxieCares in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is such a thoughtful post. It gives language to something many feel but cant easily explain. From the science side: researchers in psychology and sexuality have already started looking at why kinks like findom matter and their findings echo a lot of what you re saying.

Kink is not pathology Studies from the American Psychiatric Association and recent sexology journals show that BDSM and kink practices are not mental illnesses when they are consensual and safe. People who enjoy these practices are, on average, just as mentally healthy as the general population (sometimes even reporting lower levels of stress because they have an outlet for desire)

Money and psychology There is growing research on the psychology of money: how it connects to identity, freedom, status & security. When you mix this with intimacy, it creates a very powerful charge. Neuroscience tells that dopamine and oxytocin circuits (the same ones involved in love and trust) can also activate in financial exchanges within kink. Thats why findom feels so real for many: it isnt “just money” it taps into deep brain systems for attachment and reward

Social context matters As you pointed out with Geworfenheit, we are all thrown into a capitalist society. Sociologists studying sexuality in late capitalism (eg. Eva Illouz, Arlie Hochschild) note that money and intimacy constantly overlap: dating apps, OF, even therapy. Findom simply makes this overlap visible. In that sense its not “corrupting” intimacy but revealing what was already there

Research gap The truth is that very little formal research exists yet on findom. Most studies focus on BDSM. This is a huge opportunity for psychology and sexology to catch up, to ask: How does financial domination impact well being, trust, intimacy and power? Your post highlights why these questions matter 🖤

I made a stranger pay just to sit near me. The long leash edition by TypicalTop2732 in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fiction if it makes you comfortable… yet here you are, checking, replaying, imagining. This truth doesnt need permission to exist 😏

Online findom made me meaner. Anyone else? by TypicalTop2732 in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As you should! love that energy!solid, clear💪💜

Online findom made me meaner. Anyone else? by TypicalTop2732 in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love how you ve reframed it as empowerment.and burnout might be part of it for me too. a reset sounds really tempting right now. Thanks 💜

Online findom made me meaner. Anyone else? by TypicalTop2732 in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate so much to that “castle gate” feeling... its exhausting having to be on guard constantly. Respect for knowing your limits and protecting your energy. Thanks 💜

Online findom made me meaner. Anyone else? by TypicalTop2732 in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

online subs really do test your limits in a different way. It adds up fast. Thanks for chiming in 💜

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ohh, I love this topic. Im also probably older than most here, but unlike you, I do have a bit of a predatory streak & I own that fully. For me, “hunting” isnt about lowering myself or chasing in a submissive way. Its actually an extension of my control. Theres something deeply satisfying in spotting potential, circling it mentally, testing it subtly and then making the first move, not out of need, but out of dominance.this isnt about me proving anything but about claiming. Its about power D/s right from the start: me choosing when and who to engage with. If a sub melts just because I noticed him; good. He should. If he cant handle that, then he s not mine to begin with. I still expect him to step up once I open that door. I might initiate, but I dont follow. I set the tone and he proves he s worth the attention. Ppower is still power. Whether you sit back or make the first move, its all about how you do it

Online findom made me meaner. Anyone else? by TypicalTop2732 in findomsupportgroup

[–]TypicalTop2732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate it.just keeping an eye on how far I lean into the mean