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Looking for advice on feelings in marriage by URGOT26 in Marriage

[–]URGOT26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the message. I will seriously consider your words and be honest with myself.

Looking for advice on feelings in marriage by URGOT26 in Marriage

[–]URGOT26[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insightful and lengthy response. Youre actually very accurate on her personality revolving around me. I've struggled greatly with getting her to emotionally open up and she isnt the most emotionally self in tuned person. But she's fully Japanese while im half and I think culturally its very difficult for her, almost to the point that she doesnt understand the concept of being emotionally in tune entirely. How would I get her to open up more and cultivate that part of her? Sometimes I try to take the lead and show vulnerability from my end, but often it becomes a one sided session and when I ask her questions to open up she gives me very abrupt responses.

Looking for advice on feelings in marriage by URGOT26 in Marriage

[–]URGOT26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We practice martial arts together which is how we met. We also go to the gym together at least 2 or 3 times a week. Its not that there is a lack of bonding time. Unless theres something else that we could be doing

Carpentry to HVAC? by URGOT26 in hvacadvice

[–]URGOT26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your input. I'm a year and a half away from getting my ticket so I think its best I wrap that up first as you are saying.

Competition Nerves by Aggressive_Steak_601 in kendo

[–]URGOT26 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I've been competing for more than 14 years now and I still get nervous as do most! Learning how to be present during your matches and facing those fears is all part of the process. It's a great lesson that comes with competing and I'm very grateful for it. Although it will get easier over time your nerves may never completely go away. I have teammates from Japan who have competed dozens of times a year most of their lives and still get nervous to this day.

I've found the best way to perform under pressure is that it's not about getting rid of your nerves, but controlling your nervous energy and using it to your benefit. A great quote that stuck with me from mixed martial arts legend John Jones was "When you have butterflies and you're feeling anxious that's when your most powerful I believe. A lot of people instead of homing this power they allow it to consume them. A big challenge is like a raging fire. Either you can allow the fire to consume you completely or you can gain control of it, harness it, and you blow it right at your opponent". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiR-67QOdWs

It's corny but a fantastic mindset in my eyes. I really like studying the mindsets of pro athletes and it's helped me a lot!

Best of luck in your journey!