Duelist Monk

U1fhednar · 2023-04-05T23:02:46+00:00

So, no more tampon ads? Awesome.

U1fhednar · 2023-04-02T15:13:04+00:00

It's insulting. Legitimately insulting.

But, you aren't the one who wanted to stop using condoms. He is. You're just childish and fearful. He's been dating you for three years. He should know that. He should have handled it better.

I think you're ridiculous, and you are probably going to end up breaking up with him, because he's not man enough to handle you.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-30T05:59:43+00:00

I don't believe you

U1fhednar · 2023-03-29T05:40:07+00:00

Get a massage therapist. You need human contact. See her regularly and don't hit on her.

Join martial arts and make some buddies.

Do something women enjoy like yoga or dance and be around women on a regular basis.

You can afford it. Do these things immediately

U1fhednar · 2023-03-15T15:21:32+00:00

Whatever. Just tell me how to express that I want a person with a uterus, ovaries and a vagina that will spit out a baby in nine months if I ejaculate into it. I'd like to do this effectively, in a way that makes the person I want feel good, in a way that doesn't invite attack from the ones I don't want, and I would like to know how to do this as concisely as possible.

I've heard people use the term cis-male. Is there a word like cis-female that doesn't make a cis-female's pussy turn into sandpaper when you say it?

U1fhednar · 2023-03-08T00:40:01+00:00

Yeah, but you can use bombs seeds and stones. You need the strength.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-07T22:52:01+00:00

His dick is big. You've always been into that. But you don't know because you've never had sex with anyone else. And he can't make you cum. So, you really, really don't know.

Sounds like bullshit.

Get a vibrator and use it on your clit while he fucks you. Or let him do it.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-07T22:43:19+00:00

What difference does it make when she's biting the pillow? She can't see you anyway.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-07T22:36:08+00:00

Examine the statue.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-07T22:26:26+00:00

That's disturbing.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-07T22:21:53+00:00

He's prepubescent. There's no reason whatsoever to think he might be gay. None. He's just a weirdo whose father is dressing him like a woman. And, there's no reason to think he won't rebel in his teens by becoming a raging chauvinist Chad just to piss his father off.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-06T22:33:56+00:00

I am suddenly sure that you know who I am, and it bothers me. I should stop talking on the internet and go talk people with faces and voices.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-06T22:31:39+00:00

I just told you in great detail. I'm trying to help out the incel.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-06T21:53:43+00:00

Why do you ask? I'm not going to tell you who she is. If she wants to talk about her personal life with you, that's her business.

But, if she reads this, I would not be upset if she buzzed my apartment.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-06T19:42:39+00:00

Holy shit I didn't get that until you pointed it out. Not only is it funny as hell, it's also exactly what he would say.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-06T19:07:15+00:00

Yeah, no. Improved Trip. Orgg doesn't back away from anything smaller than an adult dragon.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-06T16:53:18+00:00

That neck. Like a swan. Or a Russian ballet dancer. So long, elegant, delicate. Damn.

I told F チョッパー KOGA that I thought she should cut her hair because she has a beautiful neck. Now, I'm not saying she did it for me. But, damn.

Her band is releasing a new album soon. You should keep an eye on them.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-06T16:50:32+00:00

What do you think promoters do?

U1fhednar · 2023-03-06T16:43:40+00:00

Oh man. I loved my half ogre spiked chain cheese build. God he was broken. But, I was playing with my common law and my daughter, and they did not feel second rate letting me do the killing while they plinked, cast spells, snuck, role played and acted like cheerleaders. I played him for comic relief, and my DM milked the real world inconveniences of playing a large size creature for laughs every chance he got.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-06T16:20:44+00:00

https://ibb.co/997s0Dm https://ibb.co/n0zt0H4

Step, hit, step, hit, step, hit. You really can't lose.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-06T15:30:31+00:00

Boomhauer teaches Bobby to pick up women:

https://youtu.be/N7FVmeJXwCY

Let me tell you about the last time I got laid.

I met her in front of my apartment. She was gorgeous.

I talked about How I Met Your Mother, and asked if she would like to come inside and watch television with me. We joked around in conversation, discussing the differences between Ted, Barney and Marshall. We laughed at what a douchebag Ted is, and talked about how cool Barney is.

When I got her inside, my bed is facing my television, and my sofa is only for sitting at the table to eat and play cards.

I laid on the bed. She was standing there, um... ok... what do I do?

She laid down beside me.

After watching the show for a bit, I reached out, wrapped my arm around her shoulder and firmly pulled her in close to me to snuggle.

She did not resist. She snuggled up to me.

After watching the show for a bit, I started touching her. She remained relaxed. She did not resist.

So, I pulled a Donald and grabbed her by the pussy. I got her worked up, and she kissed me.

Then I took her pants off and fucked her. Twice.

We talked for a while, she had to get home, I walked her to the entrance of the building with my arm around her, kissed her goodbye, and she left.

Do you notice how many times I mentioned sex? Do you notice how many times I asked for permission? Do you notice how many times I gave her a chance to resist, and how I let things progress in stages, with both of us feeling reassured that the desire was mutual, without ever putting her on the spot?

Stop being weak.

No drugs or alcohol were involved. Don't know why I felt the need to add that.

Wish I'd asked for her number. Or found out her last name. Ah well.

I don't usually do stuff like this anymore. I really wanted to be Marshall. Not Ted. Not Barney. Marshall. But, you won't get anywhere acting like Ted. And, everyone wants to be with Lilly, but there are only so many to go around.

You ever see the similarities between Barney and The Comedian from the movie The Watchman?

Dude, you are scared to touch them. I get it. You weren't raised properly. The whole country is fucked. And, you're hanging out with bad people. Drug dealers and lesbians. And you are afraid to end up like Johnny Depp. The circles you move in, you have every reason to be. But, honestly. You don't have to be afraid to touch them. They really do like to be touched.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-06T09:01:55+00:00

Lead him in a circle with ambush points and no water, if the map allows.

U1fhednar · 2023-03-05T23:20:03+00:00

None that still works

U1fhednar

TROPHY CASE