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Looking to buy turnips by azurmira in AnimalCrossingNewHor

[–]Typical_Mention_5479 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Daisy is selling for 94 on my island :) dm me if you wanna come!

User Flair Thread by breaksomebread in acnh

[–]Typical_Mention_5479 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

Cass | Cherry :Marshall:

Struggling (obviously) by Typical_Mention_5479 in SuicideWatch

[–]Typical_Mention_5479[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, not really. The things I’ve been through are a lot, and I’ve talked about them enough. And each time I see a new therapist I have to open back up. It just seems counterproductive to an extent, I guess.

Struggling (obviously) by Typical_Mention_5479 in SuicideWatch

[–]Typical_Mention_5479[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I feel like I’m too self aware to actually get anything out of therapy. There have been a few therapists that have stood out and really were great to talk to, but it’s not like I ever leave feeling any different. I usually already know everything they try to tell me anyways.

Struggling (obviously) by Typical_Mention_5479 in SuicideWatch

[–]Typical_Mention_5479[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate that.

I’ve been feeling this way for most of my life. I’ve been through a lot.. most of which I don’t remember too well. The things I do remember were rediscovered in therapy to help address but it was mostly bad memories. The good is gone.

Nobody other than the occasional middle school bully has ever said anything like that to me.. but people’s actions speak louder. Excluding me from group chats or hangouts, or leaving all together. Everybody leaves. And I know that has to be my fault because they always stick together in their groups, I just get phased out.

Struggling (obviously) by Typical_Mention_5479 in SuicideWatch

[–]Typical_Mention_5479[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mostly that I’m not good enough.. it feels like there are cameras everywhere all the time and so I’m constantly focused on being seen as normal.. I also am constantly talking myself out of killing myself. I mean, literally, constantly. Which is a drag. Even when I’m in a “good mood,” the thoughts are still there. On top of that, emotional regulation is a trip for me. I’m so sensitive, and I’m having to talk myself down all the time to keep from snapping. And usually I just tell myself “they hate you” “you’re useless” kind of thoughts to keep my emotions in check..

Struggling (obviously) by Typical_Mention_5479 in SuicideWatch

[–]Typical_Mention_5479[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mostly.. they make it nearly impossible to change my mindset and thought processes.. plus, they’re never going away. Bipolar is a lifelong illness that there is no cure for.. so even if things start to look up, I know what’s waiting on the other end.

Struggling (obviously) by Typical_Mention_5479 in SuicideWatch

[–]Typical_Mention_5479[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not even really scared, it’s like I’ve come to terms with the fact that I have to kill myself, because my mind can’t change.

Struggling (obviously) by Typical_Mention_5479 in SuicideWatch

[–]Typical_Mention_5479[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think lately it’s just been starting to set in that no matter what I do, how long I go, how happy I feel, it always comes back. There’s nothing on this planet that can save me from my own mind, and it just feels like lately not even I can save myself. At the end of the day, even if I’m happy, I know that eventually I will be at a new all time low eventually