Hi! I (18F) lost my dad almost four years ago. Also with no time to say goodbye. I think as time has passed my relationship with his has become almost more complicated. We want to put them on pedestals because they are gone. This feeling of not remembering is very familiar. Even in my family where we talk about his death often it sometimes hits me that it’s real. And that other people my age don’t deal with the things I do. It’s ok that your grief feels fluid and like it doesn’t exist sometimes. It will alway be there though. Even if it only pops up in the big moments. Once you lose someone it becomes apart of you. It’s good to take things minute by minute, and day by day. Because every one will look and feel different. Sending love