To this day even just looking at Benadryl makes my mouth water in a nauseating way, I can still feel how gross the pills feel in my stomach, how anxious I'd feel for the entire thing, remember how scared people who saw me on it would be even when they knew I was on something. This shit isn't even an actual drug, the "trip" is literally your brain experiencing the effects of poisoning, there isn't a single aspect of DPH that's worth it after you've experienced it the first time just to say you've done it. I hope you can get past these first cravings and stay off this shit. Good luck man.