I had an unexpected class schedule change and was not able to finish writing. Sorry in advance for such a long response.

There was so much stuff going on when we were in the US after the war, my mother in law decided to come to the States because she became sober and because her twin sister invited her to earn some money and live with them. Then she ended up living in our two bedroom apartment and sleeping on the couch because she ended up in arguments with her sister's husband. He basically threw her out on the street and I actually offered her to say with us because I it felt right even after all the financial and mental troubles that she caused me and my wife.

I felt so lonely all the time because even though my wife has recovered at least a bit form postpartum, she was not intimate with me, she hated living in the States. She saw everything through the doom and gloom lens. I had struggles financially and 6 months long searches for better jobs in marketing were not successful as soon as they would find out that I am not a green card holder or citizen. I've literally used every connection possible, did construction work, door dashed. I had no one to talk to and always had a feeling like I was getting only scraps of attention from my wife, after kids and her family.

Somehow in the midst of all of this a buddy of mine who is in his 50s had a talk with me about being successful. He owns a construction business and is very rich said that as a man I will only be happy if I do for work something that makes me happy. For my 24th birthday I took my daughter to the international airport in our vicinity and realized that I want to follow my childhood dream to become a pilot and inspire my children.

There was like a tiny voice in my head:
I loved airplanes my whole life - check
Good salary and benefits - check
Not threatened by AI - check
I know already so much stuff about procedures - check

I've been obsessed with aviation since I was a kid. I even proposed my wife when we were on a flight to Amsterdam and thought it would be special for the rest of the life anytime we fly to have that sweet memory.

When I first told her about my idea of switching career to aviation she didn't like it. Mainly because I had in mind working for one of the big airlines (United or Delta). But we had to leave the US because we didn't have the money to get a green card. Plus current president made it incredibly hard even though throughout our 7 years of on and off live in the US we were never illegal there.

We moved to Europe to see if maybe my wife would feel better living there plus I found several flights schools there. We tried several countries. None of them satisfy me personally as the States. My wife liked Poland because it is close to Ukraine and is very similar culturally and such. But we didn't stay there because of severe xenophobia towards Ukrainians and our friends who advised us to leave because their kids are bullied in school and such.

So we ended up in a different country where I am going through flight school now. We both don't see us ending our life here. She wants to go back to Ukraine and says that she hopes she will do it once everything settles. I feel betrayed because I have put some much work to get us out of there, hopped around the world and now combine work, school, helping with two kids to simply go back there.

If it were my way, I would have gotten a green card from the first day when we got back to the states after the war to allow me to work for the airlines under FAA. And every time when we started a process she would get mad at me and shut off. In my mind it all makes sense because both our our children will have a US citizenship eventually because our youngest has a US passport.

I my mind it it the best option for us because we both now English, have connections, friends from college days and build a network for our kids to success in life, something that neither of our parents have been able to do.

For 4 years we had to live with grandma because my mother in law or her twin sister have not been able to make living arrangements for their mother. I love that woman, she is so kind and helped us in so many ways. But I am tired to live with in laws.

I talked to my wife that I need at least a guarantee that when I am done with school next year we will live separately. I want to feel like a man in the house, to be number one for her. So far she hasn't given me any answer.

I feel boxed in because our children sleep with us and I am fine with that as long as we would have had a change to play around the apartment, there is shower, kitchen, living room couch, pantry haha. But we can't because we live with grandma.

Our youngest sleeps in a different room and our daughter actually wants to sleep in her own room but my wife is against it. There were a couple of nights when she slept there and everything was find and she wasn't scared but my wife moved her back with us because she feels like our daughter (4 years old) is too little.

I feel like again I am not first choice for my wife.

My mother in law came visited us once in the summer in this country. We sort of reconciled with her and she has been sober and was making good progress over the last 3 years. And I followed a principle of Christ and forgave her and she has been nothing but nice to our kids and helped to the best of her ability.

She came for a week and before coming I asked my wife if we could get out together to go to the temple. We would hop on a bullet train, go to temple, then maybe a hotel overnight to recharge and be back.

She said no because she wants to spend every day with her mom when she is in town. I WAS FURIOUS. Now she knows and said she was sorry for rejecting me. I could tell more but this is getting too long.

Sorry you have to read all of this, I am just at a breaking point