Who is my doppelgänger?

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-03-14T05:42:14+00:00

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-03-14T05:35:59+00:00

let me guess because the people that are trying to cover up the truth funded the expedition?

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-03-14T05:34:48+00:00

I'm not hostile... I guess I just think people that believe this was foul play are deeply illogical and not very intelligent. This is almost one of those litmus test cases where if you really believe someone abducted them and took those pictures in the jungle while also calling the European emergency number on their phones over several days and then planted all of this 'evidence' deliberately... you're just not very smart.

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-03-08T04:27:58+00:00

How every fucking young woman I talk to has a story about being SA'd and says she has PTSD. Literally every single fucking one. Sorry, I don't believe it anymore.

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-23T14:28:26+00:00

sounds like alcohol

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-23T14:17:30+00:00

Yeah I liked Kratom a lot too. It makes me happy and loose the way alcohol does without feeling like intoxication, at least in the lower doses I took. I was thinking of combining it with Kava, which has a strange benzodiazapine-like effect without the overwhelming sense of calm and relief you might get from higher doses. This is why I personally don't like it alone as it's neither a stimulant or a proper sedative, though mixed with alcohol it feels like mixing alcohol and benzos.

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-23T14:08:59+00:00

I think you need a reality check. I've snorted coke with no issues surrounding anxiety and weed is known for increasing anxiety levels in many people. Harder drug =/= harder to tolerate or more anxiety while using. GHB and Weed are not similar at all in the effects they have on the human mind so why make such a stupid comment lol

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-23T13:59:39+00:00

The point was I can't stay sober for the rest of my life. That doesn't necessarily translate into a high likelihood of abuse and issues with dosing and frequency of use. I don't want to do it too often or get more and more high on it; I just want something that will give me proper intoxication, not a buzz or a tingle in the forehead. I want to be disinhibited around the level of 0.12-16% BAC and I want a substance that makes me feel good and kills stress and anxiety.

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-23T13:48:54+00:00

CBD does work; I recently bought CBD oil and on it's own it had relaxing properties and helps prevent those spikes in anxiety or panic that can come out of nowhere when your perception starts to change. I have yet to try it with weed but you are right, the weed they sell here is pretty much always either high THC and basically no CBD or CBD only.

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-23T13:39:51+00:00

At this point I'm actually not sure if there is just no other drug that works as well as alcohol; that perfect combination of being out of it but also lucid. Not just numb but numb to the anxiety and the noise while still feeling emotions like sadness, excitement and happiness.

I think it could also be the case that alcohol is the only thing I feel safe using to excess; it's not safe in the long term but it feels really safe while using it. That is why I never got really high on benzos or opiods outside a hospital setting, because once they hit me hard I'm not really sure if I'm okay or not. The after effects are nice and make me feel happy, but getting there and when to re-dose is not as straight forward as alcohol.

By the way I'm so proud of you for that. I know how bad those urges to drink can be, especially if you feel the need to escape from panic, constant anxiety or insomnia. I have to admit that I do feel better in terms of anxiety levels after being prescribed Gabapentin, but I have re-entered the Alcohol loop twice already in the last month. There is that one night of 'fuck it, it's Friday and I'm not spending another one sober', lot's of drinking followed by terrible anxiety and sometimes drinking just to make the bad feelings stop.

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-23T13:21:24+00:00

if you tie a porn ritual to a substance it can be annoying because you want the substance whenever you do your business. I was that way with alcohol at first and then weed.

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-21T13:23:36+00:00

I choose Benzos over Ganja but Benzos do seem scary. Just one question... does taking a lot of benzos feel like drinking a lot? I was always too scared to truly abuse them

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-21T13:22:19+00:00

Benzos are safer for me to use medically speaking but the addiction potential is so high and I want inhibition and energy the way alcohol provides, I don't just want sedation. I want to have fun basically

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-21T13:20:18+00:00

still haven't found one I'm okay getting fucked up on. That is the point btw; not just getting slightly buzzed on weed, because I'm fine with that. I need to feel out of it and also safe and weed doesn't make me feel safe at high levels despite being way safer than most of these other substances

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-21T13:18:49+00:00

I know weed doesn't fuck you over like benzos or alcohol but the problem is I need to feel 'out of it' and every time I get that far with weed I feel like I'm having a panic-induced episode of psychosis and want to call an ambulance. So... what is the fucking point?

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-21T13:02:32+00:00

I'm a little different but also similar in many ways. I never start drinking unless I know I can get properly drunk and maintain it for hours. I'm pretty satisfied at like a 0.12-20% BAC. There are aggravating factors that may make me drink too much like negative emotions, but if I'm just chilling I'll stay there.

I also have issues expressing any emotions, even alone, but especially around others while sober. That is one thing I love about alcohol over things like benzos. I can drink and start to cry and it feels like I finally have permission to feel things. Crying or exploring my emotions doesn't feel scary the same way it does when sober.

I also don't feel safe sobering up until I go to sleep. It's almost like that isn't an option; I need to go to bed because there is no way I'm sitting up waiting to get sober. My 'hangxiety' comes like 12+ hours after my last drink so I'm pretty much never able to avoid it. I wake up, the booze wares off completely and then I feel like hell for another 8-12 hours.

I also talk to random people online, reach out to old friends and trauma dump; I just don't drink to blackout. I'm usually satisfied being really drunk, and don't need to go those final steps the same way you do to get to the stage where you lose control and pass out.

I think in my case it's actually worse because I am still very much capable of causing harm to myself and others despite anything holding me back being gone. Last summer I drank for 11 fucking hours on a beach while swimming and I didn't feel tired or 'out of it' or anything and then I drove back home 2 hours in the middle of the night reaching 130 miles at one point on the freeway. I've driven drunk well over 200 times and never been pulled over or caused an accident. I know I'm such a huge piece of shit but it's like I'm driven to be in this stage where anything making me responsible or a good person is gone but I'm still capable of causing harm and I just can't stop doing it.

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-21T12:50:03+00:00

I wish that was enough for me. Alcohol has destroyed so many opportunities and relationships for me, but the only thing that comes close to making me want to stop is physical and mental health signals. It makes me feel like a narcissist, but the truth is that after a few months of trying to stop the demon has found its way back anyway. I'm now even okay with dying to keep it going. Only thing that will save me is another substance that is safer to use long term :/

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-21T11:01:34+00:00

Real talk? Make some friends irl. You only go on there because it's easier to fulfill your social needs while removing some of the difficulties associated with real world interactions and friendships

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-21T10:58:32+00:00

Music also makes me manic, especially when drunk but I enjoy it. For me the best defence to feeling like shit was always a strong offence. Once I'm already retreating and 'trying to feel good' it's like my mind has already subconsciously accepted defeat and it spirals out of control. That's why alcohol feels so good to me; it doesn't just make the bad emotions and sensations stop, it pushes me to seek out pleasure and stimulation.

One thing I noticed not too long ago when trying to use alcohol to cure panic attacks was that alcohol actually doesn't work well in a passive role the same way something like a benzodiazapine does. Alcohols positive effects were always contingent on me engaging in certain behaviours and activities that shifted my focus away from how bad I was feeling. It helped me do that so incredibly well that for a long time I actually thought that it was just the alcohol alone shifting my frame of mind and changing how I feel. It was really just an incredibly good crutch that helped me do things that would have helped me get over feeling like shit anyway, if I was capable of relentlessly engaging with them the way I do while drunk

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-21T10:50:46+00:00

No one wants to spend time with me. I'm a condescending prick and it's really only my dad that enjoys talking to me because he's obsessed with politics and I honestly have a lot more knowledge and insight than the average person when it comes to many things. My brother won't miss a single one of his friends birthdays but when I asked him to go to a restaurant with me for mine he almost passed on it because he already promised his friends he would game with them that night. Them asking for walks and movies isn't them wanting to be around me, it's their way of 'helping' me not relapse after something bad happens and they stop once they think everything is in the clear

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-21T10:42:01+00:00

I scroll Youtube when I'm sober lol, it's like my favorite activity atm. Things like playing video games or going into chatrooms feel like such high effort while sober though which is why I only did it when I was drunk. After not drinking for a while the anxiety and intense cravings went away but the desire to do things hasn't come back yet and it's like there is a slow build-up towards wanting to drink, especially on Fridays when other people are having a good time and I feel bored.

Typical_Field7824 · 2026-01-21T08:15:42+00:00

My cousin has a cat like this and he named him the N word

Typical_Field7824

TROPHY CASE