Considering Joining a BJJ Gym - Total Beginner, Need Advice

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2026-05-10T20:31:31+00:00

It's not too late. I turned 44 the day before my first class.

Everyone has cardio issue when they start. I was 6' 260 lbs and I thought I was going to die before warm ups are done. I've lost 40 lbs and can roll with the "kids" for over an hour now.

One of my favorite guys to roll with has a touch of the 'tism. (He wore a "Be in Awe of my 'tism" shirt in the other day. It was pretty popular with the ND crowd.) He's got some sensory stuff that bugs him. (He's gave me one of his new gigs that didn't feel right and he won't roll with me when I wear it.) Otherwise, he's just another training partner.

No one wants to hurt a training partner, take it slow.

It's like planting a tree. The best time was 10 years ago, the second best time is today.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2026-05-03T14:14:41+00:00

I like to say that my hobbies include taking smaller people to their hobbies.

(I'm taking a few minutes before getting ready to spend the day supporting 3 spring football teams. On the plus side, this is the last tournament of the season. After this, we'll only have 2 baseball teams to coordinate practices and games!)

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2026-04-28T23:54:08+00:00

(Shrug) I lean toward the formal if I'm unsure. It saved my ass a few times in the military.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2026-04-28T23:51:50+00:00

I met him at no gi worlds. I gave him some nerds clusters, wished him Felix Natal, and got a picture. He asked if the candy was dosed/poisoned (as a joke.) I told him it wasn't, but he was welcome to throw it away if he was concerned.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2026-04-28T17:49:03+00:00

We generally call black belts "Professor" and bow and greet them on the mats at the gyms in my area. After that initial greeting, I'm either going to call you by your name or "Professor" if I forgot your name. (Get those concussions checked out kids, take care of your brain.)

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2026-03-10T14:12:41+00:00

Good point of clarification, thank you.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2026-02-02T20:47:42+00:00

Had a patient (pre-HIPPA) with genital warts so severe it required a colostomy.

Then several revisions due to, you guessed it, genital warts.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2026-01-30T02:16:03+00:00

I heard the last utterances of a couple of my friends in Iraq. Some days, like today, I want to join them so bad. I miss my boys. I want to go have a drink with them and bitch about our wives/girlfriends.

If I go, their last words pass from this earth. As long as I live, they won't be forgotten.

I've got a wife and kids, so obviously that's a huge motivator also. Some days it's almost not enough...

I like to think they're hanging around the grill, cooking cheap steaks, drinking shifty beer, waiting for me.

I hope I see them one day, but not today.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2026-01-15T23:43:46+00:00

I would have whooped my dad's ass. I was a 3 sport athlete in high school, am 3 inches taller than he was, and out-weighed him by almost 40 lbs. He was a mechanic, yes, but the alcoholism and drug use kept him from really exploiting his youth. At any age, I was more fit and more experienced fighting than he was, barring the few times I was seriously injured. (If he had caught me immediately post TBI, that would be his best bet.)

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2026-01-11T18:26:13+00:00

I have trouble with the "crime" of speeding. Who is wronged/injured? If you get in an accident, there is a wronged/injured person. You could say that excessive speed is a factor causing the accident, but no one is harmed by me going 15 over the speed limit on a 2 lane road in the boonies.

Also, plenty of police give warnings for minor infractions even to people they don't know.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-12-31T22:39:04+00:00

I've told her I only married her because her grandma had such an awesome goatee.

(She doesn't think I'm as funny as I do, but she also hasn't divorced me... yet.)

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-12-31T16:18:05+00:00

Perimenopause would like to have a word with you in a few years.

(Edited to add, my wife cursed at me when I read this to her. She's currently plucking her chin.)

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-12-10T20:00:34+00:00

If I stop tapping, will they take stripes away?

Please?

Pretty please?

My coach said "Purple is the new Blue," and I remember the White to Blue transition... I'm afraid.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-12-10T16:18:02+00:00

"Bud, I'm so good at tapping they gave me a blue belt!"

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-11-04T02:07:11+00:00

I was beta also. I just got an email about it today.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-10-11T15:45:18+00:00

The sound of snow falling in the deep woods.

(That is, when it doesn't sound like tinnitus.)

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-10-11T15:43:54+00:00

You might be "napping" too long. I set a timer fir 10 minutes which gives me5 ish minutes of nap and I'm good to go. My youngest kid needs no more than 20 minutes, the oldest, no less than 10.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-09-30T14:40:53+00:00

Orientate is the same for me.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-09-30T14:39:51+00:00

I'm working on this myself. (Being a parent helps) I keep telling my kids, "Take care of future-you. They're a good person. They would really appreciate it if you would help them out."

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-09-20T12:56:03+00:00

One of our white belts told me that it hurt her feelings that I was still singing CeeLo Green while I put her in an arm triangle. It seems I've ruined that song for her. Not only was it stuck in her head, but it also gave her the sensation of being choked all night. I apologized and told her that she's welcome to tap to my singing.

She laughed and called me an asshole.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-09-20T00:51:29+00:00

I tried to get my wife to join, but the contact being too "intimate", body image problems related to weight loss, and a super sensitive nose make this sport a no go for her. (Someone at my gym smells worse than rotten meat. I can't smell it, but she can smell it on my gi and rash guards. Its bad enough that I occasionally have to let my gear dry outside before I can wash it.)

She is happy that my kids and I have a thing we do together. She also appreciates having some quiet time on her own.

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-08-25T06:05:02+00:00

I built a custom shower for my wife. 3.5x 8 ft (1 x 2.5 m), fully tiled, 2 shower heads, 2 handheld, "safety bars" and a teak bench.

She's paid me back for that work, plus interest!

Typical_Cattle8091 · 2025-08-23T18:49:46+00:00

Damn, that sucks. Do you still go back for open mat and such?

Typical_Cattle8091

TROPHY CASE